Success...One Day At A Time

Yes You Can! But Only If Your Attitude Is Right...

I've been playing single dad all week to feisty 3-year-old Skye, and just a few months ago I would never have told you that I would have enjoyed it so much!

Sure, it has been 'interesting' at times, but I've noticed that, when I was married I would mentally look upon a lot of parenting stuff as an 'effort'. Now that I don't have much choice (and certainly appreciate my girls more), I find that I've changed.

Except, outwardly I haven't changed much - it's my ATTITUDE that has changed - and I can tell you that it has made a huge difference to how I look at how I spend my time generally.

You see, there are many things where you have to literally take a deep breath before you start them - usually because they don't come naturally to you.

Now, despite what I may have thought about myself in the past in regards to being a dad (or whatever I had been told about it in the past) - I now KNOW that I am more than capable of being as good a dad as anyone else. It wasn't that I was never around before, or didn't take an active role in the upbringing of my girls - it was just my attitude about my ability to do so was different. This was then outwardly reflected in how I appeared when I spent time with them. (You know what I mean!)

You see, it compares with public speaking. It's one of those things that are worse the more you think about it - yet, once you just get on with it - it's nowhere near as bad as you thought! Plus, once you do it once or twice - you realize that you are more than able to do it.

For me, it's taken me out of my comfort zone...but, like everything that I have done in the last six years, I have ONLY benefitted from it!

Not only that, once you realize this (and I will hold my hands up and say that I forgot it over the last few months because of my seperation) then your self-confidence will only increase, as well as your self-belief.

I'm a better person, as well as being a better dad...and I can certainly guarantee that if YOU just nudge yourself in a slightly different direction, you too will find out that you have talents and capabilities that you would never have believed!

Just try it and see for yourself...

My Life Lessons...

Yes, it's been a while. A fair few months in fact.

Well...let's say that whilst I've been away, I've learned so much about life that I KNOW that, just like 2001 when I quit my job forever to do this, 2008 WILL be a watershed year for me both in a personal and business sense.

And I want YOU to accompany me on the ride!

Although I can't promise nailed-on regular stuff for you (that is reserved for my friends who subscribe to my It's Obvious, Stupid! print newsletter) - I promise that I will be sharing some of the insights I am both learning AND applying in my OWN life...in a way that will absolutely help YOU.

So...let's just start off with the major lessons I've learned since the end of July last year when I separated from my wife, Lesley (her choice, remember!). Now, some of these things may sound negative - but they're not intended to - they are just the things I've learned, and which I will forever bear in mind over the years to come...

1. No matter how much you know someone, you can never know what they're thinking.

2. If you are motivated for someone else, make sure that, if they weren't around, you are STILL motivated!

3. Don't try to help other people when they either don't know they need it, or don't appreciate it - you'll only end up worse off.

4. People change (including you!) - sometimes almost overnight. The sooner you accept that change is the norm rather than the exception, the easier you will be able to manage change in your life in general.

4. Listen to your gut instinct - even if stuff doesn't work out in the way you hoped because of it. There is a bigger picture that is moving stuff around for your future, whether you realize it or not.

5. Focus on what you want and what you have, not what you don't want or have 'lost'.

6. Some things aren't personal or your 'fault'. You are still as capable as you have always been even if others make you feel otherwise.

7. Change is hard - but usually its because you NEED to change in order to take your life to the next level.

8. Your feelings are the key to working out what you want from your life. Don't block them out (like a typical man, I used to - not any more), or ignore what they are telling you.

Finally...the absolutely most important one of all...

Things like youir spouse, your children, your health, your standard of living, and your free time are just some of these very important things that, believe me, you don't realize how important they are. Guess why my daughters Katie and Skye are going to benefit from me being a much better dad to them - just because I appreciate them more than I ever have done.

Maybe one day if you meet me in person at a seminar somewhere and buy me a drink or two in the bar, I'll expand more on the experiences I had which reminded me why these lessons are so important.

Put it this way - adversity is an amazing teacher once you start looking for what you can gain from it!

So...what have YOU learned about life in the last six months? Feel free to comment below...

Doing Little To Create A Meaningful Life...

It's been a while since I wrote something brand new for you.

There's a very good reason for that.

I've been working on ME!

In the few weeks since I last wrote a 'proper' article for you, I've:

- spent five days at a seminar learning more about my business (and the people in it)
- spent two weeks playing 'house husband' because my wife, Lesley, hurt her back
- spent three days evaluating new real estate deals in my local area (BTW, apart from buying my own house, I have ZERO experience in doing this. I love a challenge!)
- spent some time with Lesley evaluating why I do what I do (i.e. work from home), and how my role now fits in our household compared when I needed to be around caring for our son
- wrote my "Our Wealth Partnership" print newsletter
- spent some time trying to connect a few people here in the UK to co-ordinate a Master Mind
- wrote a presentation that I will be delivering this Sunday at a real estate/internet marketing seminar (BTW - it's all new stuff that I've never talked about before)
- spent loads more time with my two daughters

So...you can see that I've been very busy - but not necessarily all in a work sense.

Which is important.

Sure...I could've worked harder and not spent time teaching myself real estate stuff. I could have done a little more, and not spent so much time with my family.

I could've stayed at home and saved a week, 24 hours worth of travel, and few grand in expenses by not travelling to Washington for a seminar.

But I didn't.

Did my income go down? Sure.

Did I get SO much more out of LIVING my life than if I'd just spent the last few weeks stuck in front of my PC? Definitely Yes!

In fact, because I've taken the time to NOT to work so hard - it will have a positive effect on how much I will achieve when I DO work!

My brother, Mark, always says that all I say is that I can't be bothered to do this or that. It's true. It's because I am ONLY 'bothered' with stuff that will help me make the most of my life, and get the most out of the work that I do.

Lesley thinks that I should make more of an effort in getting along with people in my family, whereas I take the view that, if they want to spend all of their energy moaning about how crap their life is, then I don't want to be within earshot! It doesn't serve me to be sucked into other peoples' negative life experience.

And...it won't serve YOU, either!

But, I'm not being selfish in a negative sense. I'm just taking care of who and what I allow into my life so that I will be in a better position to make the most of it!

And...by making the most of it, the people I care about the most will benefit from it.

So, even though I certainly am driven where my business is concerned, there is definitely a place (in all of our lives) for those people who REALLY make life worth living - whether it is your spouse, your kids, or great friends who are as passionate about life as you are.

Welcome to my world! It's one of my greatest achievements in life to say that I have the choice to do whatever I want with my life. My decisions and effort are totally my responsibility - as are my results.

My sincerest wish for YOU is that you reach a point in your life where YOU also know that you are in COMPLETE control of who you are and who you can become.

Life's too short to be someone you're not because of what other people tell you.

YOU deserve a great life. I think that it's time that you really make a go of it.

Life's too short for 'if onlys...'

Success. Life. And Knowing What's Important.

Just a short issue this week, as Lesley has been ill in bed for two days, and little Skye has been feeling a little under the weather.

Throw in seven hours of coaching calls in two days for my Adsense mentor group...and my life suddenly has turned complicated!

So...my early-morning starts have continued this week, getting up at 5:30am and having an hour of focused work before the 'new dad' side of my life kicks in once the kids gets up, allows me to feel as if I have accomplished something even if I spend most of the day doing chores!

I'll admit it...I'm terrible when Lesley is ill. (I blame my parents!).

I do my bit and do whats necessary, but, for some reason, I find it very much like hard work...even though I am more than capable of doing whatever's necessary.

Perhaps it puts me out of my comfort zone...which I can always tell when I have to take a sharp intake of breath before I 'dive' into the next household/children thing to do.

Typical man many people would say!

One of the benefits to my family of me working from home is that I am around when all hell breaks loose!

And...one of the challenges of working from home is being able to juggle moving my business forward whilst in the midst of that stuff called life.

I wouldn't change it for the world...though I certainly know why I try to organize my working life around my family life - and not the other way around.

This last couple of days has been a reminder to stay focused on this point!

As should YOU!

And I'll paraphrase something you've probably heard quoted before...

"When you're on your way out - you won't be saying to yourself 'I wish I worked more' for all those years"

In the grand scheme of life...it's often the people and circumstances we take for granted that are THE most important things in our life.

I'm going to try to handle the juggling of both my worlds better today (because Lesley deserves it).

And I think that you should give a few seconds thought to how you can focus even a few minutes a day towards WHO or WHAT is REALLY important in YOUR life.

Then go and prove it!

Energy, Focus...And Why Is It That Little Motivators Can Do This?

Life is continuing to get in the way of some of the plans I have at the moment.

Whilst some people might complain...I just look at this delay as an opportunity
to make sure that I'm definitely moving towards the path that is best for me.

Which is why I happened to be aimlessly surfing the 'Net this morning (!), and I came across this short (10-page) report, which, although it covers a very simple principle...I still think that it is worth the less than 10 minutes it would take you to read it.

It also helps that it's 100% free!

Find out for yourself about the strangely titled - The Human "D Cell" Report!

With a tag line of "How To Create *Instant* Results And Amplify Them In *ANY* Area Of Your Life Doing Something A Six Year Old Girl Can Do." - it's worth a read just to see if you disagree with Mike, the author!

I was intrigued enough to part with my hard-earned cash a few minutes after I read it as I liked what Mike had to say.

More about that next week when I will have had some more time to digest it all.

It seems that last week's message hit a nerve with many people about how I react to my 'off-days'.

It's worth revisiting - just to read some of the wonderful contributions to the debate from your fellow subscribers.

Read more at How To React To Your 'Off-Days'

After reading the 'D Cell' report and revisiting some of last week's comments, I realized something very important.

Here's my favorite picture, taken just last week, of little Skye, who's nearly 18 months old - just so you're not tempted to scroll down before you read the report! (She does have a role to play in my article anyway!)

Anyway...

Just last week, I was having one of those days where I could be bothered to do the thing I needed to do (as I really wanted to do the thing I WANTED to do!)

I was sitting in my chair, shoulders slumped...and let out a sigh.

I might as well not have been in my study for all the 'work' I was doing.

All of a sudden...this little voice came from under my left arm.

'Piiiin, piiiin!'

A stubby little finger was grabbing at my desk.

'Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!'

Yep...Skye had returned to what is now her second playroom after the lounge...and she wanted a PEN!

All of a sudden, my expression changed.

It's not hard to smile at an 18-month-old - especially when it's your own, and she's doing that forceful look that toddlers have when they want something.

So...my pen she had.

Not content with that...she disappeared behind the back of my chair and reappeared at my right-hand arm.

'Paaaah, paaaaaaaaaaaaaaah'!

She was pointing to my laser printer. Yep...couldn't have a pen without some paper!

So...out comes the tray at the bottom, and a sheet of paper is in her hands.

But...she's still standing there, pointing.

'Doooooooooooor, doooooooor'!

Oops...I forgot to slide the paper tray back in.

She's got a thing about doors not being closed when they should be. Most toddlers, if a stair gate was left open, would make a run for the stairs. Skye just stands there pointing and shouting 'dooooooooooor' to tells us that we left it open!

Off she toddles back to her mat in the living room, contentedly blowing raspberries as she goes.

So...what has this got to do with anything, I bet you're wondering?

Well...apart from giving you an insight into how 'challenging' working in the presence of a toddler can be...

...the entire episode suddenly gave me a 'second wind' where my energy levels were concerned.

Because I had spent a couple of minutes NOT focusing on why I couldn't be bothered, my body had literally 'sprung' back to a more awake and alert shape.

I easily finished what I had to in the next 30 minutes...and then got on with what I really wanted to do.

If it hadn't been for my little exposure to someone who literally shone with energy, drive, and passion for what she wanted - then I would have ended up just finding something to eat, instead of doing what I was supposed to do.

Now...you may well not have a toddler that you can leech energy from like me, but, all you need to break the 'poor me' cycle is just to take a break...completely away from what you have to do.

Get some fresh air. Make yourself a coffee. Send an email to a friend.

Just do something that will recharge you just a little bit (but don't overdo it as an excuse to be lazy!)...and you will find that, if you make the most of this little breather - that you will be in a better mental (and physical) position to tackle what needs to be done.

Try it and see for yourself.

If not...Skye is available to be babysat at anytime. There's a movie Lesley and I want to see next Wednesday....!

Are You One Of Us - Or One Of Them?

Spending three days in the constant presence of ill people certainly can affect you - if you let it!

All of the patients I have ever met in hospitals fall into two categories:

- Those who are ill who talk about getting better.

- Those who are ill who want to tell everyone how ill they are.

Unfortunately - most of the people you meet in hospital tend to love to tell you in the greatest detail why they are particularly worse off than most people.

In the bed next to Lesley there was a lady who, even though she wasn't particularly worse off than other patients, felt the need to tell Lesley in graphic detail why she genuinely believed that she the sickest and unluckiest person in the world.

She seemed to absolutely revel in it!

The sad thing is that these two types of people are mirrored in normal life :

- Those people who constantly talk about failure, and how badly life treats them.

Which one are YOU?

Those Amazing Escorters...

I was reading the newspaper today, and there was a section about women of the year.

Jo Frost, of SuperNanny fame, chose Dr Kathy Hull, the founder of the only children's hospice in the U.S. - The George Mark Children's House.

Kathy had the idea from visiting a children's hospice here in the UK.

Good luck to her - this kind of help is desperately needed by thousands of families, that's for sure.

As you know - children's hospices are close to my heart thanks to the amazing help we had from Demelza House.

I read this quote from Kathy out to Lesley - and she said that it was one of the nicest things she had heard...

"There are lots of people to tell you how to bring a child into the world, but very few who can help you escort one out."

I couldn't agree more...and, believe me, without these sorts of places being available to people who truly deserve all the help they can get - then there would be many more broken families with very ill children.

Your Future, My Future, And A Reminder From The Past...

It's been a week of mixed emotions...

On December 4th - it was little Skye's first birthday.

It was also the date of the memorial 'candlelight' service at the childrens' hospice Demelza House for the children who, like my son Connor, aren't with us anymore.

Ever tried celebrating a birthday knowing that later that day you were going to a service for your lost son?

Not easy, I can tell you.

Thrown in the odd heated argument because of the pressure - and you had a recipe for a very interesting Sunday last weekend!

Yesterday (December 8th) was my 36th birthday - which also happened to coincide with Katie's Charity Christmas Carol service - the beneficiary of which was.......Demelza House Children's Hospice!

As I don't believe in coincidence - it's nice to know that little Connor is still reminding us that he can change the outcome of our days - even when he's not here!

The lesson I learned from all of this?

It's easy to forget how 'simple' your current life really is compared to where you have been in the past.

And...it's easy to forget that, although you should never forget, you should always remember that NOW is what matters - both to you and the people close to you.

Letting things get to you is a serious waste of your time. Period.

If you really think about it - most of what you are getting stressed about is based either on something that has already happened (which you now have no control over) - or something that you believe MAY happen in the future (which you also don't have any control over now, either!)

It's like trying to run up a huge sand dune - the faster you try - the deeper you get - and the quicker you slide back down.

Is YOUR life even a little like that?

It's so easy to make life complicated when in fact - it CAN be 'easy' and simple.

And...the more I write about what has made me successful over the last few years - the more I believe that it shouldn't really be that 'difficult' for YOU, either!

You're bombarded literally every day with the latest 'solution' to a problem that you may not even realized that you had!

And...even though I hate to admit it, some of my fellow marketers online are doing YOU a disservice by knowingly selling you stuff that won't work for you - whether you apply it to the letter or not.

I'm a man on a mission in 2006.

I'm going to try to find ways to help YOU achieve more than you ever have done - without costing YOU a fortune in monetary terms - or ME a fortune in TIME cost.

Not easy to do from where I'm sitting at the moment, that's for sure, but don't forget that the first elementary step in this puzzle is here.

In order to make this idea work - I am going to need something from YOU in return.

You're going to have to share more about yourself, your life, your dreams, your failures, and your successes - so that I will be in a position to tailor whatever I come up with in the best way to help you.

So...watch out for a few (confidential) surveys over the coming months.

ONLY if you take part will you be eligible to part of this 'partnership'. I haven't got time for something-for-nothing people, nor people who can't be bothered to take even a small amount of action, or get a little out of their comfort zone.

At the moment - I only have ideas in my head - waiting to get out, but I'm sick of seeing YOU and people like you being promised the earth at a price, when just a leg up will do!

This isn't some pre-sell for a product that is waiting in the wings - at the moment, I'm not sure about what I'm going to do - but I KNOW that it WILL involve YOUR partnership in doing something to make 2006 better than 2005.

Watch this space!

Negative Bird Flu Programming

A lesson from the negative affect of the media this week.

The head govt. medical honcho here in the UK announced this week that IF the bird-flu virus mutates into a human form, and IF it isn't controlled - here in the UK our population could be lighter to the tune of 750,000 people within the next few years.

IF it happens, of course!

Considering that NONE of this has happened in the Far East where the virus has been around for a number of years makes me wonder WHY the government is intent on scaring people like that.

Perhaps someone questioned them about why they were stockpiling 'Tamiflu' to the tune of 14 mill. doses within the next 3 years.

It seems to me that the only 'winner' in this mass dose of negative-expectation is the Swiss company Roche who make Tamiflu.

Guess which company has just announced significant profits on the back of this bird-flu outbreak?

And is expected to earn a few hundred mill. extra a year for the next few years as govts. worldwide stockpile their 'could-be-a-cure-of-sorts' drug over the next few years 'just in case'.

All this is a lesson on the negative effects our governments and media can have on YOUR life if you let it.

Me - I'm just going to do what I have always done. Worry about it IF it happens!

I'm Watching You...

Here's an up-to-date picture of me and 'my girls' taken at my brother's wedding last month...

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently.

And...for the first time - I just deleted the eight paragraphs that I wrote over the last fifteen minutes.

Life was calling me - telling my analytical brain to shut up as it had a story to tell. In fact - a group of little stories, played out day-in, day-out by people who didn't realize that they were being watched...

Yesterday I spent a few hours waiting outside shops wheeling 9-month-old Skye around as Lesley did her usual I-can't-decide-which-one routine.

I watched grandmothers, mothers, and children weave in and out of each other as they window-shopped.

I watched bored workers on their lunch break sit and share their food with colleagues as they complained bitterly about their boss.

I watched as the girl behind the checkout aimlessly picked her fingers as a mother with a mad toddler struggled to keep her cool and her balance as she tripped on the low-hangind clothes that she was just about to get.

I watched as a nervous salesman tried to accost passers-by by thrusting an application form aimed at getting them more in debt.

I watched as Lesley laughed out loud at a funny t-shirt in a new boutique and made the girl standing next to her jump.

I watched as Skye began to 'dance' in her high-chair at the exact moment that a young couple with a tiny baby in tow looked over at us feeding her.

I watched as fellow drivers were getting more and more stressed as we sat in traffic for an hour because of an accident, whilst Lesley and I were singing along to a song at the top of our voices, car windows down.

I watched as Katie came out of school wearing her P.E. t-shirt because one of the boys in her class had been tripped - and tipped the contents of eight paint pots over her usual school shirt.

I winced as her nine-year-old elbow made contact with my ribs as I laughed as she told me!

I watched as the now-crawling Skye made a beeline for everything on the floor except her toys, and then proceeded to chew whatever it was almost in defiance of her mother.

I watched as Lesley turned on her back in bed at 10:30pm last night...and preceded to snore so loudly that I had to put my book down and turn off the light.

I watched through foggy eyes as Katie stood at the bedroom door this morning, an hour earlier than she should have, and did that little 'jig' of anger that stroppy children do when told that they should go back to bed.

I watched as she animatedly collared her best friend on the way into school - to excitedly share with her that their classmate had returned from vacation today - and will find out that she is sitting next to another girl whom she hates!

I watched as a boy was being dragged kicking and screaming into school, crying his eyes out saying that he didn't want to go, his mother getting more flustered, embarrassed, and angrier by the minute.

I watched as miserable-faced people aimlessly went about their business as I spent the 20-minute walk back home continuing my business education thanks to my Ipod.

Me...

I watched as I sat down in front of this computer - stumped for what to write to you today - yet knowing that it was only a matter of time before I would be able to make a connection with you.

Perhaps I didn't do it in the way that I usually do - but it certainly made me realize two important things that may help you, too...

1. Life is about breathing everything that it has to offer in, and about making what you do an experience rather than a chore.

2. Unless you start, you won't have a chance of finishing. And...it's only people who start who make the most of their life - whether they finish or not.

Thirty minutes ago - I was thinking that perhaps I should eat as I wasn't in the mood to write anything.

Instead - I just started...and whether you liked it or - I got what I need to achieve done.

Now I think I'll reward myself with some more watching as life shares it's experiences with me.

And it didn't cost me a single thing to make the most of it.

London - And Not Letting The Terrorists Control YOUR Thoughts...

Yes - what happened in London yesterday IS horiffic.

Yes - it does beggar belief that there are people who feel the need to do such things to innocent people.

Yes - we shouldn't let the terrorists win by changing how we live because of the fear of something similar happening again.

As someone who was born and spent the first 34 years of my life in London I can certainly understand the shock that many people are going through.

I remember having to walk through the 'Ring of Steel' put up around the City of London because of the IRA bombings that went on a few years ago.

At the time Lesley was more scared for my safety than I was.

I used to tell her that if something was going to happen at the same place and time that I was - then I could never 'second guess' where that would be and would instead make myself ill from worrying about it.

I have personally used the tube stations...and walked those very same streets involved yesterday many times in the 15 years I worked in the heart of London.

It's certainly a sad day for humanity once again, that's for sure.

BUT...

Unfortunately - due to the 24-hour blanket news coverage - those of us who aren't directly involved almost become brainwashed into becoming 'voyeurs'...

- How many were killed?
- What stations were involved?
- How many emergency personnel are involved?
- What was the number of the blown-up bus?
- What is the current 'state of alert'?

(I'm guilty as charged having spent most of my day yesterday in front of the TV)

Of course...

This stuff is important for many people - especially those in the media who like to 'keep score' by comparing Madrid to London - or certain details to September 11.

But let me ask YOU this...

What good does this do for YOU?

- Does it put you in a positive mindset about your day?
- Does it make you feel any better knowing exactly where each bomb was placed?
- Does it make you feel better than before the more gory details emerged?

Of course it doesn't!

Now...

Of course this atrocity won't make you feel particularly good.

BUT...

If YOU constantly feed yourself on wall-to-wall news coverage then you are only going to achieve ONE thing...

You are going to be walking around for the next few weeks (or even months) feeling down, miserable, depressed...and perhaps even frightened.

Is that how you REALLY want to FEEL?

After the first news bulletin today - I have decided that I now know enough about what happened - but don't need a constant reminder to 'drag' me down.

Constantly watching this stuff certainly won't serve you well in terms of your general well-being that's for sure.

Just last week I was listening to a tape from 2002 where someone stood up at a seminar and said how miserable she had been - and how the events of 9/11 had pushed her 'over-the-edge' - even though it didn't impact her life directly.

Sure - things like London, 9/11, Madrid, Bali etc WILL impact your life if you, loved ones, friends or colleagues are DIRECTLY involved in what happened.

And...as a father who lost a son (through other circumstances) at four-and-a-half - then I can certainly empathize with what you may be going through and my heart goes out to you.

BUT...

If YOUR only experience of this latest tragedy is via the TV - then for goodness sake - pay your respects of course - but don't get sucked into the doom, scaremongering and sadness of it all.

Let those whose lives are affected get on with coping with what happened.

It's YOUR job to take care of YOURSELF and YOUR thoughts - and to get yourself back on a positive track as soon as possible.

And move on.

Don't let the terrorists win the battle of controlling your THOUGHTS!

Perhaps one of the most positive things that came out of the events in London yesterday was something I heard on the radio this morning.

There was a guy who was in the train station above the tube station where one of the bombs went off. He felt the explosion and, of course, was traumatized once he found out what had happened.

He went home early from work with his girlfriend (who was there with him).

As they watched the unfolding events on TV during the day they, perhaps for the first time in their relationship, REALLY talked about who and what was important in their lives.

He got on one knee...proposed to his girlfriend...she accepted...and from being his girlfriend yesterday morning - is now his fiancee.

Now THAT'S the way to deal with things like what happened yesterday!

My thoughts and best positive wishes to everyone involved - but if YOU were not - then use this terrible event as an excuse to look at who and what REALLY matters to you.

And start building UPWARDS from there.

Why I Keep Winking At My Mother-In-Law

On Tuesday last week I woke up to find that the left half of my tongue felt strange...you know - like when you drink something too hot and burn it?

Well...I couldn't taste anything either.

Strange.

Even stranger was when I woke up last Wednesday and the left side of my lips felt like I had just returned from the dentist - tingly and almost numb.

My left eye also felt blurry and my left ear ached - and so a trip to the doctors for me!

Turns out that I've got 'Bell's Palsy' (my dad, bless him, went around telling everyone that I had cerebal palsy - which is a trillion times more serious!) - you may have heard of it.

Basically - one of the nerves from the brain to face STOPS...they're not sure why - mabye because of infection (well...my glands did come up the next day).

This then means that the muscles on that side of the face DROP and you lose most of the feeling on that side of your face.

Not serious. 50% of cases go back to normal within a month. 99% of people go back to normal within 6 months.

It's just a little uncomfortable and awkward.

Slurping coffee in Starbucks certainly gets me noticed...and my mother-in-law thought that I was winking at her because I can't blink my left eye properly!

Not only that - ANY form of focused eye contact - ie whilst driving, working at my computer, watching TV for longer periods - makes my eye water and itch - as if I've got permanent hay-fever.

I also have some fun-and-games trying to say words that have 'F', 'B', or 'P' in them!

I've resorted to covering my left up whilst I am on my computer just so that I am able to squeeze a little more time out of it... (don't laugh!)...

Yes...I know I look a 'state'...Lesley told me that I should pull the window blind down when I'm working so that the neighbours don't think that I'm practicing being in some dodgy pirate panto!

By about 4pm I need to spend some time with my eyes shut to 'rest' them.

All good fun - I can tell you!

It's certainly changed the way I use my day - that's for sure.

I've suddenly had to become an audio (as opposed to visual) learner. Good job I bought an Ipod a few weeks ago!

So far in the last week I've listened to 17 CDs-worth of spoken-word audio stuff about Spirituality and personal development!

I still manage my daily stroll on the beach to give my eye some fresh air.

The lessons I've learned from this?

- Don't take what is normal for granted
- Look upon it as a challenge to still 'get things done' when you aren't able to do things in the way you usually do
- You may scare young children with your crooked facial expressions!
- As Michael Caine said on a chat show once - I am always looking to "Use The Difficulty" to my advantage to find ways of doing stuff

Thinking about it - these sorts of lessons can be applied by YOU whenever YOU maybe feeling a little under pressure or your situation has changed.

To be honest - this is more of an inconvenience than anything else...and, of course - I WILL be in that first 50% that go back to normal within the first month.

So...my apologies if I don't write too much over the next few weeks (what do you mean I haven't anyway?)...but I'll try my best to give you a continuing positive slant on my 'interesting' life.

And...just for you - here's a picture that I've just taken of myself giving you one of my crooked smiles...

To give you an idea of what my smile SHOULD look like - just cover over the right side of the picture!

And...no - my chin isn't inflamed - I've been growing my 'double chin' by natural means involving too much food and not much exercise!

So...WHATEVER happens to YOU today - make the MOST of what you DO have going for you!

It's usually a LOT more than you think!

Snowdrops and Lucky Reflections

Last Sunday (20th February) was the 2nd anniversary of losing Connor.

We paid a visit (as we always do on his special occasions - like Sunday, his birthday, and Christmas) - to the children's hospice he used to visit - Demelza House.

It is an understatement to say that Demelza House gives amazing help - not only to the special needs children that visit and get one-on-one attention - but also to the families like us - who were able to have some time doing 'normal' stuff whilst knowing that Connor would be well looked after.

Their 'care' AFTER we lost Connor has also been wonderful.

And...as 'luck' would have it - Demelza's annual 'snowdrop planting' to remember those children no longer with us - happened to be this Sunday.

I counted 12 families who were there...drinking tea and coffee, eating cake and biscuits...all provided at no cost by an organization that unfortunately doesn't get a single penny in assistance from our government here in the UK.

I watched as people were laughing, siblings were painting pots...and little groups of people stood silent as we remembered.

It was strange (yet comforting too) to see other families like us whose lives had forever been changed by those special little children who unfortunately didn't make it.

Some were lucky like us to have over four-and-a-half years learning from our special child...others shared just a few short weeks with theirs.

Yet - even though it was an occasion of reflection - those 12 families were laughing, chatting, and generally getting along - despite all the obvious pain and hardship that they had been through - just like us.

These people knew that they were the lucky ones in a way (I know that I certainly feel that way)...to have had the opportunity to experience life in a way that makes you REALLY appreciate how wonderful 'normal' life is.

It's just a shame that I reckon if that room on Sunday had been full of 12 families of career go-getters who lived in nice houses and drove smart cars - I very much doubt that there would have been as much POSITIVE communication taking place.

Wouldn't YOU agree that that's such a shame?

Life certainly isn't as 'bad' as you think when you realize what these (and other people who go through similar trials) go through just to be able to get out of the door in the morning!

It's easy to sit in front of the TV wishing that your lotto numbers come up because life is 'unfair'.

Just try getting up in the morning knowing that you're one gasp away from a blue-faced son who need resuscitation whilst your wife calls an ambulance.

But - even THAT isn't unfair - that's just a thing called life!

Life is all about perspective...don't make yours worse just because you believe that you're unlucky.

You're not - YOU are certainly one of the LUCKY ones - yet you probably don't realize it.

And I'll be the first to raise my hand to say that I was just like you, too...until a special little boy called Connor came along and made me REALLY appreciate how LUCKY I was after all.

Free - Lessons From The Past

Here is a brand new Special Report called "Lessons From The Past..." in which I share some of the lessons that I have learned over the last 12 months...and how my experiences can help YOU, too.

Right-click here and choose "Save Target As" to download

Please note that you have FULL 'giveaway rights' to this Special Report...so feel free to share it with anybody who may be interested.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and to add your comments below.

And...look out next week for "Lessons From The Future..."

Why, Skye, And RSI!

To listen to this week's ezine (which is around 21 minutes long)...just click the PLAY button below...

Alternatively, if you wish to download the audio to listen to later - you can do so by right-clicking and choosing "Save Target As" on this mp3 file link which is 3.82MB in size.

I hope that you enjoy the audio.

If you have any comments...just let me know.

Feedback...And The Male Art Of Shuffling!

As the days and years go on...I am constantly trying to work out one thing...

WHY!

Both you and I should be seriously considering...

- WHY we do what we do
- WHY we don't do what we do
- WHY we have done something in the past...yet struggle to do again
- WHY we spend more time worrying than doing (but you've been there, right?)

And....many more WHYs I haven't written down!

We're complicated creatures - yet, in a way, we work simply.

And - it's all down to how we value and use FEEDBACK.

For example...

Over the last few weeks I have had a cough that has now progressed into a cough/cold...and, as my wife Lesley would say - it would be easy for me to start 'shuffling' my way through the house feeling sorry for myself as I have done so many times in the past!

(Note: If you're a man - you'd understand!)

Yet this time - although I do feel somewhat 'under the weather'...I feel a little different.

Why?

Well...instead of just accepting that, because I 'usually' get a summer cold, and suffer from a mild asthma - I've questioned WHY.

WHY do I suffer from the odd cold and wheezing fits? (albeit a lot less than I used when I commuted and worked in an office)

Well...I KNOW that I am a positive thinker - and I know that I am not actively shuffling and feeling sorry for myself (most of the time!).

But...I also know that I am overweight for my size...and, since I begin this nomadic sitting-in-front-of-a-computer-all-day-long lifestyle - the only real exercise I take is chewing my food! (and the occasional walk by the beach).

So...instead of just ACCEPTING that I will *always* be ill every now and again - I'm looking for the FEEDBACK from my body.

And that feedback is telling me that I should treat it with a little more respect and not take it for granted!

In exactly same way as I do my business and my relationships.

Except this realization has taken me a lot longer than the other two!

So, for YOU - what feedback is YOUR body, relationships, or work effort giving YOU?

If it's good - great! But...if, like me - it may not be - how are you going to WORK with the feedback that you've been given so that it DOES become better?

The Wealth. The Houses. And A Nice Sea View.

I watch very few TV programmes these days...but I was fascinated yesterday by one that looked at the houses for sale on Barbados.

The scale of these properties were, in many cases, astounding...but a couple of things really stood out for me.

Many of these huge properties share beach-fronts with what could only be called shacks.

Why?

Well...some years ago - this beach-front land was given to the ex-slaves who worked on the plantations as it was all but worthless.

Not any more. The owners of some of these shacks have been offered millions of dollars to sell.

Many don't because they say that they wouldn't change the view out of their kitchen window for anything!

One of the very wealthy would-be buyers got it spot on when he said that people like him paid tens of millions for the same thing that the poor locals got for free...

- the sea views
- their own deserted beach
- the weather
- the laid-back lifestyle

Just goes to show that once you have made your fortune - you are just as likely to want to buy the things that you CAN quite often (although on a lesser scale) get for free or for very little.

Another interesting point was made by one of the maids who worked in one of the often-deserted mansions on the beach.

She could honestly say that her mult-millionaire employers didn't seem particularly happy - despite all of their wealth.

She observed that, for most people, once you made your millions...it seemed that you had to work even harder and get more stressed so that you could continue to make MORE!

She realized that, even though she was a lowly-paid maid - she had a much better QUALITY of life than those people she worked for.

Interesting stuff...and it certainly got ME thinking about the point of 'collecting' houses and material things if you never stop long enough to take a deep breath, relax, and actually ENJOY them!

Of course...not all multi-millionaires live this way - but many do.

What's the point in working yourself into the ground - WHATEVER you earn - if it doesn't allow you to EXPERIENCE life?

Mr Contrary And A Lucky Life

On Friday evening we went to see some of Katie's old school-friends and their parents.

Over a few beers and a barbeque...a few swords were crossed...a little light 'banter' taking place between people with completely opposite views!

And...guess who had the MOST 'opposite' views of what most people class as important.

Yep...yours truly!

Now...I've given up trying to 'convert' people to see that there is more to life than money and 60+ hour weeks chasing a career.

I've come to understand that people will only 'get it' when they are READY!

When they're ready to open their minds a little and see that life doesn't have to be a constant push-pull struggle - and instead can, on the whole, be quite pleasant on a day-to-day basis.

Even if you DON'T have much money or a high-flying career!

It IS possible...but only if YOU really want it to be.

Most people aren't quite there yet in terms of going against the common beliefs that generations have shaped...whether 'right' or 'wrong'.

The other night I was actually called LUCKY for being able to work at home doing something that I enjoy.

LUCK doesn't come into it...but that's another epidode entirely!

I work very hard at what I do...and, belief me, the circumstances that got me 'here' I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy in terms of the pain, stress, and upset they caused.

Yet...for me...it's made me realize how LUCKY I really am to have had to gone through all of that with Connor - and roll up here with an understanding that I CAN enjoy my life more than I ever did.

If I (and YOU) choose to, that is.

Work And The Mind-Numbing Challenge...

Perhaps more than ever before...I am looking at whether something is not only a good use of my time...but also whether it is something that I actually ENJOY doing.

Of course...it's not always easy to balance both against earning an income to survive on...but I firmly believe that, unless I am actually focusing on what I REALLY want to do - then the money side becomes much less important.

Why?

Well...I used to be paid a fair amount of money as a consultant - yet it almost cost me my marriage and sent me spiraling down towards depression.

A 'good' position with all the material things that go with it (as well as bigger time constraints on my free time) didn't do much for my sanity - I can tell you!

The thing is...because it is almost EXPECTED of you to leave school, get a good job, carve out a career, work hard until retirement...and THEN enjoy life - then when I talk about doing things a different way around - people just don't get it!

Now - you may well not be working for yourself like I am - and are therefore more able to have more CHOICE in terms of what you DECIDE to do.

But, you do STILL have a choice about whether you stay in a job you hate - or whether you push yourself that bit harder to get that position you REALLY want - yet always complain that you don't get.

Even if you are working in a factory or McDonald's - there are ALWAYS ways that you can either -

1) Make more of what you do
2) Show yourself to be someone who is 'going places'

When I used to work in a mind-numbing check-processing 'machine room' in a bank from the age of 16 to 18 - I used to challenge both myself and my colleagues to see who could 'code' the most cheques (with the amount of the cheque on the bottom).

I can tell you - the process of doing so was like tapping away at a calculator whilst picking up a cheque and inserting into the machine every few seconds.

It could EASILY have been soul-destroying - especially around Christmas when we would work 14-hour days just processing checks all day long.

Except it wasn't.

One year I broke the bank record (unofficial because we'd made it up the year before!) for check processing.

Something like 9,185 checks. That is a LOT of checks!

I can tell you...at the time...it was perhaps my finest hour of my then-short working life!

But...didn't I (and my competing colleagues) have FUN doing it!

It IS possible to make ANYTHING more exciting - just be making it more of a challenge.

And...if you ARE in a position to have more control over what you do during your working day - then PLEASE make sure that you try to do stuff that you actually ENJOY doing and find CHALLENGING.

I've often said that 'life's too short'.

Well...as you're spending a massive chunk of it working - why not try at least to make that time something that, on the whole, is a POSITIVE experience?

Isn't it worth a try?

The Kite And YOU

This afternoon we took Katie down to the beach to fly her new kite.

Now...even though it was probably the cheapest one we could find...it STILL was capable of coasting, dipping and diving as the wind dictated.

Except when Katie failed to keep its 'nose' up.

Then...it would just come crashing down sending sunbathers scattering...and then embed itself into the pebbles on the beach.

This happened even though the wind was ALWAYS there.

One chink on the string in the wrong direction...and the whole fly-ability of that kite would fall apart in less that half a second.

Are YOU trying to go AGAINST the wind instead of WITH it?

It's easily done, of course.

For example...isn't it so much easier to see what you do wrong than acknowledge what you are great at?

I know...I have that very same problem!

We forget that firstly, we DO have talent...and secondly, that we HAVE made progress (I hope) from this time last year.

Be like that kite when it's facing the wind...go for it for all you're worth!

And...when the wind changes and your nose drops a little...and you feel as if you are crashing down back to where you started, just remember one important thing...

That wind will ALWAYS be there as soon as you get back up there again!

These Success Waters Are Lovely!

All the money in the world couldn't buy the experience I had today.

If you've got children...you'll understand.

After a rare hot day...we decided to go to a nice sandy beach about 20 miles from where we live.

A very pleasant four hours were had by us all (even me who hates sand!).

But...seeing eight-year-old Katie's face as the ice cold English Channel hit her full in the face as a wave crashed over her was worth ANY money you could pay me!

Yeah...I'm a 'cruel' father...but she soon got her own back when she made me swim for about 6 inches in water that seemed to have ice in it!

Yet...even though it STARTED off as freezing...eventually you DO get used to it, don't you?

It's always a shock when you first dip your toes in the water...yet ten minutes later you're swimming away quite happily.

Yet...the temperature of the water didn't change - YOUR perception of how cold it was did.

I sped the process along a little more quickly by sitting myself and Katie at the edge of the water and told her to imagine that the water was really warm...like bath water.

We soon got used to it...yet...if I had been on my own - I would have just dipped my toes in - convinced myself it was too cold to bother...and just walk back up the beach again!

And I wouldn't have had some FUN!

It's like ANYTHING 'new' in YOUR life.

It may feel strange when you first 'test the water'...yet in most cases...what you most fear about what MIGHT happen - NEVER does.

Plus...it proves to you that you CAN do it.

So...I haven't got an excuse NOT to go back into that freezing water next time I am down on the beach (alone or otherwise)...and YOU won't be able to have an excuse NOT to carry on doing something new once you've started it already!

Just try it and see - these success waters are lovely!

Just Get It Out Of The Way!

It's easy to get distracted when you're not really doing something that excites you.

Wouldn't you agree?

Of course...we all have to do those things that we would rather not...but the 'pain' can be lessened if you know that once it's out of the way...THEN you'll be able to do more exciting stuff.

For example...I know that I must cut the grass in my garden...and that it will take me over 2 hours to do so.

But...it's something that I don't particularly enjoy...although, of course...I'm always happy with the end result.

The trouble is that it has been occupying my mind for the last few weeks. Working at home doesn't work...as, when the sun shines, Lesley starts giving me one of her 'knowing' looks.

Bet you've been there, right?

It might not be grass...it may be your taxes...or that final bit of DIY that needs finishing.

These little 'have-to' jobs clutter up our head - when really we should be using our minds for more challenging things!

It can easily drain both your motivation and your energy if you are spending too much time constantly thinking of stuff that you DON'T want to do!

So...I'M cutting MY grass over the weekend (whether providing)...what will YOU be doing to get rid of one of those nagging tasks?

The Little Thing That Tips The Balance

I'm a lazy sort of person.

Well...I'm not exactly lazy...but I like to make sure that I actually have some 'down time' occasionally (which, believe me...isn't that easy to do when your office is next to the living room!).

You see...life's all about balance.

I used to work all the hours I could chasing a career that deep down I didn't want. I missed the first couple of years of now-eight-years-old Katie growing up.

It's a mistake I certainly wouldn't repeat again.

I was so focused on how much money I could get in return for what I did that I forgot that there was a lot of GOOD things that either money couldn't buy...or didn't cost very little.

Things like a cuddle from your child. A knowing smile from your wife when she finally laughs at one of your jokes!

THOSE sorts of things.

I get them all of the time now because I spend more time with both Lesley and Katie than I ever used to...though, in terms of hours...I actually WORK longer!

I know that it may not be easy for YOU just to 'down tools' for an hour's walk along the beach, for example...but it's the LITTLE things that really do matter where quality of life is concerned.

Things like meeting your partner for lunch. Surprising them by taking the afternoon off to spend time with them. Doing those little romantic things like emptying the dishwasher or hanging out the clothes.

THOSE sort of LITTLE things DO make a difference...add VALUE to your life...yet don't cost a single penny!

Plus...when the people you love are happy...doesn't that make YOU happy?

It certainly makes ME happy, that's for sure.

So...just for a few moments after you stop reading this...think about one, tiny, little thing that will brighten up your and/or your family's day.

Just one. That's all.

And once you realize that it DOES make a difference...then it will certainly help to put your life into a much more pleasant perspective.

Life's One Big Confidence Trick!

Let's face it...if you're not confident in who you are, what you do, and why you do it...life can seem quite a challenge!

But it doesn't have to be that way.

Confidence always seems to be something that OTHER people have...and YOU want.

Yet, it's still one of those things that seem so far away...no matter how much you 'build' yourself up mentally.

I'll let you into a little secret about confidence.

It's ALL a TRICK of YOUR mind!

Honestly.

Once you realize it...and begin to shatter the myths that you had previously believed about yourself to be true - you'll know that you've been literally holding yourself back from success because of it.

I know...I did so for years.

I always tried to compare myself to other people...and (funnily enough) would always be worse off than them in MANY 'departments'.

Little did I realize that they were thinking the SAME!

It takes a little guts to face your mental barriers about how GOOD you are.

But...once you understand that other people are more concerned about themselves than you THINK that they are about you - you will find it easier just to 'get on with it'.

Life's a challenge...yet the challenge is all the more exciting when you are competing with YOURSELF...than when you're trying to compare yourself to other people!

Go on - try it and see!

The Shuffler's Guide To Dealing With A Cold...

Isn't the mind a wonderful thing?

Lesley laughs at me before I go to any seminar...as I always seem to have a cold 'appear' the day before I go.

Now...I am not, for a moment, suggesting that I am good at creating my own illnesses consciously!

I think that, because I am at a 'heightened state of awareness' (OK - rushing around to get everything done!)...that I must batter my body into submission!

Yesterday...my brother, Mark, and I put on a seminar for the first time. (It was on marketing both off-and online for small businesses).

And...guess what 'appeared' the night before?

That little sore feeling in my throat...that is the signal that I'm getting a cold!

(God...I'm SO predictable!)

But...worries about whether I'd lose my voice for my presentation aside...I was too busy making sure that everything went according to plan to 'worry' about it.

The seminar went as well as we could have hoped...even though a couple of the delegates thought that I was a little too 'honest' (my words!) in my appraisal of their web efforts!

Do I care? Well...I only care to tell the TRUTH (in my opinion, of course), whether it is what they want to hear or not.

Anyway...I woke up this morning back home...and 'normal service' resumed.

I've just started what Lesley calls 'shuffling' and feeling sorry for how REALLY 'ill' I am...so I thought that I'd better write this to take my mind off of things before I have a little 'lie down' on the sofa!

Though...because I KNOW a positive, healthy mindset doesn't allow much room for a SERIOUS cold...perhaps I'll just rest up for a couple of hours instead of the couple of days that I used to when I had to 'work' for a living!

If you're a man, you'll understand how important 'shuffling' is to making sure that our better halves know how REALLY 'under the weather' we are.

And...if you are one of those 'better halves'...then I know that you understand that I AM the 'weaker sex'...and PROUD of it!

The Legacy Of One Little Boy

Today has been like the day before you go to the dentists.

Tomorrow...it will be a year since we lost Connor...and, unlike the other 'firsts' (his birthday, Christmas Day etc)...it isn't an anniversary that we can find any positive thoughts about.

So...forgive me if I am not particularly 'inspirational' today.

I'm not the sort of person who dwells on things...nor someone who takes a negative view on life.

But...I am certainly a person who can reflect on what has happened over the last few years.

My son changed MY life beyond recognition...and is STILL changing the path of many people around him...either through me...or from the knock-on effects on what he did when he was around...and because we lost him.

The only thing that I take strength from when I think of tomorrow is that I AM proud to have had a little boy who literally 'changed the world'...even though he couldn't make a sound.

His old special nursery school is now more capable of dealing with 'highly dependent' children because he upset the system!

Both Lesley and I very rarely get 'worked up' about anything any more because we KNOW what is REALLY important in life.

I could go on...but all I want to really say to YOU is...

Appreciate what you have going FOR you...and don't dwell on what might have been, what should happen, or what you wish were different tomorrow.

ANYBODY could deal with what Lesley and I have had to over the last few years...but it's not until you do something like it yourself that you understand how much untapped POTENTIAL there is in EVERY person, yes - that includes YOU!

So...as a favor in respect of Connor...please take a little time over the next few days to think of what's GOOD in your life.

We spend too much time focusing on the negatives to realize what an amazing time we CAN have...if only we ALLOW ourselves to.

I know...because I CAN...and so can YOU, too.

Smile Like You're Eight Years Old

It's Katie's 8th birthday today. (Happy birthday, sweetheart)

If you're a parent...you'll understand how fast time flies when you begin to see your kids grow up (and answer back more!).

For me...my birthday just comes and goes...and at 34, I've no reason to be excited about another one!

But, boy...is Katie excited!

She couldn't sleep last night...even after counting elephants (I told her to count sheep...but she wanted to count elephants!).

She got up just before 6am...literally screaming in both mine and Lesley's ears!

She jumped up and down when she got a 'groovy chick' 2-litre water cooler as a present. (don't ask).

She's been screaming for the last 2 hours as she has a little 'party' with five of her new friends.

Don't YOU wish that YOU could be so EXCITED about life?

I do, too.

But...even though I've had my share of bad times over the last few years...I've realized that, even though it's not really in me to jump up and down when it's my birthday...I DO have some laughs along this road called LIFE.

More happy than sad times...even after the year we had last year.

So, if you're reading this...THANK YOU.

And please, please...SMILE a little today - whatever your circumstances...just like you did when YOU were eight years old.

You certainly won't regret doing it, that's for you.

And...you might like it enough to want to do it some more!

Then You'll See

I'm in a philosophical mood at the moment...as we are approaching the last of the 'firsts' since we lost Connor.

It's scary to think of how him being around...and then not...has impacted upon my family's lives.

Of course...you're probably aware that if he hadn't come along, you wouldn't be reading this now.

But...on a more personal level...there are a few things that have come out of him NOT being around.

We were able to move to the coast...which, aside from changing the path of both Lesley and I, has forever changed Katie's life.

Not only that...my parents are now moving around the corner of us (incidentally between our house and Lesley's parents, in terms of distance),

So...because we lost Connor...we have a more 'relaxed' lifestyle by the sea, and my parents were able to move because somebody they knew was already down here.

The only reason this became obvious to me was as Lesley and I talked about hpw the decisions we made both before, during, and after Connor being around had shaped our lives.

His legacy lives on through having a positive impact on his closest family's quality of life.

That's my boy!

But...it also reinforced my belief that EVERY single decision that YOU make has so may 'offshoots' from it that you can't usually comprehend.

By that very same token...if you don't really make that many POSITIVE and challenging decisions...then nothing much is going to change, is it?

You can't possibly know how VALUABLE the decisions in your life can be to your future...unless you MAKE them.

Then you'll see.

It's Snow Simple, Really

It's snowing here for the first time in a year or so...and soon-to-be-eight-years-old Katie is in her element.

Even though her hands are literally frostbitten, her cheeks are red and burning...and snow is falling inside her coat and down her back...she is loving every minute of it!

Why can't we be like that?

Why can't we just enjoy the moment...and forget about the fact that in reality, if we stopped to think about it, we might feel a little uncomfortable.

Shame that we focus on what we DON'T like about what we do...instead of concentrating on what we DO like.

Whatever your circumstances...there MUST be something that you like about what you do.

No?

Well...I'll put it this way...you would soon find ANY way possible out of where you currently are if you absolutely 'backs-against-the-wall' had to.

I know...I've been there...and did exactly that!

Because it got to the point where there was NOTHING keeping me at my job that was more important than quitting.

And...that's why you might still be doing what you are doing...even if you get that regular Monday morning feeling.

We always aim for the comfort zone in whatever we do. Change means stepping out of that...so, even without realizing it...we probably get a lot more out of what we don't think that we like than we realize.

It's only when you KNOW that change is THAT important to your well-being or peace of mind that you actually DO something about it!

So...all that you've got to do know is begin something that is SO exciting...that you can't wait to want to do more of it.

That's why almost every single successful person you could mention LOVE what they do...even if they say that they don't!

So...in the short-term...if you don't have a burning desire to work on something...find what challenges you where you currently are...and build from that.

It's the ONLY way.

You Are That Person...Whether You Like It Or Not!

It's often very easy to assume that your past is a guide to your future.

I can categorically say that it is not!

Whatever you background or your current financial status...the ONLY thing that will get in the way of you achieving whatever you want from your life is...

YOU!

Yep...and I'm sorry to say that most people who wish their lives were different forget that every single decision that they have ever made...was made by THEM.

Yet still...they blame other people for where they are or what they don't have.

It's easy to do, isn't it?

I personally made a big leap in my own development when I finally admitted to myself that I ALONE am responsible for my OWN future.

I know that my results will be determined by my efforts. MY efforts.

The 'buck stops here'.

Sure...things may not go the way I expect sometimes...but, as long as anything that I have control over delivers...then that's the most important thing.

Other people WILL let you down. Other people won't necessarily help you.

Accept it. That's life.

And...YOU are the person who is in SOLE control of YOURS!

It's Christmas...And It's That Important...

It's Christmas Eve...and usually this means that everyone is getting all excited about tomorrow.

For us...it will be a different Christmas this year - for obvious reasons.

But...I've got a feeling that we going to have some fun this year.

Despite our ups-and-downs...both Lesley and I realize how important just LIVING is...even though sometimes it takes some work to make it 'work'!

We both know how important it is to value your relationships - ALL year round...not just because it's Christmas.

I'm sure that YOU do, too...but do you show it?

Should you treat your friends and family any different just because it's Christmas?

Shame that a lot of people do.

What's important at Christmas should be important ALL YEAR ROUND...no matter what 'day' it is.

Of course...I am not for a moment suggesting that you ACT as if it is Christmas every day.

All that I am suggesting is that, when you are sitting there on Christmas afternoon...full of whatever you have eaten...look around you.

Look at the people that you are SHARING Christmas with.

Look at EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

Even those ones who perhaps you'd rather not want to be around...wouldn't they still be MISSED in some way if they weren't around next year?

Now...I'm not attempting to be morbid.

All I really want YOU to do...is to appreciate those around you a LITTLE MORE...that's all.

A tiny little effort can often make a BIG difference...believe me.

So...have a wonderful Christmas...and don't forget to appreciate WHATEVER and WHOEVER is in YOUR life during this wonderful time.

Doesn't it always FEEL better deep down when you GIVE something?

Begin NOW...it's THAT important.

The Songbird Of Coincidence?

Today we went to a candlelight service at Demelza House - the children's hospice where Connor used to have so much fun when he was around.

Although not the first time that we had been back, it was the first time that we went back into the main living/kitchen area.

It brought back so many memories that it was a moving experience just walking through the doors.

What with the candlelight service...well, you could say that it was an emotional and thought-provoking day.

Especially as we were wandering through the peaceful 'rememberance' garden where Connor's ashes were scattered.

Just as Lesley and Katie went to sit in the pergola...they screamed and jumped up!

There was a little bird flying under the roof of the pergola...which seemed very unusual - especially considering that...at 5.pm. on a near-freezing countryside afternoon - it was dark.

Of course...our parents didn't give it a second thought...but, I bet that you know, that I KNOW different.

Not only that...one of the verses chosen by the head of care at Demelza House was a few lines from a song by Eva Cassidy...who (coincidentally?) was the singer of the song we played at Connor's service earleier in the year...the one which I mentioned was in the movie - "Love Actually" - that I wrote about on 21st November.

The title of that song?

"Songbird"

Makes you think, doesn't it?

The Past IS A Guide To Your Future

Sometimes all it takes is one event to change your future.

It's funny...because up until around five years ago (perhaps not surprisingly - before my son was born)...I can't recall having any of those times, which in retrospect, were what I would call 'turning points' in my life.

Yet...in those last five years...I can honestly say that there are at least half-a-dozen cases of situations which I had to deal with thst literally turned my life 'path' in a completely different direction.

Why do you think that it's only happened so recently? (I'm almost 34 years old after all).

Well...I firmly believe that, because I was actively seeking a 'way out', or a means to develop myself, or had a desire to emulate someone that I admired - this meant that I was leaving myself 'open' for those life-changing decisions.

Strange...but nevertheless true.

Have YOU got any events in your past which defined where your future went (even though you may not have realized it at the time)?

It's all very having them...but in order to use them to your FUTURE advantage...you need to look at what you might have done differently to get yourself into that life-altering position in the first place.

Remember...your limits are only defined by how much you BELIEVE in yourself.

So...isn't it about time that you got yourself into more of those 'defining' moments?

It all begins with deciding that there is NO way back to your old 'habits'.

Are you ready for THAT?

YOU Are MUCH Better Than That!

Have you ever wondered how people seem to succeed against all the odds?

I bet that you've probably looked at them...and thought that they must have been 'special' in some way in order to do so.

Well...I can tell you that they are NOT.

They're not because I know that, to some people, what I have achieved despite what has happened to my family may seem difficult in some way.

It's NOT!

Sure...looking back...I wondered how we ever dealt with some of the situations we found ourselves in as Connor struggled to survive.

But...deal with them we did. And then just got on with our lives.

I never knew that I would have such a capacity to juggle so many different things at the same time as learning a new 'skill'...24 hour nurse!

Of course it wasn't easy. Events that define your life very rarely are.

But...whether events work out in your favor in the end...it doesn't really matter in the 'big scheme of things'.

All that matters is that you come out of the other side...and realize that you were NOT 'just' such-and-such person...you were able to be much more than that.

And...if you can deal with so much at one time in your life...then there is certainly no reason why you can't at ANY other time.

It's just a shame that all too often you need one hell of a serious challenge to make you realize that you were NOT the limited person that you thought you were.

YOU are MUCH better than that!

Life. Is It All In Your Mind?

It's scary how your mind can play tricks on you.

Today we are visiting my mother's house for the first time since we moved a couple of weeks ago.

Both Lesley and I have just had a 'discussion' with Katie because she is frightened that my mother's tiny shi-tzu dog is going to chase after the tassles on her clothes!

Yet...normally Katie is more than happy to play with 'Charlie'.

But today...she is almost beside herself with worry that he might chase after her!

It's amazing how...despite nothing whatsoever changing in the external environment...YOU change.

Of course it might not be as obvious as Katie's behavior...but it still happens - probably more than you think.

For example...a passing comment in a conversation may have a dramatic effect on your self-confiedence.

I've personally received emails that 'have a go' at me for some unjustifiable reason...but it does have an impact...even though nothing has really changed!

So...be careful how much you 'talk yourself into' (or out of) situations that are really only based upon the tricks that your mind plays on you.

Always remember...YOU are more in control than you think!

It's Love Actually...But Not In That Split Second

Isn't it strange how your view of life can change in just a split second?

It happened to me and Lesley today.

We went to the cinema to see the new movie starring (amongst others) Hugh Grant - "Love Actually".

I'll tell you now that if you loved films like Four Weddings And A Funeral, Notting Hill, and Bridget Jones' Diary - then you'll LOVE this!

And we did...up until about three quarters of the way through.

As with all movies these days...there is a soundtrack that accompanies different scenes.

As soon as the opening bars of a song in a particular scene began...our hearts dropped.

The song was "Songbird" by Eva Cassidy...and the last time that we heard it was as everybody walked into Connor's funeral in February this year.

Not only that...the film is set in London...and guess what image flashed up just thirty seconds later?

Guy's Hospital...where Connor had all of his operations...and spent a fair few months of his life in.

The rest of the movie could have been the best thing ever made...but Lesley and I didn't really notice it.

In fact...we have been a little 'strange' all day because of it.

And...this is the ONLY thing that I can bring myself to do work-wise today.

It goes to show that you NEVER know what is around the corner that might knock you off of the path that you are on.

So...doesn't it make sense to accept that, whatever happens in life, there will ALWAYS be people and events that you cannot control...no matter how hard you try.

All you can do is accept that life has a habit of tripping you occasionally.

You just have to make sure that you force yourself to get back up, dust yourself down, and 'get on with it'.

Just like I will be doing when I wake up tomorrow.

The New School Of Adaptability

Katie had her first day at her brand new school today.

I think that both Lesley and I were more nervous than she was!

We didn't need to be.

Come 3 o'clock...and seven-year-old Katie is all smiles...and had already made a friend.

And, we couldn't stop her from talking about her new school!

Isn't it scary how easily children adapt?

Why do WE lose that ability to be able to just automatically adjust to our new surroundings?

We were worried that Katie would miss her friends, the school, her teacher. After all - she had been with them all for the last three years.

Yet - Katie is too concerned with making the most of the situation that she is in NOW to worry about missing someone or something in the past.

Are YOU focusing SOLELY on the NOW instead of worry about the implications of what you may or may not have done in your past?

Of course...it's not easy to just 'forget' and move on.

But...if YOU had the ability to do so when you were a child...why can't you STILL have that ability NOW?

How To Do Nothing With Change

It's not always easy to 'cope' when change is thrust in your way.

Because of my move...my whole routine has been turned upside-down...and it isn't easy to adjust overnight!

Half the battle with change, though...is how you react to it.

Once you begin to 'wish' that things were back the way they used to be...you're in trouble.

It's no good letting that little negative 'monster' eat away at you. It will only make a challenging situation a LOT worse!

So...what do you do?

Well...from my own experience over the last couple of days...NOTHING!

Nothing?

That's right. If you let yourself get worked up by the fact that things are different then you won't help yourself adjust to the situation one little bit.

Remember...your natural reaction to change is to compare the 'before' and 'after'...even if you have changed to something much better.

And...guess what the natural human reaction is when you compare where you are now with something (or someone).

You will ALWAYS be able to find something negative when you make the comparison. You won't be able to help yourself.

So...at the moment I'm trying to just ease into a routine that, although completely different...is one that I KNOW makes sense where my future is concerned.

And that's the key.

Remember...if the change (whether you may think that it is good or bad) is contributing towards your 'ideal' future...then what have you got to worry about?

Just relax, take a deep breath...and give yourself enough mental breathing space so that you DON'T beat yourself up about the fact that things may not seem quite as good as they 'used to be'.

Well, that's the way I deal with change...what about YOU?

Your Big Decision To Success

Despite my best intentions...I had to miss posting an entry yesterday because of the fact that I couldn't even find the cables for my PC amongst the hundreds of boxes that made up our worldly possessions.

Lesley feels right at home in our new house...but I currently feel like a lodger!

It's funny that all through our working lives we avoid change like the plague...yet most of us move every 5-10 years or so. In our two previous houses we have lasted five and six years respectively.

All of the upheaval and cost that goes with moving means that it is not something that is never trouble-free...yet don't we make the decision to do so on emotion and gut feeling?

Why can't we do that in our normal day-to-day lives as easily?

Why do YOU think that this is?

Could it be that, where moving is concerned...we are always making a POSITIVE move TOWARDS something 'better'...yet, the humdrum of ordinary life and career doesn't provide us with the necessary push to make things happen?

I believe that whatever you are moving towards day-to-day is, as a whole, only going forward a little at a time...it therefore can be hard for you to see that, you ARE moving towards where you really want to go...it just doesn't seem that way.

It's only when we literally GROW out of our present position at work that we finally get around to changing jobs. Or perhaps that we have allowed ourselves to 'suffer' enough that spurs us to finally get out.

But what if you could capture that sort of inspiration to make the BIG decisions...and USE it to help you move forward daily?

Perhaps without realising it...I do it in many forms - through writing this...through pushing myself out of my comfort zone...through being held accountable.

How could YOU tap into those feelings and emotions of the BIG decisions that are usually made more easily than the small ones...so that you are able to make some inroads in moving forward that little bit more regularly.

Of course...this 'theory' may be a little abstract to you to be able to apply...but try to think of the times that you made one of those big decisions - to quit your job, to move house, to try for a family, to 'pop the question'.

How were you motivated to make those life-changing decisions that forever would impact upon your future?

How you can tap into that STRENGTH of character that you DO possess to make things happen NOW?

I'd be interested to know...

YOUR time is NOW. It's time to MOVE.

Our house is almost a bare shell of what it used to be now that practically anything that moves has been boxed up!

Not only that...my Broadband connection has been taken away so I am playing 'dial-up modem tag' all afternoon.

The house stays...but we take everything that defines us and our past...and walk away.

Wouldn't it be so much easier if we could leave our mental 'baggage' behind us as we make our way through the different phases of our lives.

It's so sad that we can be influenced by our past so much that it can have a terminal effect on our future.

We're leaving quite a few sad (but still a number of happy) memories behind in the walls of our house...yet all that they represent in regards to my future is coming with me.

The six years we have had at this house defined a period in my life that I feel sad about...yet still feel exhilarated about.

So...I'm going to leave this house an entirely DIFFERENT person to the one I was when I first set foot in it.

The rollercoaster ride over that time has defined me and my relationships so much that their mark (and Connor's smile) will remain etched deep within my memory until my last days.

Not only that...I feel that, even though you know me...yet I don't really know you...I know that, because of all this...we would meet each other as friends if we were to ever meet in person.

How powerful is that?

I've gone from worrying about what newspaper to read to focusing on how I can have even a minor impact on the lives of 25,000 people worldwide.

The journey may have taken me six years...but it only really began just under two years ago when I quit my job.

Everything that I previously 'stood' for in regards to my career or my 'position' in society means nothing now...a whole fifteen years of peer pressure 'wasted' before my very eyes.

Who knows what the NEXT couple of years may bring? New house, new life, new 'start'.

Why don't you join me...and start by writing down what YOU would leave behind in that old mental 'house' of yours when you finally make that decision to MOVE ON to a better lifestyle.

But don't wait too long. The 'if onlys' and 'what ifs' are always there to fool you that some OTHER time is the time.

They're wrong.

YOUR time is NOW. It's time to MOVE. What baggage are you going to leave behind?

The Coincidence Of Moving And Connor's Nurse

As we're moving this Thursday...Lesley sent out the usual 'We're Moving' letters to our friends...and those people who you know...but don't really see that much!

We got a phone call from one of 'those' just now.

It was from Connor's old nurse who did home visits for his first three years or so...whom we had lost touch with recently.

It turns out that she had moved areas in the last month.

And...guess where she had just done a 'home visit' to a special needs child just like Connor?

The same town that we are moving to!

Now...you may call this 'spooky'...or a 'coincidence', but both Lesley and I know otherwise.

Don't you think that our son is trying to tell us that he's still 'around'?

If there was one person who could 'represent' Connor in this way...it would be this lady (whom he also smiled at a lot, 'coincidentally').

Not only that...she is looking to move to...the same area we are moving to.

Now...I used to be cynical of stuff like this...and you may be thinking that about me at the moment.

But...these things have a way of proving me right eventually!

Can I Ask...WHO Are You?

Are you really in tune with who you really are?

This may seem a strange question to ask but...WHO are you?

The first thing that you are NOT is your profession.

So...you are NOT "an accountant", "a homemaker", or "a car mechanic".

Neither are you your level in that occupation.

So...you are NOT "a manager", "a supervisor", or "a clerk"

Let me ask you again - WHO are you, really?

You are NOT your income.

So...you are not "poor", "a millionaire", or "earn $30,000 a year"

If you strip away these things from the answer that you normally give to the question - "Who are you?"...are you left with much?

I doubt it.

I define who I am by HOW I live my life...rather than WHAT I do for a living.

So...I'm a person who is a learner, a teacher, a fighter, a positive thinker, an idea-maker...a person who is dedicated to making the most of what he has got!

What about YOU?

WHO ARE YOU?

Your Money Or Your Wife?

I had an interesting 'discussion' last night with the father of one of Katie's schoolfriends.

He said that he was doing the best thing for his family by working away from home for 3 days a week...and by focusing on earning as much money as he could so that he could retire at age 50 (in 15 years' time).

Sound familiar?

He also said that on a number of occasions, his work would come ahead of his family because..."I've got the next 40-60 years to spend with my family".

I heard the familiar 'reason' for doing what he did, as, because he wanted the 'best' for his children...it made sense for him to work as hard as he could...and earn as much money as he could.

He didn't agree that, in fifteen years' time, his daughter (who would then be 22) might not even care about a father who was 'absent' for a lot of her youth.

The thing is...I could empathise with him, because I WAS like that a few years ago (albeit to a lesser degree).

But...he couldn't 'get' that what was important were what the needs of his wife and children were NOW...and not in fifteen years' time!

What do YOU think?

Am I wrong to dismiss possible ASSUMED future 'financial' happiness at the expense of having a much better family life NOW, today?

The Key To Repeating The Same Mistake THREE Times

Back on July 10th...I managed to lock us out of the house with the spare key in the other side of the door. (You can read about what happened here)

At the time...this is what I wrote...

"Who said that you can't (eventually) learn from things that happen to you...even if it does take TWO attempts to remind you!

And...if we ever get locked out and can't easily get back in again...then it IS my fault!"

Guess what happened today?

Lesley locked us out with my key still in the back of the door!

Even though it was her 'fault'...I was angry with myself because this meant that, along with the front door, we had also left keys in both of the back doors! (even though I said at the time that we shouldn't).

Ever had something happen to you like that when you KNOW that you should have done something at the time...didn't...and had to pay the consequences?

So...just in case I didn't get the message from the two previous efforts of locking ourselves out (both times we managed to get back in)...this time we spent a couple of hours trying...and couldn't.

So...I'm now a wasted afternoon and $70 down for calling out for a locksmith!

Do you think that I'll learn my lesson NOW?

I purposely make sure that I don't repeat 'mistakes' in most areas of my life because I KNOW what effect they can have of holding me back...but, it seems that I still need to improve on a few more things!

The Wisdom Of A Girl Called Katie

"What would you choose if Daddy said that you could either have a day out on Sunday or have ten pounds?"

Lesley was testing Katie (who's 7 years old)...to prove me wrong when I say that even children would rather have time with their parents instead of money.

It took Katie a couple of minutes to decide...

She answered...

"I would rather have a day out on Sunday instead of the money...because it's only money and family is more important!"

She carried on...

"Money is not important. Money is just what you buy something with."

Now...this wasn't a 'set-up'...as this conversation only came about when I asked Katie what I could write about today!

And...that was when Lesley thought that it would be 'fun' to prove me wrong!

Except...Katie (albeit after some serious deliberation - "Oh...those are two of my favorite things!") knows what matters most to her.

Perhaps there is a lesson here for us all!

P.S. Here's something that Katie wanted to say...

"Daddy was benning silly about saying would you like a day out on sunnday or ten,ponds. And I chorse a day out on sunnday and money isent inportent that mutch. But famliys most inportent."

A Wave From David Blaine...

Today Lesley and I did something that we have probably done only a couple of times in ten years.

(No not THAT!).

No...we travelled all of ten miles...and took Katie to London!

Isn't it strange that you NEVER seem to appreciate what's on your doorstep?

We did the tourist thing and spent over two hours on a boat on the River Thames looking at how many apartments were being built in place of the old industrial wharves.

Plus...

At Katie's request we hopped over Tower Bridge to see David Blaine hanging in his perspex box. And...we even seemed to get a wave from him.

There were hundreds of us (very cynical) Brits watching him as he yawned!

When I asked Katie what she would say at school tomorrow about what she had done over the weekend she said "I went to see David Blaine!"

(Forget about the other things we sailed past - Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Houses of Parliament, The London Eye, St.Paul's Cathedral etc!)

So...what's the moral of this little family-day-out story?

1) Don't ignore what you've already got...it's always better than you ever imagined.
2) Remember that the latest 'big thing' is always more attractive than what you've already got...but in the end...it's always just an illusion!

That's ALL You Need To Do

I've noticed something about how my thinking has changed over the last year or so.

I've become solution-focused instead of problem-challenged.

Whoa? Is ole Gary settling back into consultant speak? lol

Well...no...but I can't think of a better way of putting it!

What I mean (in plain English) is that my thinking is now focused towards how I can make NEW things happen instead of looking at how many problems I have to solve.

I expect that the 'problems' are still there...but because I am looking towards how I can turn them into my favor...they don't seem like problems at all!

What about YOU...do YOU think that way?

Do you look upon life as a series of hurdles that you have to jump...

Or do you look at life as something that you are creating yourself as you go along?

It's important that you get your focus right...as you'll be amazed at how many so-called 'lucky' things happen to you when you are focusing on a MAKING a positive outcome instead of FIGHTING against a negative one.

I certainly don't call myself lucky after what has happened to me and my family over the last five years (and there's some things that happened that I'm saving for my 'memoirs' which certainly make me look unlucky! lol).

But...because I am now making positive 'split-second' DECISIONS to force myself out of my comfort zone...things just seem to open up in front of me.

I'm not special...and I'm not especially talented.

In fact...I'm a helluva lot like YOU.

I spent 15 years going through the motions of commuting for up to 5 hours a day counting the years until I could retire.

I always WISHED that I could do more with my life...now, thanks to little Connor and his 'message'...I just DO them instead.

That's all. And...that's ALL you need to do, too.

The Tales of Two Hot Properties

1. House move update...

We have accepted an offer for our house that is about $1,700 less than the 'bogus' offer we had last week.

This means that we will probably end up a similar amount 'out of pocket' after all of our moving expenses...but I would gladly pay that much to have a nicer house and a better quality of life.

And...I also realized today that, as Lesley will be leaving the part-time job that she does for my brother...she won't be bringing home the $1,000 a month that she used to earn.

In the past this would have been a HUGE problem...but I know that I could get her to help me with some admin work instead...which will free up more of my time to do this sort of stuff.

So...all-in-all...this move so far has been a lesson to us that has made us focus on what's really important to us...instead of getting hung up over chasing money.

2. How to lose $150,000 by ignoring your intuition...

I caught the end of a TV programme last night. In it a young couple are given a choice of three houses to choose from...and then, if they guess within £500 either side of its value...they get it for free! (It's called 'Hot Property' and it's on Channel 5 if you are in the UK).

Aside from having an interest in looking at the properties...my main 'thing' is watching as these couples go through the ups and downs of trying to decide on a price that they think the house is worth.

What was interesting last night was that as soon as the couple got into the car to go to the property and started to debate the price...straight away the guy said "I've been dreaming about £89,950 for some reason."

His girlfriend then said "Yeah - that's the figure I've got in my head as well!"

They then spent the rest of the journey talking up the figure to £91,950...as they thought that the house would be more expensive than the figure they first thought of etc etc.

Even still...the guy mentioned that he had this figure in his head...but the house was worth more than that...and 'wouldn't it be funny' if that's what the price of the house really was!

They got to the house. Got out of the car. The cheesy and annoying presenter (if you're in the UK - you'll know! lol)...writes down £91,950 on the board...and slowly reveals the price of the property that, if they get within £500 of...is theirs - free.

Guess what price it was? EXACTLY £89,950!

And, no...the guy wasn't laughing!

Now you may call that unlucky...I call it not listening to your intuition.

I DO Believe! (There You Go - I've Said It!)

I always say that whatever other people may tell you...life is NEVER just 'plain sailing'.

It's almost as if we NEED to take one step back every time that we take two forward...almost as a reminder that we should always consolidate where we are first before we move on.

And...that's exactly what happened to me today.

Our house move was going smoothly...and we even managed to deal with a possible glitch whilst we were on our vacation.

And then we found out that our buyer (and it seems...even his mortgage broker) lied about the position they were in!

We were told that he was renting his house out...and would be able to move in as quickly as we wanted to. Now...it turns out, he's putting his house on the market tomorrow!

So...we are practically back to 'square one' except that we are two weeks and almost $1,500 into the purchase of the house that we want.

So...the fun starts here...and it looks like we may be 'courting' buyers once again!

Just when we thought that we wouldn't have to keep our house that tidy again!

Of course, Lesley is seriously worried about the chance that she could lose her 'dream' home...although, naturally, I'm a little more philosophical (which of course annoys the hell out of her!)

I believe in the 'process'...so we'll just watch and see what will happen, won't we :-)

And Then The Arguments Began...

I hate to admit it...but I've proved myself right! lol

Getting back into this writing-almost-every-day habit after 16 days not doing a thing is a very difficult thing to do!

But...as I am a man who likes to 'walk his talk'...here I am!

Two things struck me from my two weeks away lounging on a sunbed by a swimming pool...

1. I don't need two weeks away any more!

Lesley always used to joke that it took me the first week to 'wind down' from my 9-5 work.

This time...I found that after about five days...I really NEEDED to use my brain!

I read a total of five books whilst I was away...but I realized that, because I have much more freedom during the week to do whatever I like...I don't need a 'break' away from work.

Why?

Well...because to me, work, well, isn't really work. And...therefore I don't really need a long break from it!

Now...I know that you probably aren't in a similar situation as me...but, if you fill as much time as you have control over with what you enjoy doing...then you'll find too that you don't really need a 'rest'.

So...it's only one week at a time in future, that's for sure!

Otherwise I miss trying to write this stuff for too long!

2. Why do people get so 'worked up' about so many things that shouldn't matter?

It's funny watching how people (even from many different countries) can still get stressed...despite not really having anything to get stressed about!

There were arguments, heated discussions...and even outright confrontations about...

- Sunbeds
- Towels
- Splashing
- Adults playing water polo in the childrens' pool
- Lack of cutlery in the restaurant
- Waiting for tables
- The quality (or lack of) of the 'snacks' (we were all-inclusive)
- The heat
- The reception staff
- The variety of the food
- The busyness of the airport
- The time it took to retrieve our baggage back in the UK

All-in-all...it's was quite funny to watch from a detached position like I was as 'mini-crises' evolved almost daily!

People were on holiday...yet were getting worked up about those silly little things that don't even warrant a second thought in my mind these days.

Why do they do it?

It's crazy to see holidays almost ruined over petty little things.

You may say that perhaps I was too laid back to let things like not being able to get a sunbed bother me.

But...

When you look at these sorts of things from the perspective I like to look at life...all I have to