Success...One Day At A Time

Do You Believe In Success Badly Enough?

It's been a while since I have written an article for you.

To tell you the truth, I haven't had time because I have been focusing on delivering to the subscribers of my "Our Wealth Partnership" newsletter.

I'm now at Issue 3 - and there is already over 3 hours of online seminars and 2 hours of teleseminars available on the site...all of which is designed to build on one another unlike any other self-improvement 'course' you have seen.

My subscribers now understand how I do what I do, why I do what I do, and how THEY can use that knowledge to make changes in THEIR lives.

If you ain't subscribed...you're missing out on making some seriously positive steps forward in your life this year.

But...I'm not going to force you. Only YOU know whether you want success badly enough to warrant investing only $24.97 a month to make it happen.

There are plenty of people out there who do, who I am bending over backwards to help.

Anyway...

Today I wanted to share something with you that has become more apparent the more subscribers I talk to...

Are YOU one of those people?

In my wealth newsletter...I share some of the little things that wealthy people do that enables them to live the life of their dreams.

One of them is that they don't compare themselves to other people.

They KNOW that, if they do, they will just end up finding something negative about themselves compared to the other person.

Sound familiar?

You see - all you need is one tiny little bit of self-doubt, and it can upset the entire balance of how you think and act.

Ever had a great idea that fires you up...then when someone tells you that it could never work - you end up all negative and deflated?

THAT'S what I mean!

Nothing has changed in the 'real world'. The idea STILL may be a great one, and YOU may still be the person to act on it - yet that little voice in your head is telling you that you can't now do it.

And all because you got ONE little piece of negative feedback!

I come across it all of the time when I speak to my subscribers on the phone.

Everyone I have spoken to so far is hugely talented, capable, and more than qualified to be whoever they aspire to be.

Yet, because they are looking for what might not work instead of what DOES, it just throws them off of the 'success scent' completely!

You CAN defeat that negative force in your life...but it isn't as simple as just chanting a few affirmations, or reading a self-improvement book.

Success ISN'T complicated...it's just challenging trying to change the direction of your thinking that has built up over a number of years.

But...it CAN be done. I know, because I get emails every day from my newsletter subscribers telling me that there is no way back to that negative life for them.

Only YOU know whether you want to wake up every day worrying about life, or if you want to wake up with a smile on your face and a spring in your step.

It's all down to YOU...but you MUST believe in yourself and your amazing talents first!

Overcoming Those Negative Influencers

Only a short entry this week...as I am busy preparing the first Online Seminar for the "Our Wealth Partnership" newsletter subscribers.

It's due on Monday, and it's called "What To Do When You’re Desperate For Money And Can’t See A Way Out Of It" - and it contains eight simple and practical steps to help anyone get out of a debt mindset.

If you're a OWP newsletter subscriber...look out for it on Monday!

Also...this is what you will learn from the newsletter itself, which is being mailed today:

- The one sentence that will change the way you look at wealth forever
- Why chasing goals can actually be harming your chances of success
- Why focusing on that big breakthrough is closing off opportunities that are better suited to you
- How one never-quoted paragraph of Napoleon Hill's can produce life-changing results for you
- How the financial secret of compounding interest can be used to change your mindset

I was on the phone for a total of four hours today to a couple of people who are certainly creating a successful life for themselves in completely different areas.

What struck me was that I came away from both conversations inspired to do more, and with some new ideas to focus on.

Could YOU say that about the communication you have with other people?

Maybe not.

You see...I actually restrict the people I come into contact with.

By doing this I ensure that I have control over who can have an input in my life.

For example...I never answer the phone unless it's to someone who has a pre-arranged appointment with me.

And...you guessed it...the ONLY way they can pre-arrange an appointment is if I want them to!

That way, I only end up speaking to (and often working with) people whom I have chosen to allow into my life.

No time-wasters. No moaners. No negative people.

My life's too short to allow those sort of people to take up my time.

YOU may not be able to control the people whom you come into contact with like me, but you certainly have a degree of choice over whether you ALLOW their influence into your life.

The office gossip or nosey neighbor may get on your nerves and you can never get away from them...but, if you really think about it, it is surprisingly easy to just nod your head - and let whatever they say just wash over you!

Even better is just not getting involved in the first place.

Negative people influence your life more than you think that they do...so be careful about whom you let into your head, and how often you let them!

Self Improvement Or Life Improvement? Only You Decide

Life has thrown me a very interesting couple of days this week.

On two separate occasions...I have lost important files, and in one of the cases, thanks to my hosting company, thousands of dollars of income.

That certainly didn't put me in a good mood, I can tell you.

Throw into the mix a 20-month old who has hit the terrible twos early, a 10-year-old who believes that her opinion is always the right one, and a wife whose patience is being 'challenged' by both of them - and it's an interesting time to work from home!

Here's a reminder of what those two 'little angels' look like:

Anyway...

I bet that YOU have been in similar situations...you know, where you go through a few days where you can't speak without an argument, or your relatives do something that winds your partner up, or where the kids just want to make you scream.

You see...ALL of us, by and large, have pretty similar things happen to us...

- We have interesting times in our relationships
- Things don't quite go as planned at work
- We have periods where we wonder what the point of it all is.
- We have 'bad things' happen to us...like losing loved ones, illness, accidents etc
- We might often have money worries in the back of our mind.

Sound familiar?

Yeh...thought so!

I don't about YOU...but I've had ALL of those things happen in my life over the last couple of years at different times.

And I expect that I will have more of them in the future too...whether I want them or not.

You see...as you and I are only human...we can't help but attract these sorts of things into our lives.

Even the most motivated people have challenging things happen to them.

(If they tell you otherwise then they're liars!).

It's because...even with the best will in the world...we CAN'T 100% of the time be forward looking, positive people.

Life and its challenges see to that.

But...

It's how myself and Lesley managed to deal with losing Connor at only four-and-a-half...and it's made us better, and more positive people because of it.

Even the most guru-est of gurus have challenges in their lives.

It may not be in the public eye...but there are many stories of bankruptcies, messy divorces, alcholism, drug abuse, and depression that never come out about some of the most successful and famous people in the world.

You only have to look in the history books to find examples of hugely successful people (who were once viewed as positive role-models) to prove this point.

Remember...

1 - Accept that 'life is sh*t' and complain about how unlucky you are (and therefore attract more crap into your life because of it).

or

2 - Accept that YOU are 100% responsible for your current situation - whether you believe it or not, and it is ONLY YOU who can move yourself forward from where you are by focusing on how you view what is happening to you...

And then do SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Sure...'bad things happen to good people'.

But...quite often, these 'bad things' are the very things that turn peoples' lives around as they use them as springboards to make sure that they make the most of their lives.

So, yes...you ARE allowed to have bad days.

But...don't going turning them into 'bad lives'.

You're too special and talented to allow yourself waste this amazing opportunity called life.

Tomorrow begins YOUR new life, free of the mental pressures that you put yourself under 'because...'

Use it as an opportunity to move on...and make the most of just being YOU...without all that 'baggage' that has followed you around for too long!

Thinking Your Way To Inspired Action

It's not every day that you will find me up at 5:30am and sitting at my computer in my study.

Yet...today, I seem strangely inspired to make an early start before I have to get Katie ready for school, and before little Skye starts to demand 100% of my attention.

Inspiration often comes from the most unlikely of places!

Perhaps it's also because I'm a little psyched-up because I've set myself a challenge.

You see, in September, I'm speaking (as Gary Smith!) at top Internet marketer Yanik Silver's Underground Online Seminar - perhaps one of THE highest profile internet seminars this year.

And...I've decided that I'm going to do a completely new presentation about my Adsense success than the only one I have done previously back in February.

Not only that...on the night before the seminar, I've decided to arrange a Master Mind meeting with the participants of my limited Adsense Mentor Program - at which I've already told people that I will be sharing some of my newest ideas and programs that I'm working on.

Thing is...many of these ideas are either still in the concept or 'spec' stage!

Funny thing though...I also KNOW that I will deliver on my 'promises'. No question in my mind.

And...whether you are in the UK or not, if you are remotely interested in coming to the Underground Seminar - then YOU will be invited to my closed-door pre-seminar Master Mind meeting, too.

I know many of the speakers (and a lot of the attendees, to!), and can certainly say that it will be a great seminar.

Which leads me onto something that has fascinated me for some time...

How is it that one day you can be fired up - yet the next just not being bothered to do anything?

Even if you love what you do like I do!

I've given this some thought recently as, over the last month or so, I have been a lot more creative than usual...and a lot less interested in just doing stuff for the sake of doing it.

Sure - external influences like friends and family play a part in this.

Anyone who is on the receiving end of a verbal volley from my darling wife, Lesley will certainly NOT be in a motivated mood for a while! I know, I've been there too often!

For example...if I sit there and think 'I've got this to do, that to do, I need to speak to this person' - then I often find it difficult to motivate myself to get things done.

Yet...if I sit there and think 'Wow...now THIS is an interesting thing to do that I haven't seen done before, or I wonder what will happen if I try this?' - then immediately my brain kicks into gear and I'm off and running.

But...

In both cases - I could be thinking about the SAME project - and yet am able to get a different result (ie taking inspired action) just by looking at it in a different way.

Also...if you're feeling sorry for yourself because you're too busy then immediately you're going to stifle an such action.

But...if you are challenged because you have got so many interesting things on the go - then you're going to want to get up early like I did today!

Now, you may be thinking - 'That's fine, Gary...but what about those mundane things that I have to do, how can I get inspired about them?'

Well...THAT discussion will be for NEXT week!

Your Time Is Now...

Having spent most of the last week in pain - it reminded me that it's easy to take things for granted.

I cannot tell you how great it felt the other night being able to just go to bed and be able to lie down and go to sleep with having to sit up, in pain, until I was tired enough to drop off to sleep.

Yet - by the time the next night came around - it was just a case of getting into bed as usual - 'so what'?

It's easy to forget what YOU have got going for you if YOU really think about it.

Many of the worries you may have are probably based either on what has happened in the past - or around what you THINK might happen in the future!

All of which shouldn't really matter when RIGHT NOW is concerned!

Often it takes the loss of something to make you realize how valuable and special it was to you in the first place.

YOU have talents and skills that you take for granted - which other people would gladly wish they had.

Don't wait until circumstances make it difficult (or seemingly impossible) to make the most of them.

YOUR time is NOW - never, ever, forget that!

Join Me As A Positive Junkie!

Let's face it...there are a lot of things on your mind, aren't there?

Thoughts about work.
Thoughts about your relationship with your family.
Thoughts about your bank account balance.
Thoughts about your credit cards.
Thoughts about that thing you saw in the store that you'd love to have.
Thoughts about how you can make more of your life without telling other people that you are interested in 'self-improvement' because of how they would react.

In fact...the thoughts you are having right now are probably taking up too much of your time, and, instead of motivating you to greater things are probably just stressing you out, right?

Life has a funny habit of cluttering up if you let it, and usually, it's full of ALL the wrong stuff!

So let's get one thing straight.

Stop thinking about what you shouldn't be thinking about!

(Yeh right, Gary - just like you saying 'Stop thinking of an elephant' - you just CAN'T!)

Well, of course, you're right, but it shouldn't stop you.

I firmly believe that if you DID stick your head in the sand and ignored your 'problems' - I very much doubt that it would help you much.

BUT...that's no reason for you to accept second best in your life.

We ALL have problems, issues, challenges, bad times, down times, arguments, stress, and even a little bit of anger.

Welcome to the life of a normal human being!

The key to YOUR success is how you handle these issues.

You can either treat them as huge problems that constantly cloud your life - or - you can look at them as temporary 'blips' or challenges that, once overcome, will benefit with new wisdom for years to come.

Personally, I'm trying to fill my mind as much as I can with positive stuff - positive thinking, viewpoints, speech, action, and experiences.

Even my walk back from taking to school every day is filled with positive thoughts as I work my way through more of the 100 hours of self-improvement audios I've already paid for. (I'm on hour 36, just in case you were interested - though I'm constantly adding to those 100 hours!).

And yet - my preferred method of learning is via reading (which I do every day - without fail.)

I find it a challenge to listen to audios, and I can't listen whilst I work at my PC. So - when I walk back from school, my Ipod is on.

I even surprised Lesley last week when I volunteered to do the weekly grocery shop - because it allows me at least an hour of learning as I walk!

Before I bought all of those audios - I had hours of wasted time that I was left alone with my own thoughts (even though most of them tend to be positive).

Yet - in 4 months or so - I have managed to listen to a day and a half of positive, thought-provoking, and challenging material. Time, in effect, that I have found from 'nowhere'.

Now, of course, my methods may not work for you. We're both different, you and I, that's for sure!

But...YOU need to find some way, somehow, to get some positive input into your head - even if you don't go away and apply it! (Yes, I know - I'm asking you to break one of my cardinal rules!)

The benefit to this is that your brain will automatically attract more of what you're thinking about. Just as it did when you began to see more of the same make and model car as yours when you purchased a new one.

Or when you suddenly noticed pregnant women everywhere when your baby was due.

This stuff, flat out, WORKS.

And...it doesn't HAVE to be complicated - no matter what the 'gurus' may tell you.

So...find something positive to get into your head - and just use it to get in the way of those other, not-so-positive, thoughts.

If you're putting good stuff in then that means that you will, if only for short periods at a time, push the negative stuff away.

And...in effect, you will begin progressing at TWICE the speed because, instead of being held back by negative thinking, you will be pushing forward thanks to your new positive outlook on life.

Try it for a few weeks and see.

Once you get into a habit of absorbing positive stuff everyday - then you'll find that you'll want to carry on.

Your time is NOW.

It's time to join me as a POSITIVE JUNKIE!

I Just Want To Feel...

As you may well have noticed...over the last few months I have been writing to you less and less.

Now...I'm a feelings person - and absolutely turn away from doing things that I FEEL that I'm not inspired to do.

Recently - I HAVE been inspired...but not to write!

Whereas in the past - I felt inspired to write practically every single day for two years!

That's not to say that I now don't have much to say...far from it...but most of what I NEED to say is directed internally - which pushes me to further my boundaries in ways I have never done so before.

So...where do YOU fit in with all this?

After all - you're reading because you (I hope) want to hear what I have to say and how it can help you.

Yet...I'm not contacting you as much as I did in the past.

To be completely honest...I'm not contacting ANYONE as much as I did in the past!

It has come to the point where I don't want to contact you because I feel that I SHOULD...or because an edition of this ezine is due on a specific day.

So...nowadays I only want to contact you when I FEEL that I have something useful to say that may help - said from the heart - rather than just because I 'had' to.

Anyway...enough about ME - let's talk about YOU!

How ARE you doing?

Is life treating as well as you hope?

Are you HAPPY with your 'lot' at the moment?

These sorts of questions are simple...but their answers usually are a LOT more complicated!

Yet...

It all comes down to one major thing...

How do you FEEL - right NOW?

(Get THAT one spot-on all day every day, and you'll be really living and enjoying life, that's for sure.)

You see...whatever thoughts you may have about what you may or may not have done in the past...

Whatever worries you may have about what may happen in your future...

Making the most of this life of ours comes down to one little sentence...but one HUGE life-changing statement...

How DO you FEEL - right NOW?

Of course...it's not always easy to make yourself feel great when there are worries lurking there in the back of your mind - built up over the years from what I call 'positivity-neglect'.

And...anyone who tells you that they DON'T have even the tiniest worries in their lives are liars. (After all - if you don't have the 'bad' how do you know what 'good' is, right?).

So...is there an easy way to get some of that GOOD feeling out?

Well...here's one for me for a start...

Seeing your kids or spouse genuinely happy is always a great way to feel GOOD - even just for a few moments.

Then...once you get more practice at LOOKING for those FEEL-good moments - it's easier to find them.

Here's one of the views from where I aim to go for a 30 minute walk every day if I can...

(I usually just perch myself on one of those jutting out concrete 'steps' at the bottom for a few minutes after my walk)

Sure...it's not as picturesque as some places...but the sea breeze certainly blows those moody cobwebs away I can tell you!

I've found that just going for a nice slow walk away from everything and everyone works wonders for my peace of mind.

The key to getting the most out of it is NOT to dwell on the could'ves, should'ves, might-have-beens, or whys...

Instead - make sure that you focus ONLY on your surroundings...and on the POSITIVES like...

- What you will FEEL like when you achieve a specific outcome in your life
- What makes you FEEL inspired and happy
- What it FELT like when something went well for you in the past
- How it FEELS to just leave all the stress somewhere else and just ENJOY where you are right NOW.

Of course...you may not have a beach to wander to like me.

A nice park in your lunch hour will do the trick just the same.
A walk to shops via a different route can be just as inspiring.
Maybe a car journey to somewhere you have never been before.
Just laying on a sun lounger in the garden will work just as well.

Remember - physically getting away from it all isn't the important thing - it's how FEEL when you are there - wherever 'there' is - that's what's really important.

So...how are YOU going to get to that place where YOU can feel BETTER - even for a few minutes?

So...What DOES Make You Happy?

I hope that you had a happy and restful holiday period.

I certainly did a lot less 'work' than usual thanks to the combination of lack of sleep thanks to new baby Skye, and the free-for-all that is Christmas and New Year.

So...writing this stuff has taken a back seat as I am the sort of person who thrives on challenging himself to learn and do new things - and over the last few months I've certainly been doing that in terms of my online adventures.

Also...I'm practicing being the hands-on dad to Skye like I was with Connor (and missed with Katie) - and it has reminded me of where my priorities should always lie.

Also...things like the Tsunami in Asia, horrific as they are, provide us all with the opportunity to realize that perhaps our lives aren't THAT bad really, are they?

It's just a shame that it takes things like this and 9/11 to make people wake up to the fact that there are far more important things to life than accumulating stuff and worrying about what other people like of us!

This time of year always makes me reflective as opposed to looking forward.

I've made and broken so many resolutions over the years that (like you, I expect) they don't really MEAN anything anymore.

So...based on my experiences over the last year (where I get involved in too many things that didn't benefit me in the ways I wanted) - I have decided to focus my efforts in more streamlined ways.

So...instead of writing practically daily as I used to, I am now reading and applying more in my life - so that I can 'deliver' a better result for YOU in terms of what I say.

I've said many times before that it's easy to get into a rut of doing things 'just because' - so this year you will undoubtedly be hearing from my less as I focus more on the 80/20 side of my working life.

Having said that - I still have a few very interesting things in various stages of development that might interest you as the year progresses - and in the next few weeks I will be asking you what YOU would like to see more of in the future.

It's so easy to get lost in the 'me-too' crowd online, especially when writing about motivation as I do.

When I started online almost 3 years ago - I decided that I would be different in terms of what I would do and say.

If you've been reading what I've written since then, hopefully you'll agree that I have gone a little way to being that.

BUT...

Not sufficiently enough to really stand out from the increasing crowd.

So...this year my direction will be more focused. On the spiritual side of life. On the focus side of life...and on how to just be plain happy on a daily basis!

After all...who knows when the next 'wave' will hit, in whatever shape or form.

Being miserable ruins something very precious...something that is worth more than any amount - time.

So...let's start from the beginning.

What makes YOU happy...and how can you do MORE of it?

We Only Get ONE Chance...

Motivation is a funny thing.

One minute you could be 'firing on all cylinders'...the next you're drowning in the depths of despair and feeling sorry for yourself.

It's easy to forget that life itself is ALWAYS made up of 'ups and downs'. Rough and smooth. Hot and cold. Easy and difficult. Feeling ill and bursting with energy.

It's easy to focus on the negative stuff...so much so that quite often you can easily miss the 'good' stuff.

Are YOU missing out on the good stuff because you perhaps don't even realize that it's there?

You wouldn't be alone if you did.

I'm sorry to say that too many people just seem to 'shuffle' through life - just 'going through the motions' - counting the work days until they retire.

But wait!

Aren't WE here to EXPERIENCE and ENJOY life?

Shouldn't we be making the most of what we're good at - instead of looking at improving what we obviously are never going to be that good at.

And forever falling short and feeling miserable because of it!

The material things in life begin to mean a lot less when you compare them to being able to wake up in the morning without a fear of dread (I know - I've had both - and I know which I prefer!)

So...why not CHOOSE to make YOUR life something more, well, happy and FUN?

We only get ONE chance at every short second we have on this Earth.

Isn't it worth making the most of every single one you have?

How To React To Your 'Off-Days'

We all suffer from lack of motivation every now and again.

Anyone who doesn't is a liar!

But...it's not the fact that some days we can't be bothered...what's important is how we DEAL with those days.

It's easy to let the day turn into a week...and the week into a month.

The key is to LET yourself have days where you may not quite be firing on 'all cylinders'.

Yep. The problems only really start when you talk yourself into believing that you are depressed/fed-up/miserable/bored.

What if your mind actually NEEDED a day away from going a hundred miles an hour?

What if your mind actually NEEDED some time away from 'working' so that it could spend time to process what you've been learning non-stop since the day you were born.

Now...I'm certainly NOT giving you an excuse to feel sorry for yourself.

Nor am I suggesting that you just let those 'I can't be bothered' days take over your life.

Not for one moment!

The biggest problem with what we do in life is how we REACT to what we do.

For example...I KNOW that I will have some days that are less productive (and positive) than others.

But...I also KNOW that there will be a day around the corner (if not tomorrow) where I will be on top form - so I don't beat myself up about TODAY!

(easier said than done, of course...but at least I'm getting you thinking about how you REACT to those sorts of days, aren't I?

If you constantly worry about WHY you aren't feeling 100% focused...then guess what more of you're going to get?

That's right - more not-so-100% days!

So...just ALLOW yourself the OCCASIONAL 'off day'.

Just make sure that you make the most of the ON days when they come around - and appreciate what you CAN really achieve when you're really going for it!

Just Tell It To Shut Up!

I'm not ashamed to say that I get voices inside my head!

Well...OK...perhaps not voices, plural...just a voice, singular.

And you do, too, right?

(Please say yes!)

Now...this voice of mine is constantly directing me towards doing new things (as well as reminding me of things that I perhaps should have done better in the past!)

The trouble is that, most of the time...it is a challenge to get this voice to view things positively!

You know what I mean, don't you?

Do have that self-same problem?

Well...I used to listen to the negative voice a lot more than I do now.

In fact...I just tell it to 'shut up'!

I know that my little voice can be used one of two ways - for good, constructive comments - or for bad, negative ones.

And...I also know that whichever one I hear the most of literally INFECTS the other type for ages after I focus on it.

Sometimes it seems as if there is a 'negative virus' going around inside my head as I battle to see the positive in some situations.

Tell me you've been there too, haven't you?

The trick is to ALWAYS laugh in the face of that voice that tells you why you can't do something.

After all...how could it possibly KNOW that you can't if you have never even attempted it?

You see - that voice is based upon your PREVIOUS experiences up to this very second.

So...it stands to reason that it is BOUND to try to convince that you aren't able to do more than you ever have before...just because it doesn't BELIEVE that YOU can!

Except...I DO believe that I can.

And...YOU should BELIEVE that you CAN, too.

That voice is there to make sure that you have a sense of reality in your life based upon what you KNOW.

Yet...based on my experience...it's what you don't YET know that could be holding you back.

For example...if I personally hadn't challenged that voice over the last couple of years - I would never have learned the completely NEW skills that I found that I had a talent for all along.

I wonder how many 'new' skills YOU have...that you haven't yet come across - just because your voice is telling you that you could never BE the sort of person who has them.

Except now YOU (and not that voice) KNOW different, don't you?

They Do Not Have To Live YOUR life, Do They?

Never underestimate what you can achieve in life!

Are YOU one of those people who truly believe that you couldn't be like someone you really admire?

When all is said and done...it's pointless trying to BE like them.

After all - YOU are NOT them!

But...many 'ordinary' people achieve almost 'extraordinary' things purely because they refused to accept what they were given.

They refused to accept that they COULD do more with their life than the next person.

In short...they refused to believe someone else's 'impossible'!

Are YOU persuaded my OTHER people that you may not be good enough to do what you would REALLY like to?

These 'dream stealers' may truly have your best interests at heart but...

They do not have to live YOUR life, do they?

So...next time you feel inspired to do something that other people may not think that you are qualified or able to do, just stop and think for a little bit.

What if they had NEVER told you that they didn't think that you were capable...wouldn't you STILL be as 'fired up' about really going for it as you were before?

So...live YOUR life on YOUR terms.

After all...it's the ONLY one you've got!

Stop! Don't Think Your Way To Failure!

It's such a shame that there are so many people just plain angry in this world.

They take pleasure in trying to trip people up...talk down to them...and generally try to upset them.

Over the last couple of days on my UK internet marketing forum - there has been one person who has purposely gone out of their way to insult, belittle, and generally put down other people who geniunely are trying to do something with their lives.

It's a shame that this person doesn't realize that they are their own worst enemy!

If we take it back to the very basic 'trait' of ALL successful people...

"You become what you think about"

...then this person is constantly focusing on the negative side of life...then wonders why there are other people who are more 'fortunate' than they are.

So...in a way, they're constantly focusing on the very things they want to move away from.

The sad thing is that this sort of negative mentality is so widespread.

There are SO many people who don't get that whenever you try to do something to someone else...you're really doing it to yourself in the long run!

The GOOD guys DO win...but because quite often it takes a long time for the circle to close on those negative people...we believe that being 'nice' to other people is not the best way to a successful life.

I KNOW different...but it took me a few years to work out that I COULD be successful in this way.

ANY form of negative thinking...whether directed at OTHER people...or, perhaps even worse...at YOURSELF, is only paving a path to somewhere that you don't really want to go.

And anyway...life's too short to spend it miserable.

Though, I agree that sometimes...it IS a challenge to rise above the seeming majority who believe otherwise!

It's Never Too Late To Choose...

Ever get the feeling that you wished there was MORE to your life?

Ever wonder what it would be like to REALLY do what you want?

Now...I'll stop before I begin to sound like some sales pitch for some 'get rich quick' business opportunity!

But...isn't it terrible to literally 'wish' your life away like that?

I've discovered that all this chasing stuff is often the WORST thing that you could do.

Plus...wishing for something doesn't necessarily lead you to actually DO something about going for it...so you just end up with negative experiences from the whole thing.

But...it doesn't have to be like that!

It all comes down to how you view what goes on in your life.

Your ability to enjoy life is not based around what happens...but on how your VIEW what happens!

For example...one person could be totally inspired by something that would totally demotivate someone else...yet, what happened physically was exactly the same.

It was how they PERCEIVED what happened that was the crucial thing.

I guarantee that you can either use as an excuse, or take strength from, the SAME things that happen in your life.

It would have been SO easy to blame circumstances for my 'failure'...but instead I CHOSE to be INSPIRED by what happened to me and actually DO something about it.

I've never looked back since I made that decision, believe me.

Take a look at where you are at the moment.

Is it what you VIEW your situation to be that is getting to you?

It DOES take a mindset-shift to see that perhaps things could be different...if you look at them differently...and it's never too late to actually TRY to see situations for what they REALLY could be.

Opportunities!

Yes, that's right. EVERY situation, however dire it may seem...is an OPPORTUNITY to learn and build from.

You may disagree with me...but I KNOW it to be true because of how life has 'treated' me in the past!

Too many people place the blame on their situation...when in fact...it's their VIEW of their situation that is the problem.

And...it's never too late to CHOOSE to see it differently!

It's ALWAYS Up To YOU!

This will be the last post I will ever write.

And...

You're either disappointed, not bothered...or happy (in which case - why are you reading this!)

OK. I lied.

Me - stop writing? Yeah - right!

But...did you see how I got a reaction from YOU in just 10 words...words that I typed in perhaps days before you are even reading this?

I didn't even have to SAY them - yet - in some form, small or large - I got a REACTION from YOU!

That's why I LOVE the Internet.

But...did you notice how little old me CAN influence YOU through my words alone?

Now...I'm not trying to be clever here...I just want you to be aware of something VERY important.

If I can influence YOU with MY written words...how much do you think that what YOU are THINKING influences what you DO?

Remember...you are a LOT closer to you than I am!

And...you've got a lot of prejudices about what YOU are capable of built up through years of experience.

Holding you back. Telling you that you couldn't possibly do...........

So you see...that's why you need to be careful with what you fill your mind with.

Why?

Well...because if you are constantly affecting your emotions and actions through BAD thinking...then you're not going to give some of those GOOD thoughts an opportunity to turn your life around.

And...if you remember your reaction to the first sentence of this entry - you'll now KNOW that you can what YOU feel in a split second...which then can impact on the rest of your day (if not your life!)

So...in what ways are you NOW going to start doing something about this POSITIVE thinking stuff...and actually start seeing the results of it?

As I always say - success is all in YOUR mind.

It's up to YOU. It's ALWAYS up to YOU!

How DO You Get Nowhere?

Are you chasing your tail?

Do you feel as if you are just going around in circles?

Life can be like that sometimes, can't it?

The thing is...most of the time...you THINK that you are, when in fact you may have actually been progressing in some way!

The crucial thing is that, if something doesn't quite go according to plan...you LEARN from it.

If you can do that...and not make the same 'mistake' again...then you ARE making progress, aren't you?

Isn't there now one MORE thing you now know that you didn't?

Isn't there now one LESS thing that could 'go wrong'?

Life is all about the ups and downs.

It's how you REACT to the downs that prepares you for a successful future...not how many ups you have!

Your mind is constantly looking to find ANSWERS to the QUESTIONS you are putting to it (i.e. what you THINK about!)

So...if you are consistently feeding it with 'how do I get nowhere' questions...then guess is what it will TRY and seek out for you?

So...stop WORRYING about the 'why'...and start focusing on what you can DO...and how you react to what doesn't go according to plan.

But...you MUST start focusing on RESULTS instead of defeat!

Riding On The Waves Of Misfortune

Let's face it...you're never going to get things your own way!

No THAT'S out of the way...let's look at why it can be GOOD for things not to always go to plan!

How?

Well...I guarantee that, if you succeeded at EVERYTHING you do...you wouldn't really LEARN much.

You's just take it for granted that 'x' worked...but wouldn't have had the experience of trying to MAKE it work in the first place!

The key to moving forward in life is NOT how many victories you have...it's how you use your (temporary) defeats to strengthen your understanding about how YOU work.

And...the more you know about YOU...the easier it will be to motivate yourself to do something!

And...unless you do something...you're not going to get very far, are you?

So - it ALL comes down to how well you ride those 'waves of misfortune' (don't they always seem to come in waves?).

In an ideal world we would never have days that try us...push us...challenge us...or perhaps evern upset us.

But...we DO...and it's therefore critical that you understand that a) you WILL have them, and b) how you handle them when they come along.

The biggest leaps forward I have made, both on a business and a mental level, were on the back of supposed 'failures' that just forced me to go in a different direction.

And...it's only with retrospect that I've realized that I didn't really want to go in the original direction anyway!

In the mentime...you need to 'roll with the punches' and accept that you are given these challenges for a very good REASON...

To make you STRONGER...and more capable of success!

You Need To Just Give Up!

Every once in a while you need to give up.

Hold on. Did Gary just say that I should give up?

Well...yes...but not what you think!

Every once in a while you should just give up being YOU!

What do I mean by this?

Well...as it's YOU that is currently stopping you from getting to where you want to go - then, wouldn't YOU be better off 'out of the picture'?

That's fine...but how?

You need to STOP listening to YOU telling yourself that you...

- Aren't good enough
- Aren't talented enough
- Aren't clever enough
- Aren't confident enough

Need I go on?

If I'm brutally honest...it's all a load of ****. (substitute a strong word of your choice in there!)

You see...I used to 'suffer' from terrible self-confidence because I didn't BELIEVE!

I didn't believe that nobody really cared if I was perfect. I didn't believe that nobody wouldn't turn up their noses at my attempts at talking positively.

And...worst of all...I didn't believe that I could make a DIFFERENCE.

Just like YOU can.

But first you need to get over this opinion that YOU are not 'x' enough!

Who cares!

'x' enough compared to whom?

NOBODY is perfect...and if you've seen enough husband and wife combinations - you'll KNOW that what some people find attractive completely turn off others!

So...just GIVE UP being YOU for a little while...and just be SOMEBODY.

Somebody who CAN make a difference...and achieve so much more than they've ever dreamed of.

That Terrible Mindset That Gets In The Way Of Your Success

Whatever targets you expect to achieve...double them, and you will be much closer to what YOU are REALLY capable of!

I know...because I certainly have far exceeded my 'success' expectations that I set myself before I started my online journey.

It's not always easy to take a leap of faith and really BELIEVE in yourself and your abillities...but, unless YOU do...it's highly unlikely that others will.

And...without OTHER people...you will be limiting your chances of long-term success.

Going-it-alone works up to a point.

And...that point is when you realize that there are only so many hours in the day for you to live a life that fulfils you.

Yet...you CAN still work smarter and not necessarily harder.

Get rid of the 'clutter stuff' that hasn't been done for a while...that sits in the back of your mind clogging up precious mental real estate.

You know...those things that you KNOW that you SHOULD do...yet always keep putting off.

That's always an excellent first step.

The next is to invest in your mind.

Without a positive, focused outlook on what you want from life...then all of the dreams, goals, aspirations, targets and everything else will always be one step away from you.

It's not until you free yourself from that mental 'kidology' that you realize that you CAN do whatever you CHOOSE to do...provided, of course...that you take some ACTION.

Becoming successful is simple. It's getting out of that terrible mindset that you have been programmed with that is the difficult part.

Yet...it IS possible...but only if you TRY!

Are You Dwelling On The Why Instead Of Looking At The How?

Confidence can be a hard thing to come by when the only way you can see is no way out.

But...that is the BEST time to really push yourself and do something different.

There's a saying in the business world that the BEST time to advertise is when everyone else isn't because of a recession.

It sets you apart as a business that MEANS business...and it should mean MORE business for you because you have fewer competitors advertising at the same time as you.

And...that's why YOU should look UPWARDS when things seem to be getting worse...instead of dwelling on why they got that way in the first place!

You mind automatically tunes itself into what your dominant thoughts are...and then taps into the "Universe" to start to find people, coincidences, and 'luck' your way in order to make whatever you think about become your reality.

So...if you are consistently dwelling on the WHY instead of looking at the HOW - then guess what you're going to get more of?

Of course it's not easy to be positive when things aren't going well.

You'll usually find that, in the long term, the BEST things for you need a little work sometimes!

Take heart from the fact that, whatever situation you are currently in...someone, somewhere, has been in worse...got out of it...and ended up living the life of their dreams.

Yes...they DID!

So...stop feeling sorry for yourself...and start looking at what ACTION you can take which will begin to turn your thinking around.

It may welll be hard...but it WILL be worth it!

Thinking Of A Way Out...Or Why You Found A Way In?

No matter what happens in your life...you will certainly EXPERIENCE it!

There isn't a magic wand that I could wave to make your life perfect...especially when 'perfect' doesn't really exist!

We are a product of experiences...and both the good and the bad shape us into who we are.

Take me, for example.

If I hadn't been through some of the horrendous experiences with Connor...I wouldn't be the sort of person that I am today.

And...you certainly wouldn't be reading this now!

Out of the bad...DOES come good...believe it...it DOES!

I never for one moment would have said that I could write (ever). Now look at me...I found a talent that I didn't know that I had - and ONLY because I wanted to find a way out from the miserable existence I had a couple of years ago.

So...wherever YOU are...whatever YOU are doing...you CAN do stuff that you would never dream that you could do!

Honest!

It all begins with your THOUGHTS, of course.

The core foundation for ANY successful person - whatever their definition of successful may be...is that they are ALWAYS thinking of a way OUT - rather than thinking of WHY they found a way IN!

Get the picture?

Some of the biggest challenges that I have had in MY life would easily have 'broken' me (well...they almost did!)...unless I had taken the view that I was MORE than who I currently was back then.

And...so are YOU, too!

Stop Worrying And Start Living!

It's easy to let little things get you down.

I've realized over the last few years that the BIGGEST arguments (OK - differences of opinion) that I have with Lesley are based on RIDICULOUSLY tiny things!

I've bet if you've been married more than the 'honeymoon period' - you'll understand what I mean!

It's EASY to automatically think that the BIG things are wrong when in fact your judgment may be clouded over the little things!

Sure...all of these little 'issues' or 'problems' can mount up and become a compouned 'monster' much bigger than the sumn of its parts.

But...only if YOU let it!

It's not easy to step back...and look at the little things for what they are - LITTLE THINGS!

Each one most certainly is separate from each other...and, usually with hindsight...isn't really as big as you think it is.

Sometimes...you just have to 'roll with the punches' and just keep going...even though it feels that you can't take any more.

I've got news for you - YOU can!

But...you must STOP worrying about the 'WHY'...and focus instead on turning your thinking around to the positive and start yourself working towards the 'HOW' you can take ACTION.

If you are mentally defeated before you start...then, no matter what you do...you'll NEVER turn it around.

Hate to say it...but it's true.

Someone's got to tell YOU.

So...as the great Dale Carnegie once said (and wrote a book about) -

"Stop Worrying And Start Living!"

Are You Using The Wrong Measure Of Success?

Never forget that your success is only relative.

It is relative in the sense that you will measure your success in relation to those people you know.

Which is why so many people are MISERABLE!

It's human nature to compare ourselves unfavorably against others.

It's almost as if we have a "I'm never going to be as good as 'x' " mechanism in our heads!

Once you begin comparing yourself to against other people...you immediately are putting yourself on a NEGATIVE footing!

So...DON'T DO IT!

Take me, for example.

I KNOW for a fact that I earn less money than one of my brothers.

The natural reaction would be for me to consider myself a failure in the financial stakes compared to him.

But...I don't.

Why?

Well...even though I earn LESS money than him...I am much MORE successful than he is!

How can that be?

Well...he is constantly working and getting stressed out as he chases even more money.

I work almost when I choose to, I spend a lot of time with Lesley and Katie, my 'work' is not work to me...more of a challenging hobby, and despite everything that has happened to me over the last few years my life is happy, stress-free, and relatively relaxed.

Now...it's down to your own interpretation of success as to whose life you would rather have.

MY definition of success is measured in the terms of what I get OUT of life...not how much money I can spend.

So...if I compare myself to my brother...on my terms...I am certainly a LOT more successful than he is...despite our different incomes.

It's just a shame that more people don't look at success in this way.

Do YOU?

You'll Never Know What Asking Can Do For You

If you don't ask...you don't get!

Or perhaps more accurately...you'll never find the answer if you don't ask the question.

I asked a question yesterday...and, within 24 hours...have now solved a 'problem' that I was trying to solve for the last few months.

All because I asked the question!

Do YOU ask questions?

Now...I've certainly been there (and, sometimes - I STILL am there!)...but, since I really thought about why I NEED to ask questions...I realized that we all too easily focus on a POSSIBLE negative reaction, and forget about the chances of a POSSIBLE positive reaction!

I'm of the opinion that the worse that can happen if I ask is that the other person says 'No'.

Sure...you might come across the odd person who might belittle you for asking a 'stupid' question...but, to be honest, almost everyone wouldn't mind answering a genuine question.

Especially if you frame it in a way that makes them look clever!

Over the last year or so...I have saved a few hundred dollars on my moving costs...I've not gone to some event that I didn't really want to...and now, I've managed to sort out a big thing for my business.

All because I asked!

If I hadn't asked...then I certainly wouldn't have GAINED any of those things.

Do you fear the how the other person may respond to you?

It's easily done.

But...the MORE you ASK questions...the more answers you GET...the LESS worried you get about the answer.

Even if I get a 'no'...at least I know that I am just a little closer to finding out what I need.

So...go ahead and try it...you never know what ASKING can do for you!

Failure? Or Is It?

It's not always easy to face up to 'failure'.

That horrible feeling in the pit of you stomach when something goes 'wrong' is certainly not a nice one, is it?

But...it doesn't HAVE to be that way!

You see, quite often...it's how we PERCEIVE what has happened that is the problem...not what ACTUALLY happened!

From my own experience...I KNOW that there CAN be a positive that you can take from almost ANY situation.

Of course, not literally in terms of it happening being a good thing...but what sort of person it made you into, or how it made you appreciate life more - those sorts of things.

Most people struggle to see the good in ANYTHING!

When you go through life assuming the worst - then guess what's going to 'come true'?

In both my personal and business life, I REGULARLY don't have things go the way I want them to.

Do I get bitter? Do I curse my luck? Do I 'blame' other people?

Nope.

I just look at what I can LEARN from the situation so that I NEVER make the same 'mistake' again!

Sure, it can hurt. Sure, it can sometimes be unpleasant.

But...you'll be surprised at how many of my 'failures' were in retrospect, blessings in disguise...but ONLY because I turned them to my ADVANTAGE.

So...next time YOU think that you've failed...look for what you can learn from it.

Are You Building A Negative Collage?

Like the seasons change every year...I can guarantee that you are going to have some good days...and some bad days.

We ALL do.

But...it's how you treat those 'bad days' that will determine how many more of them you will have in the future.

Whether you like it or not...you mind is constantly looking for 'matches' for the input it receives.

It doesn't want to have re-process everything it is given from scratch...so it just goes out and finds the best 'match' and then builds a picture from there.

Of course...this happens in milliseconds.

But...what this means is that, as your mind is constantly looking for related experiences from your past...it can't help but find them!

So...if you are spending your days worrying about being stressed or about how little money you have...guess what emotions, feelings, and experiences your mind is going to automatically hunt down for you?

It can't help it.

So...if you are CONSTANTLY thinking negative thoughts...you are automatically building up and entire COLLAGE of previous negative thoughts...all related to each other!

But...think about it for a moment.

If you start LOOKING for, and THINKING about, the complete opposite guess what your mind is going to link to?

That's right - GOOD stuff!

You mind can help but keep itself FULL.

Try NOT thinking for a moment. It's almost impossible, isn't it?

So...start by trying to FILL your mind with the GOOD stuff - you know - stuff like looking for the positive in 'bad' situations...or about how you CAN achieve something (rather than looking at why you can't).

Try it.

You'll be amazed at how, over time, you won't be able to stop yourself from taking the positive viewpoint on EVERYTHING!

I know from personal experience that it works!

Are You Living To Someone Else's Agenda?

Who would have guessed that a guy like me who couldn't even manage to write a diary is able to write every day?

I would have laughed at you in August 2001 if you had told me that, just 30 months later...I would be doing this.

Back then...I was on anti-depressants, constantly stressed through juggling looking after Connor with working abroad for almost 6 days a week for 3 weeks out of four.

Lesley and I were close to breaking point.

That August was a turning point for me because it made me realize what life was all about.

It wasn't about focusing on a career at the expense of a family life.
It wasn't about having to put up with feeling miserable because I "couldn't" do anything about it.
It wasn't about trying to be someone I was not

And...it certainly wasn't about job security.

When I decided that fateful week in August that I was going to quit my job by December 1st that year...NOTHING mattered anymore...apart from one very important thing.

The ONLY thing that mattered to me was that I didn't HAVE to do what I didn't want to do.

Sure...we all need an income, and the 'career' that may provide it...but, I would gladly have taken just a part-time job to pay the bills so that I didn't have to face compromising what was REALLY important to me...

My mental health...and the physical and mental health of my family.

Looking back...I honestly couldn't tell you how I had the guts to do it. But I did.

And now...I KNOW that I COULD because I NEEDED to be 'somewhere else' more important than chasing money and prestige.

I needed to be ME...and I needed to have a life that, despite all of its ups and downs...I could be HAPPY in!

Now...YOU don't have to quit your job like I did...YOU just need (at the beginning) to LOOK at WHY you are doing things because you feel you HAVE to.

Life's too short to live it to someone elses' agenda.

It's only when you live it to your own like I now do...that you realize that you CAN have a happy and relatively stress-free life.

BUT...only if you change what makes you unhappy first!

Swimming In Waves Of Failure?

I very rarely recommend anything to you these days, because, to be frank - most of the stuff I get asked to recommend is, well, crap!

Yet - for the last five years I've been recommending these amazing CDs.

I wonder why that is?

They are not my preferred way of learning...but you only have to look at the response from other people to show you that they could work for YOU.

I've been taking a look at how I analyze 'failure' this week.

It's easy to let your emotions (and gut reactions) make something into more of a problem than it might be.

It's so easy to get stressed when you look at life through a cloud!

Over the last couple of years...I've began to look for the 'lesson' behind my so-called 'failures' (let's call them 'temporary defeats').

This week, for example, I found myself reacting positively to something that would have usually 'knocked me sideways'.

Because I am now a lot more philosophical about life...not much really 'gets to me' any more.

You see...YOU do have a CHOICE about what gets you down!

Sure...for a few minutes...it CAN seem like things have gone horribly wrong, but when you step back and take stock a little...you'll usually find that if you look at things with a 'clear head'...you'll be fine.

Life's events comes in waves...good days, bad days, average days...all following on from one another.

Now, that's not to say that you MUST have bad days, but, being realistic, most of us DO have the odd day where we just can't really be bothered.

Personally I have less and less of them because I don't let external events and people 'wind me up'.

I KNOW that I am in SOLE control of how I interpret my life...and so are YOU, too!

Perhaps You're Just Laying The Necessary Foundations?

Inspiration can come in many forms.

After 15 years in a completely clerical job...I now find it almost impossible NOT to 'think out of the box' (to use management-speak).

What about YOU...do you ever think 'around' a subject to see if there could be a different aspect to it that you haven't considered?

As my 'job' now is based on a serious degree of creativity (well...YOU try and write something useful and positive every day!)...it has surprised me at how well I have 'adapted' to my new role.

But...on reflection...perhaps THIS is what I SHOULD have been doing all of those unfulfilled years in a bank.

Perhaps I NEEDED that experience in order to provide the foundation for what I am doing now.

Although I haven't brought along any technical skills I learned in banking...I HAVE brought with me my desire to lead, motivate...and be 'business-like'.

Although I've worn a suit only twice in the last 3 years...I know that I CAN step back into that more 'corporate' role if I need to (for example when presenting to small businesses the other week.)

So...in retrospect...perhaps those years in a job that I excelled at, but never really enjoyed DID provide me with something that has set me on this path...and for the future.

Whatever situation YOU are in at this very moment...just remember that you WILL move on to 'better things' (if that's what you want, of course)...but ONLY if look towards what you REALLY want to do with your life...and begin to make PLANS to achieve it.

It works for me...so there's no reason why it can't work for YOU.

A Day To Remember...But Now For The Right Reasons As Well

As yesterday was the first anniversary of losing Connor...I wanted to make sure that we would be able to remember the day for something else other than those horrible memories of when we got the 'phone call, what he looked like etc.

As 'luck' would have it (I believe that you create your own)...Katie had her first 'sleep over' with some of her old best friends from her old school.

We're an hour's drive away from where we used to live...so it wasn't worth us driving home at 5pm - just to go back for 10am.

So...I booked Lesley and myself into a nice hotel with a pool, jacuzzi, steam room etc.

But...as I wanted to 'create' some NEW memories to REPLACE those 'not-so-very-nice' old ones...I made sure that we did something different.

I booked us into a suite...(with a lounge and dining area)...and the biggest bed that you have ever seen!

The look on Lesley's face was worth the extra money, believe me!

Now...we have both stayed in a few hotel rooms in the past, both at home and abroad...but - they ALL look the same, don't they?

But this suite was more than twice the size of a normal room.

So...do you think that, next year, when we look back to the 20th February...we're going to have some 'nice' memories of that day, in addition to the not so nice ones?

Sure...it will ALWAYS be a day that we won't look forward to.

It will ALWAYS be a day where thoughts about Connor will be at the forefront of our minds.

But now...we will also be able to say..."It doesn't seem like a year ago when we stayed in that nice hotel suite"!

Plus...as we were 'out'...it stopped us from dwelling too much.

So...it IS possible to make something 'good' out of something that COULD have been REALLY terrible.

All it needs is a little imagination...something that YOU most certainly have in abundance!

Remember...life is what YOU MAKE IT to be.

YOU are in CONTROL...never forget that!

Fine Tuning For A Happy Life

I'm often at a loss as to what to write on this blog.

But...usually once I just begin to type...I find inspiration from SOMEWHERE!

But...some days are easier than others.

Isn't life like that, too?

Some days you feel on top of the world...and on others...you'd rather just stay in bed.

I still have up and down days...but I find that, because I am constantly looking at what I CAN do (as opposed to what I THINK I can't)...then the down days become less and less frequent.

Some days...what might have depressed me in the past for an entire day...just disappears after a few minutes.

Because my mind is constantly looking for the LESSON or message behind everything that comes my way (good and bad)...I find that it is so much easier to deal with things that don't quite work out as planned.

What about YOU?

Are YOU having more bad, negative days than good, positive ones?

If you are...you should look at why you THINK you are!

Remember...you can find both good and bad in practically all situations.

The key to a happy life is tuning your mind into looking out for the good instead of the other way around!

Succeed Or Fail? It's All Down To You.

It's very important to maintain an open mind where this success business is concerned.

It's easy to dismiss something because you personally don't know how to do it.

It's easily done...and it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

But...do you realize how much YOU hold yourself back because of how high you 'set your sights'?

For example...I came up with an idea for something...and, through various methods in the 'real world', was getting my brother, Mark, to work out how we could do it.

But...I realized that there well people who were already advertising a similar thing to what I had thought of.

What would YOU do in my situation?

Give up...and assume that other people had 'beat you to it'?
Give up...because you were now aware that other 'more qualified' people were in the market who obviously knew more than you.

Or...try to find out how THEY were able to do it...and then find someone who KNEW what to do?

Guess which one I did?

Honestly...it's all done to what YOU THINK is possible.

Moving Forward. Isn't That A Good Thing?

It becomes more difficult to come up with 'new' things to say as I write so often.

So...I'm not going to worry about it...and instead I'll just repeat what I always say in a different way!

It's the same where leading a successful life is concerned.

You don't have to 'reinvent the wheel' in order to make something happen for you.

Just keep on keeping on...that's the key.

If one thing doesn't quite work out for you...just try to alter what you are doing slightly.

And...if you find that you feel comfortable doing something positive...and it's not quite working out for you...just keep on doing it!

The best results ALWAYS comes from those things that we are good at...sometimes all you need is an investment of time longer than you think you need.

Remember...as long as you are moving forward in some way...isn't that a GOOD thing?

It's Been Emotional

I've got some advice for you...

"Assume that the worst is going to happen!"

What? Is Gary going all negative on you?

Well...no, actually.

You see, I only gave you part of the sentence. What it should read is...

"Assume that the worst is going to happen...so that you will always be prepared for it!"

I'm not for a moment saying that you should be PLANNING for something NOT to work.

What I mean is that...when things do go wrong (which, let's face it...sometimes it seems quite often!) then, if you are prepared to accept that on the odd ocassion they will...then your emotions won't get in the way.

By not gettting all worried, stressed, angry, or whatever...you will be more easily able to take a deep breath...and step back for a moment to rationally see how you can deal with it.

I suppose that I am fortunate (thanks, mum)...that I very rarely let anything 'get to me'...and am able to calmly make decisions under pressure...but I know that you may not be like that.

So...by accepting that, every now and again there will be a 'spanner in the works'...you will be able to deal with SOLVING the problem rather than REACTING to it.

Most problems can be solved by some steady, focused thinking followed by action...which unfortunately stressed people never seem to be able to do if they are screaming and shouting about how 'nothing goes right' for them.

So...take a deep breath...relax...

So What's Changed Here?

Everything that you say and do has an impact...whether you realize it or not.

One throw-away comment can easily upset somebody else...and one bout of feeling sorry for yourself can stop your motivation dead in its tracks.

Of course...it's not easy to keep yourself in control at all times.

But...you'll find that generally, the most successful people do exactly that.

I've learned the hard that it's easy to change my reality just by changing my view of something.

What do I mean by this?

Well...someone might send you an email complaining about something that might be entirely unjustified.

Yet...you question yourself as to what you are doing because of it.

Nothing 'real' has changed...all that has happened is that you were exposed to ONE other person's opinions...and it made you change your whole perspective!

It's so easy to do...that it becomes so hard to actually 'get over it'.

Now...I personally just try to let it wash over me...and stop and ask myself "OK...so what's changed?"

In every case...NOTHING has changed...the only thing that has is my view on what I am doing...which really is somebody else's view, not mine!

Unfortunately...most of the time...it's not easy to see how easily we are influenced on a regular basis.

All you need to do is to take a little step back and give yourself room to ask yourself...

"So What's Changed Here?"

It's You That You Should Be Concerned About!

Ever wondered why other people seem more 'lucky' than you?

I always felt that my "face didn't fit" in one of my old jobs. I knew that, whatever I did...it would never be quite good enough.

Shame really.

Shame that I was so narrow-minded, that is!

You see...it's easy to look at other people and complain about why they do this...or get that literally fall into their laps.

When you compare yourself against ANYBODY...guess who's going to come out second-best?

Yep. You are. Every time. It's human nature!

In my old job...I forgot about the reasons WHY I didn't fit in as well as I should have...and instead focused on being jealous of the other people who did!

How negative is that?

And...because I was constantly focusing on the negative...instead of working on ME...guess what I attracted?

More of the same!

One of the hardest things I have had to face up to as I have grown as a person is to be able to accept 100% RESPONSIBILITY for what happens to me.

It's easy to blame people who won't spend money...or to blame mailing list providers when subscribers get sent two copies of an ezine.

Believe me...I always used to!

Now...I just accept that I don't have control over what I don't have control over...and just get on with doing what I DO have control over to the best of my ability.

- There will ALWAYS be people who have more 'luck' than you.
- There will ALWAYS be people who earn more money than you.
- There will ALWAYS be people who can 'get away with it' when you can't.
- There will ALWAYS be people who find things 'easy' when you don't.

Get over it.

It's YOU that you should be concerned about...not THEM!

The Art Of Creating Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is one of those phrases that scares the hell out of people!

We all want it...but so very few of us actually believe that we HAVE it.

The main reason is rooted deep in our pasts...

Over many years...how many times have you heard things like...

"Shouldn't you do this...?"
"Perhaps you shouldn't do that. Why don't you take the easy option?"
"You're only an 'x'...you won't be allowed to do it"
"Yeah...of course you can! That's what they all say!"
"But you don't know how."

If our minds have been filled for so many years with this 'helpful' advice...isn't it no wonder that we struggle to be confident when we are pushed that little bit out of our comfort zone?

It took me years to realize that I wasn't my position at work...I was as capable as the CEO when it came to being able to make important decisions.

We are 'pigeon-holed' into our respective careers that we end up BECOMING the stereotype of whatever role or position we assume.

Scary, really.

Now...because I am my own boss...I KNOW that YOU and I ARE more than capable of doing whatever we want in OUR lives.

As long as we BOTH go that little bit further than we feel comfortable.

Whatever YOU do...someone, somewhere will take great pride in criticising you.

But...then again...most of the time...that will be more than outweighed by those who respect you for doing what you do.

And...the biggest benefit of all is that you literally CREATE self-confidence by actually DOING what you thought that you couldn't do.

I KNOW...over the last year or so...I've probably surprised myself in regard to what I have done that I didn't think that I could do.

Plus...I've got less excuse NOT to continue now, haven't I?

And, neither have YOU, too!

You, Me, And The Negatives!

I have a confession to make.

I'm just like YOU.

I have good days, bad days, rows with my wife, times when I struggle to stay motivated, and the odd worry about providing for my family!

But...unlike you...I have to find something POSITIVE to write about every day!

I'll be honest with...nobody has a consistently idyllic life 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week...they wouldn't be human if they didn't!

But...it's how you THINK about the down times that defines who you really are.

It would be easy for me (even now) to focus on the negatives in my life (yes...there are some)...yet I CHOOSE not to.

Instead I focus on how I can make the most of being ME.

As YOU should be focusing on how YOU can make the most of BEING YOU.

It seems like it is in our genes to hunt down the negative in ANY situation that we find ourselves in...but, it's amazing how empowering leveraging your TALENTS can be instead!

So...stop worrying about what doesn't work...or why you can't (or won't) do this or that.

Start TODAY on thinking about what YOU have in your FAVOR.

Of course, it's so much easier to worry...but, take it from me...the challenge I get from trying to get the BEST out of what I have already is what REALLY gives me a buzz.

You'll only find that your limitations are self-imposed once you begin to pull away from where you previously thought you could go.

If you're already in the air - flying towards your goal - don't you think that it will be easier to climb a further ten feet higher?

It's certainly much easier to achieve than the first ten feet, that's for sure.

YOU are in control. YOU have the ability.

If I can do this stuff...then there is NO reason why YOU can't make something of YOUR life, too!

Colin Or Arnold. You Choose!

Even though I'm not a golfer...I found this very interesting.

The top golfer (and Brit) Colin Montgomerie talked about how his entire round of golf can be ruined by things that get in the way of his habits.

For example...he always drives himself from the hotel to the tournament just in case the driver is late.

He never eats breakfast at his hotel just in case it is late and he has to rush!

And...one of the things that really puts him off is if the announcer on the first tee says him name as Co-lin (as in Colin Powell) instead of Colin!

This in particular annoys him so much that he often mucks up his first shot off of the tee...and then has to try to mentally get it together to rescue his entire round!

Blimely...what's amazing is that he has won ANY tournaments despite always having the possibility of his routine ruined at any opportunity!

I don't know about YOU...but I know a few people like him!

Just the slightest upset or change...and their entire DAY is ruined.

One little argument can ruin an entire weekend!

Me?

I'm much more in favor of the Arnold Palmer school of golfing (and also LIFE) philosophy.

"I stand there and hit the ball as hard as I can. Then I go find it and hit it hard again."

Makes sense to me!

I Resolve To Change. I Resolve To Change.

Christmas is over...and the conversations turn towards New Year.

And resolutions.

Which I personally don't believe in.

Why?

Because...if you really NEED a 'reason' to do something about your smoking, your weight, your career etc...then perhaps where you currently ARE is where you REALLY want to BE.

Think about it.

If you want to lose 20lbs...wouldn't you have done so if it meant that much to you?

Almost certainly.

But...because most of us aren't really 'bothered' enough about how heavy we are etc...that it's an easy decision to go back to the way you have always been.

I can safely say that...unless you really have a REASON to make changes in your life...whatever they are...then it will be almost impossible to stick to your resolution.

Because I had bad asthma as a child (and still suffer from it when I am unwell)...I was told by my doctor when I was about aged 11 that if I smoked...then I would be lucky to live beyond middle-age!

So...I have NEVER even had a 'drag' of a cigarette. Never even been tempted.

I haven't done so...because the FEAR of doing something outweighs the SATISFACTION from doing it!

But...when addictions are concerned...the satisfaction issue doesn't even come into it any more...then it's all down to HABIT.

Which...we both know...are very difficult to break!

So...before YOU consider what resolutions YOU might take up next year...think about whether you have a good enough REASON to stop doing whatever you don't want to do...and whether you have something lined up to replace the HABIT that smoking, or snack-eating etc has become.

Then...at least you'll have an EXCELLENT chance of making changes in your life.

Whether it's 'resolution time' or not!

By The Sea...I'm Talking To Myself!

Over the last couple of days...I have spent almost an hour or so talking to myself!

(No...I haven't gone mad...yet!)

You see...as I now live just a little way from the sea...I've decided that, if the weather is OK...I should go for a walk.

Otherwise...I'd just sit on my backside all day like I've always done for the last couple of years!

Not only that...I love the sound of the waves...the fresh (but cold) sea breeze.

It's not really exercise to me.

So...where does the talking to myself come into it?

Well...as I very rarely see anyone when I'm on one of these walks...I have begun to practice a little 'self-talk'

Call it affirmations, if you will...but with a twist.

I talk out loud (or in my head if someone walks by!) about what I want from my life...who I want to be, how I view money, exercise etc.

Usually...it might begin with "I am...", but I don't worry too much about what I am saying exactly...just that I KNOW what I mean.

The reason why I don't worry about starting everything like 'they' say you should?

Well...I just say the first things that come into my head as I am walking along.

And...for the past two days...I have managed an almost non-stop 'self-talk' for an hour each day!

I figure that, if I'm out walking...then I might as well put a little effort in on the positive thinking and talking front, shouldn't I?

(Just don't tell Lesley...she'll think that I'm going mad!)

At the very least...I end my walk feeling refreshed for having walked for so far...and for 'clearing the clutter' in my head as I focus on the sort of person I WILL become in the future.

I'll let you know how I get on as time progresses.

But...in the meantime...how can YOU fit in some positive self-talk into YOUR day...if only for a few minutes?

Lessen The 'Downs'...Leverage The 'Ups'.

It's not that often that I get 'wound up'.

But...our seven-year-old daughter Katie is going through one of those 'screaming, shouting, rudeness' phases at the moment.

It's her way (I think) of reacting to our move last month.

Although she appears to have settled into her new school OK...and is involved in things generally...both Lesley and I think that she is still a little way away from being 'settled'.

And...perhaps Lesley and I are the same.

We've got a nice house, just a 15 minute walk or 5 minute drive from the sea...and things are winding up to Christmas (although the first Christmas without Connor being around will mean that it is more of a reflective, rather than celebratory one).

But...

Mainly because of Katie's daily outbursts...there can be an atmosphere in the air occasionally.

But...isn't LIFE like that sometimes?

That's part of the FUN!

Sure...we all have 'off' days...but, by showing a little empathy to Katie instead of just shouting at her...we can try to make the path a little smoother, can't we?

Plus...it's great to be able to take an hour out of the day to wrap up and go for a walk along the coast. (Boy...is it windy here!)

The trick with the game called life is to lessen the impact of the 'down' times...and leverage those 'up' times.

Some days it might take more work than others...but if you can aim to come out 'ahead' EVERY day...then, life can't be that bad can it?

What have YOU decided?

Who knows where the decisions that you will make today will take you?

We get so 'hung up' on trying to predict our future based on our past that we forget that we cannot possibly have a CLUE about what may lay ahead for us.

It's SO easy not to make decisions when you've managed to get away with it for years.

But...unless you start making some DIFFERENT decisions...then you are going to continue to get what you've always got.

Is THAT enough for you?

(Perhaps not if you're reading this.)

What will it take for YOU to DO something about where you are?

YOU have the ability, the talent, the knowledge...now all you need are GUTS.

So-called successful people are not supermen (or women) - they were just like YOU once...and started to make MORE decisions...not necessarily better ones!

Where your future is concerned...you don't know WHAT will happen, or WHY it will happen.

So...isn't time that you stopped trying to 'second-guess' the outcome of your possible decisions...and actually started to try and MAKE more of them?

It's all down to YOU.

What have YOU decided?

Are You Climbing The Stairway To Heaven?

Ever get the feeling that there may not be a 'way out'?

I certainly used to feel that way.

It's easy for me to tell you what I did...but it won't mean a thing until YOU have DECIDED that the time is NOW.

Have you?

What have you done over the last week to prove to both yourself and those around you that you mean business?

Well?

Unless you CONSISTENTLY move forward in some way...then you will never end up where you really want to go.

It's like a staircase.

It's all very well you stepping up to step#1...or even up to step#5...but unless you climb all the way up to step#15 at the top...you won't get there!

Of course...you may well not know what step#15 LOOKS LIKE...which is fine.

But...unless you climb step#1 with the knowledge to find out how to get to step#2...then you might as well not really bother.

This may seem a little harsh...but, really, is it worth wasting your energy if you aren't SERIOUS about going the FULL distance?

Only YOU know the answer to THAT!

You've Moved Further Forward Than You Think

It's easy to forget that...on the whole...you HAVE moved forward more than you think.

Don't agree with me?

Well...it may not seem like it...but I bet that, good or bad, you have learned a LOT over the last five years.

Even if you are, at the moment, raising your eyebrows...the lessons that you would have learned over that time would have certainly changed your life in some way.

You may look upon this period as a negative time...but, what if what has happened to you is nature's way of preparing you more fully for where you really SHOULD be going?

I've had some seriously difficult, unpleasant, and downright heart-wrenching moments over the last five years...but, without them...you wouldn't be reading this now.

So...I am in control of my life DESPITE what has happened to me.

It's easy to say how terrible things were...when in fact I am sure that you can draw strength from so many OTHER things that happened to you.

So...what's done is done.

The only benefit from dwelling on what has happened to you in the past is to see how you can LEARN from it...and use that knowledge to your ADVANTAGE in the future.

"A mistake only becomes a failure when you repeat it."

Never forget that.

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life...

Whichever way you look at it...it's always difficult to maintain a positive attitude where life is concerned.

Why do you think that the phrase 'one step forwards...two steps back' came from?

BUT...it doesn't have to be like that!

There is usually a HUGE difference between what actually HAPPENS to you...and your INTERPRETATION of what happens to you!

If you are the sort of person who looks for the cloud on every silver lining instead of the other way around...then guess what you're going to find!

So...take a step back before you start jumping to conclusions.

You may be surprised at how supposedly impossible situations can be improved dramatically...just by giving yourself the space to look at them from a detached perspective.

I have a rule...it's quite a simple one.

It based on a Monty Python song...

"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life!"

It certainly works for me!

It's Not About THEM...It's About YOU.

It's easy to let your life get stale.

I personally fight against it...all of the time...even though I don't necessarily have as much of a routine as you might have in your job.

It's easy to just 'not be bothered'...and just carry on regardless...even though you may wish for something different.

Apathy is a dangerous place to live.

It's so sad that the sum total of a lot of peoples' lives is what's wrong with them...or is based around what they haven't got.

It's such a waste of a life that should be EXPERIENCED...to try to 'use' it to its full potential!

Just because you feel that you should be in a 'safe' occupation, instead of leveraging what you can actually do...doesn't make it right, does it?

It takes a strong man (or woman) to stand up against the 'norm'...and decide that perhaps after all...there IS more to life than just working all hours to fund a particular lifestyle.

The vast majority of us start off from a similar place when we are born...yet there are relatively few people (rich, poor, or otherwise) who actually ENJOY most of their days.

I like to consider myself as one of them.

What about YOU?

Look inwards to what YOU CAN DO before you look towards other people to try and emulate what THEY do.

They are living THEIR life based on what 'works' for them...shouldn't YOU be doing so, too?

It's Down To Your Assumptions And Perceptions

To be honest...there is perhaps too much 'stuff' out there that will help you succeed.

The more that you read and listen to...the more viewpoints and experiences based in the SAME principles you will learn.

It's so easy to be taken in by 'the next best thing' when really, one of the may free ebooks that are out there would probably do just as good.

I'm as guilty as anyone of wanting to find that little extra 'tidbit' of information that will make a 'difference'.

But...now that I have read (and written, and taught) so much about personal development over the last couple of years...I've realized that, even 10 years ago...I knew ENOUGH to make some changes in my life.

The trouble was...I didn't BELIEVE that I could.

Do YOU?

Do YOU believe that you are, in fact, a person who is MORE than capable of producing something that people would gladly pay money for?

I KNOW that you are.

And...perhaps, one day, in the not too distant future, YOU will prove me right!

But...only if you BELIEVE in yourself a little bit more than you do NOW.

Making a small move in the right direction as soon as possible is one of the best ways to make that happen.

Once you realize that it is only your assumptions and perceptions that are REALLY holding you back...you will KNOW that you CAN grow from wherever you are.

You just need to START.

Do it NOW...what's stopping you?

Did I Trick Myself Well?

I've been feeling a little 'under the weather' today.

Apparently...there is a 'bug' going around at the moment.

Can you tell what effect those two sentences alone can have on me.

I'm not well. I feel sorry for myself. I'm bound to catch 'it' because everyone else has 'it'.

Do you think that I am literally commanding my body to feel like crap?

It's easy to do. So easy in fact...that we ALL do it!

So...this morning I tried a little experiment on myself.

I DO have a few cold symptons...but I caught myself lounging on the sofa sniffing and thinking about my aches!

So...I closed my eyes.

Breathed deeply.

And...for 30 seconds I visualized the germs in my body being literally 'sucked out' and being replaced by a warm orange light instead.

(I won't mention it to my mother...she'll think that I've gone mad!)

But...you know what...I certainly felt better for a fair few hours afterwards.

Whether it 'worked' or was just a pyschological 'trick' I played on myself...who cares?

So...the next time that YOU feel a little 'out of sorts'...think about how your thoughts are affecting your body.

You never know how much better it could make you feel.

Will You Join Me In Acting The Fool?

I'm not ashamed to say that today I danced around the room like an idiot as I listened to some of my favorite music.

It's great now and again to just let off steam and make a fool of yourself without anybody looking.

I don't do it nearly enough as much as I should,

And, I expect that neither do you.

It's easy to look at life as a serious thing. Bills. Work. Getting by.

But...it shouldn't be like that!

We don't seem to laugh anymore, do we?

As of today...I am purposely going to 'act the fool' more often (yes...even if it embarrases Lesley and Katie!)

It doesn't really take that much effort...and you can't beat the feeling of really 'going for it'!

Would you like to join me in some 'air guitar' practice?

Or how about some 'dodgy' dancing?

Life's too short to worry about what other people think...just have some fun and enjoy yourself!

It Shouldn't Have To Be Like That!

I have a quote for you...

"The degree to which you are successful in life will be determined by the degree to which you handle your failures."

Want to know who said it?

It was...ME!

I can safely say that, if it wasn't for the 'failures' in my life over the last few years...I wouldn't be where I am today.

Now...of course...I would rather NOT have had to go through what I have during that time...but nevertheless it has made me a better, stronger, and 'nicer' person because of it.

Until you are in the shoes of the people who go through certain things in life...then you can never possibly imagine how HARD life can be sometimes.

But...I've found that a HUGE majority of those people who (like me) have faced some serious life challenges seem to come out of it a much more positive and focused person.

It's almost as if we have been knocked so hard that our subconscious vows NEVER to just stumble through life...and instead pushes us towards doing something that WE want to do instead!

It's such a shame that events like the loss of a child, having cancer, or becoming bankrupt have to act as a catalyst for changing your life to the way you REALLY want it.

But it shouldn't have to be like that!

That's one of the reasons why I do this. I want to try and get this 'message' out before it comes to the point where you may be literally forced to realize that there is more to life than just complaining about x or y, watching TV, and wondering 'if only'!

So...don't wait for life to catch you up and threaten to trip you up (or worse).

Life is too short to wish it away.

Just begin by focusing on what you can do NOW to start making even a minor improvement in your life.

It might just be making that phone call, or taking notes from that book you are reading.

It might just be a simple gesture like buying flowers for someone you love.

Life is meant to be ENJOYED...at the same time as being a CHALLENGE.

Don't let it get to the point where the ONLY option is upwards...you're too special for that.

Are YOU? EVERY Single Day?

I'm in a reflective mood today.

We have exchanged contracts on our new house some 50 miles away...and we are all set for moving next Thursday 13th November.

It's hard to believe what has happened in my (and my family's) life during the six years that we have been at our current house.

What about YOU? How have the last six years treated YOU?

The funny thing is that, I am only the way I am because of the bad things that happened to me.

As they say in the movie Star Wars - "Once you go over to the Dark Side - there is no way back".

It's EXACTLY the same the other way around, too!

Once you focus your mind on improving yourself, keeping a positive outlook on EVERYTHING, stretching yourself further than you think...and actually DOING something about making changes in your life - GOOD things DO start to happen!

It's never too late to start from 'scratch'.

The past NEVER equals your future where your success is concerned.

It's the NOW that matters.

What are you doing NOW that is moving you towards your ideal LIFESTYLE? (note - not your ideal amount of income!)

The old saying still holds true - "Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better".

Except that now it should be -

"Every day in every way, I'm GROWING bigger and bigger!"

Are YOU? EVERY single day?

And...This Is What You SHOULD Be Doing!

Yesterday...I talked about the FACT that YOU alone are in control...and we focused on what you should STOP doing.

Well, today...we are going to look at what you SHOULD be doing!

So...

- You SHOULD be thinking about what you REALLY want out of your life. No...not what you THINK that you really want...what your 'life mission' is.

- You SHOULD know exactly WHO the people are that are currently in your life that you WANT to 'take with you' towards your ideal future.

- You SHOULD be able to put into one sentence what you WANT from your life...without using the words - income, millionaire, or money!

- You SHOULD look at the people who are where you want to be...and think about how you can LEARN from their experience.

- You SHOULD accomplish something (no matter how small) every day that, in some way, moves you towards your ideal future.

- You SHOULD look at how you can leverage your efforts so that you are not getting paid purely in return for the amount of hours that you work. Not always easy to do...but it IS possible!

- You SHOULD focus on the quality of your thoughts. If you become what you think...then ANY negative thought won't help you in the slightest. The easiest way to start doing this is to wear an elastic band on your wrist and 'ping' it every time that you have a negative thought.

- You SHOULD look at how your HABITS are reflected in who you are. Just 5 or 10 times a day spent on something more constructive than mindlessly watching TV is an excellent start!

I could go on...and on...but I'm sure that YOU probably have more useful ideas about what you SHOULD be doing than me.

Everyone KNOWS what they SHOULD be doing and aren't...so, what about YOU?

Are YOU On Your Own Side?

Whoever you are...and whatever you do, unless you have that "little voice" inside your head under YOUR control - you will never succeed.

Unless YOU have YOU on your side...then you will be struggling before you even start!

So...

- STOP blaming yourself for what you have (or haven't) done to get to where you are now.

- STOP putting your talents down. You have more skills than you realize.

- STOP thinking about why you can't do something...and instead focus on why you CAN!

- STOP blaming other people. YOU are totally responsible for the outcome of YOUR life...nobody else.

- STOP comparing yourself to other people. Whatever measure you use...you will always find a way to tell yourself that you are 'second-best' compared to them!

- STOP wishing it was different...and start ACTING as if it was!

- STOP focusing on your 'weaknesses'...and instead look at how you can leverage your strengths.

- STOP looking at things going wrong as failure. The only time you fail at something is if you repeat the same mistake after not having learned the lesson from it the first time!

- STOP telling yourself that other people are 'lucky'. Luck is something that is a natural by-product of a positive attitude followed by action!

So...think about how YOU, and not your external circumstances, might be holding you back.

What little ways can you begin to start making sure that YOU are on your own side?

A Change Will Do You Good

What do you think of when someone mentions change?

Do you break out in a cold sweat at the very thought of doing something different?

Or...do you look at change as something that you can take advantage of?

It's important to realize that change is happening ALL of the time.

You grow older. Your knowledge increases. Your experiences are building...one of top of the other...to make you who you are.

I used to hate change, that was until I realized that I could use it as an opportunity. An opportunity to step back and take a good look at why I was doing what I did up until that point.

Sure...it takes some getting used to.

But, believe me, once you learn to embrace change (and, perhaps even welcome it!)...then instead of making your life harder, it can make it a lot easier.

It stops you from getting bored...and, more importantly, it enables you to move forward in some way because of the experience.

So...next time you are faced with change...stop and take a look at how you can use it FOR you...instead of how you can use it as an excuse!

Chart Your Course... It Can Make All The Difference

Chart your course - Allow me to pose the following question to you. What do you think would happen if a ship set out to sea on a long voyage yet didn't have the proper navigation system in place?

Several things might happen actually...

The ship might float aimlessly until the captain decided to give up and come back home. Another thing that might occur is that given enough time it may actually stumble upon its destination.

In each of the examples the end result could have been much different had the crew simply took the time to properly chart their course prior to setting out to sea.

Proper planning does take time, but the extra effort can make a huge difference with regards to our outcome.

The same rule applies when it comes to our own lives. Charting our course is basically the same thing as keeping a clear list of goals. My friend, belive me when I tell you that the clearer an idea of where we want to go, the better your chances will be of actually reach your destination!... Your friend in Success, Josh Hinds :-)

Uncle Frankie And Your Year

At the moment...I'm listening to "It Was A Very Good Year" by Frank Sinatra.

In the he song takes you through his life from seventeen until the 'autumn of his years'.

And, each in their own way was 'A Very Good Year'!

Could you say that about EVERY year in your life?

Is every single year a 'Very Good Year'...but for very different reasons?

Do you look back and think..."Well...those five years were terrible"?

I've actually heard many people say that! Scary, isn't it? Scary that you can literally write off what could easily be between six and ten percent of your LIFE like that!

Sure we all have New Year resolutions to make 'this' year better...but they only usually last about a week or so.

So...we're well over half-way through THIS year now...are YOU going to look back at 2003 and say that you had a "Very Good Year" despite everything that life has thrown at you?

Are Your Dreams Aligned With Your Passions?

Are Your Dreams Aligned With Your Passions?
By Josh Hinds
(c) 2003

Making sure our goals are properly aligned with our passions only makes sense. If you have the wish to move up the corporate ladder, start your own business, or just about any other worthy goal you're going to make things a lot easier on yourself if you're working on things that get you personally excited and make you feel alive when you're working on them (i.e. following your passions).

We hear this a lot I know... But have you ever stopped to ask yourself why this is?

Hopefully this will help...

A simple rule of thumb is to do the things that you'd do if you weren't getting paid for them. The simple reality is most any level of lasting achievement takes effort. Often it means going above and beyond the call of duty. Foregoing something in return for the results your sure you'll reap later on.

Even if others might not see you as exerting quite as much effort as they are (I get this all the time since I "just sit at a computer all day and work from home"... Have you ever heard something similar?). Even so, you're putting forth effort.

I can tell you I can't imagine how much I'd dread getting up each and everyday if what I was doing wasn't aligned with something I also had a strong passion for. Believe me, it's a feeling worth exploring and implementing into your own life.

In summary, I believe that following our passion allows us to sit in a more natural path with regards to achieving our personal success. Why is that? Because instead of counting the hours till we get off and can work on other projects, we'll be more excited about the task at hand.

Which I believe is a lot more likely to equate to your having a feeling of leading a a more productive life. Wouldn't you agree? Not to mention, we're destined to have a whole lot more fun day to day (and I believe, in turn derive more lasting meaning in our lives)... Your friend in success, Josh Hinds :-)

That's Why It's One Day At A Time!

This weblog is called "Success...One Day At A Time" for a very good reason.

I gave it that name because I truly believe that you will only lead a truly successful life once you master those little things...and make improvements and adjustments to them practically EVERY day!

Now...

Because of this...I only tend to have daily goals that I aim for (aside, of course, from my 'big' goal).

This goes against a lot of 'conventional wisdom'...but I truly believe that unless you really keep on top of things on a daily basis...you will never achieve what you really want out of your life.

This works especially well when you have a lot of things that you need to do.

I could choose to be overwhelmed by the amount of work I need to do...and the stuff that I know that I should be doing.

But...I'm not, because I make sure that I just focus on what I need to do TODAY...and then think about what I need to do tomorrow...well, tomorrow!

That way...I don't start playing mind games on myself by letting the doubts and the 'pressure' of wondering if I'll get everything done creep in.

And...a natural (positive) by-product of this is that I can go to sleep every night knowing that I have moved that little bit closer to where I want to go.

Baby...I Bet You've Grown!

It's easy to forget sometimes how far you may have come from where you once were.

Too often we over-dramatize our failures...and undervalue our achievements.

If you're reading this...then I expect that you are at least a little bit serious about improving yourself.

For that very same reason...I would expect that you have picked up at least some tools and techniques to apply to improve your life along the way.

If you really think about it...I bet that you have!

Sometimes...because you can't see massive change in your life...it doesn't mean that you haven't grown!

Take a baby, for example.

When they are your own...you see them every day...and, every day they do a little bit more...grow a little taller...have more of their own personality.

So...three months down the line...you don't realize how MUCH they have grown.

That is...until your friend turns up whom you haven't seen for a few months and comments on how much your baby has changed!

Get the picture?

If you're working towards a better future...even little by little...don't put yourself down because you haven't 'made it'.

I bet that you'd be really surprised at how far you HAVE come!

Won For All...And All For Won

Lesley and I went to the film "Bruce Almighty" which stars Jim Carrey.

Although not a classic film by any means...I still strongly suggest that you go see it because of what you can learn from it.

Jim Carrey is entrusted with God's powers after he claims that God doesn't care anymore.

Now...you would think that all of his problems would be solved...but, having the answers to all of his prayers results in him ending up more depressed than when he started!

Now..of course, there is a schmaltzy happy ending...but, along the way I found that there were a few excellent lessons that we both could learn from the film.

Things like...

- YOU have a unique set of talents...so USE them!
- Happiness doesn't come from having all of your prayers answered.
- Be careful what you wish for...because it may not be what you really want.

And...there's many more.

It's good to find a positive film with a 'success' message behind it!

So...go and 'waste' a couple of hours watching it...and look for the 'signs'!

To Overcome Fear

Yesterday, I attended a wonderful workshop on integrity given by Rev. Edwene Gaines of Unity. She described an experience she had several years ago at a workshop she attended on conquering fear. The first exercise was to rappel 200 feet down into a dark cave. Her nugget of wisdom about this experience was that in order to conquer fear, you have to give up your attachment to surviving.

That statement really stuck in my brain. The implications are obvious, I think, when one is talking about physical fears, such as rappelling into dark caves, walking on fire, or hang gliding off a cliff. It really struck me, though, how it applies to any of our fears.

For most of us, we are very attached to just surviving: to paying our bills, to keeping our jobs or keeping our busineses afloat, to hanging on to our relationships, and so on. We dream about great things like becoming rich, or having great relationships, or work we really love, or, dare I say, changing the world. Until we can loosen our attachment to just surviving and take that step off the cliff, we will be incapable of conquering our fears and of soaring to such great heights. Only then can we become great!

Just Get On And Do It!

No, not an entry to publicise trendy sports shoes!

Don't you find that the only things you regret are the things that you DIDN'T do? Not the ones that you actually did.

How much time do we all spend procrastinating, thinking that we will wait 'until the time is right' before we do something, or 'until we have some more information'? Yet the year moves on so fast (here we are half way through this one) and, before you know it, you'll be looking back on 2003 with a glass in your hand and thinking...why didn't I do more with my year?

If you make a decision - it's always going to be the right decision for that particular point in time. Why? Well, you're a logical, reasonable human being, and you're making plans and taking action based on everything you know at the time. If, later, the decision turns out to have been the wrong one, then it's because things have changed, or that other information has become apparent since you made the original decision.

The danger is that you'll wait and wait and never know any better.

If it feels right - Just Do It!

Travel Light

"If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears."
-- Glenn Clark

To that list of "leave behinds", I would add arrogance, narrow-mindedness, apathy, and disrespect.

Any other "leave behinds" you can think of? Please send them to me. I'll start a collection. Then I'll study, inventory, catalog and organize the collection for future reference. Finally, I'll lock it up in a storage space so I can refer back to it occasionally when I might need to reopen the experience to help others. But mostly, I'll be grateful that I've got them locked up where they belong.

Then when I discover some of the more refined, insidious versions of these degenerative handicaps on my journey, I'll have just the place to put them in my collection.

When I know what they are and how to keep them secured and organized for reference, then I can not only go wherever I want at maximum speed, I'll also know the best places to go.

I Appreciate You,

Craig Lunde
President
EnviroMark, Inc.
909-427-1165
clunde@adelphia.net

Make A Fortune Using Movies!
http://www.smashthemold.com

Trust Your Support Team

One of the most powerful skills in the universe is the ability to delegate, motivate and inspire other people to get things done in the same way or even better than you would have been able to do yourself!

The great power of delegation is that, by letting others take responsibility for tasks, you make space to think and achieve even greater things yourself.

Yet it's amazing how rare these skills are. In a business context - there are many people stressed out and driving themselves to distraction through the inability to delegate to others effectively. Parents are running around trying to fix the domestics and keep the house tidy while the kids watch TV. Sometimes it's "quicker to do it myself", or "I don't think they will be able to do it as well as I can". Other times it's simply that the person is so busy being busy that they haven't got the space to put their head above water to prioritise and see how they could spend their time better.

To be a true delegator means being able to trust others to do something - my disctionary says "to entrust another person with a task". The key word being TRUST. And if you've been trusted yourself, you know what a powerful feeling that is - to know that another human being rates you and your abilities.

If you can't trust someone else to do things for you, what does that say about you?

Are you surrounding yourself with the wrong people?

Are you worried that, by letting go of some activities, your own role and status will be impacted?

Are you simply too busy and disorganised to sort out and brief the tasks that could be done by someone else?

Maybe the task doesn't HAVE to be done as you would do it? Perhaps someone else could bring a new perspective?

Looking at the world's successful people; no one makes it on their own. We are all part of a support community and, deep down, we all feel more fulfilled by helping each other and collaborating than by working in isolation.

Think about children - how do they ever learn to cope or develop life skills if they aren't trusted with tasks and responsibilities of their own? And often, they'll surprise you by coming up with a completely new twist on getting things done!

What are you doing today that could be trusted to someone else? Embrace your support team!

Striking Out Does Not Equal Failure

Striking Out Does Not Equal Failure
By Josh Hinds
(c)

There's one thing that holds true no matter what goals we hold for ourselves. At some point we're going to be faced with disappointing results. I could get into a whole discussion here on the importance that persistence will play in reaching our goals.

Instead I'd like to give you some baseball statistics to illustrate my point. Baseball statistics you say? Trust me it'll all make sense soon enough :-). The name's you will see listed are all in their own right amazing players. What's ironic about them is that they all are in top 10 listed under the category of "All-Time Leaders - Strikeouts" (note: over time all stats can change).

Even more ironic is that had I not done the research I never would have known this. You see these people are not remembered for their failures, or how many times they happened to strikeout are they? People only remember their achievements. Life works that way. So the next time you're pondering a missed opportunity keep in mind that doubling your number of strikes might just lead to your ultimate success. Now on with the list...

1 REGGIE JACKSON 2,597
2 WILLIE STARGELL 1,936
3 MIKE SCHMIDT 1,883
4 TONY PEREZ 1,867
5 DAVE KINGMAN 1,816
6 BOBBY BONDS 1,757
7 DALE MURPHY 1,748
8 LOU BROCK 1,730
9 MICKEY MANTLE 1,710
10 HARMON KILLEBREW 1,699

Pretty darn impressive wouldn't you say? The point is persistence pays. Of course after a list like above you don't need me to remind you of that. Have a fantastic day!...Your friend in success, Josh Hinds

Step Into The Ring With Your Negative Champion

I get it all the time...

That little voice directing me the wrong way.

Telling me that I can't be bothered...or that I'll mess up in some way.

Every day!

What about you? I bet that you do too, right?

You see this voice held me back for years...literally.

So now I fight back against it. I dare to challenge it. I dare to stick up for my TRUE self...against that 'lightweight' lazy person that sits all day talking to me inside my head.

It's not always easy...I can tell you.

So...I just 'bite the bullet'...and just get on with it!

Sure...some days its easier than others...but I'm learning to watch for the times during the day when I'm not at my 'best'...and so I go for a walk instead...or read a book for fifteen minutes.

It's no good fighting that voice when you have one hand mentally tied behind your back!

I make sure that I 'show up' when I know that my creativity and focus is at its best...and therefore I've gradually become a lot better at overriding that little voice.

What about YOU...do you know what the best time is for you to step into the ring with your 'negative champion'?

Until you find it...you'll never find it easy to step up to the challenge!

Whenever The World Seems To Be Against You... Ask Yourself These Two Questions

I'll tell you...

My life is never boring!

Even though I have a 'full-on' success mindset...and live my life through positive thinking, I still get everything 'thrown' at me!

Every time it seems that I am 'stepping up'...something suddenly happens...or someone suddenly appears to test my resolve.

A couple of years ago, I would have just held me hands up and shouted "I give up!".

But not any more. Oh no.

Now...I KNOW that, just because I am acting the 'right' way, it doesn't mean that things aren't going to go wrong...BIG TIME! lol

And...every time that I stretch myself that little bit further...these 'tests' get that little bit harder...or a little more complicated.

But...I also KNOW that they are exactly that - TESTS!

They are not...'bad luck.
They are not...'failure'.
They are not...'fate'

I don't ask myself 'Why me?'

I just ask myself two things...

1) What is the lesson that I can learn from this?
2) How I can I ensure that it won't happen again?

YOU should ask yourself these questions whenever the world seems to be going against you.

Remember...YOU are in complete control of your life...and how you learn from it.

So...LEARN from your 'bad' experiences...don't suffer them!

Who Are They To Say It Can't Be Done?

Who are they to say it can't be done?
by Josh Hinds (c)

Doesn't it just burn you up when you have just shared your 'great idea' with someone and not only are they not as enthusiastic as you, they even go as far as to say your idea won't work! Trust me if this has happened to you you're not alone.

In such instances we generally have two choices. One, we can let go of the idea and be left with the dreaded "what if I'd only tried" question running through our minds . Or two, we can get a second opinion!

Luckily for us the people from the next few examples did just that!

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 15 tons." - Popular Mechanics," forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949.

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.

"But what...is it good for?" - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM commenting on the microchip, 1968.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." - Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" - David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." - A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

Who the heck wants to hear actors talk?" - Harry M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." - Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone with the Wind."

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make." - Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting her company, Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." - Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this." - Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives or 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.

"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you; you haven't got through college yet.'" - Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.

"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools." - New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work, 1921.

"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training." -Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus.

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy." - Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." - Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." - Mrechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction". - Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872.

"The abdomen, the chest and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon." - Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria, 1873.

"640k ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

Wow! can you imagine what would have happened if the folks who heard these "expert opinions" hadn't gone for a second opinion? Never fear following your passion... Your friend in success, Josh Hinds :-)

Do You Look For Your Faults Before You Work On Your Strengths?

You are what you are despite what you think about yourself.

Confused?

Well...perhaps you are...because, let's face it...the less you think of yourself the less likely it is that you are going to be successful.

Don't believe me?

Well...let me ask you something...

Do you look for your faults before you work on your strengths?

It seems that most of the gurus out there are telling you that you should work on getting your faults right before you do anything else.

Well...I'm going to tell you the complete opposite!

YOU have talents that very few other people possess...yes YOU!

And, to be quite honest...you're kidding yourself if you are not using them to your full potential.

Your talents are like a muscle.

If you work on building that muscle up...it will be become stronger every single day that you work on it.

Every day...without fail.

It's no good trying to work on muscles that you are not even sure that you have...or feel uncomfortable when you work on them.

Work on the stuff that responds to the challenge of pushing itself harder first.

All athletes play to their strengths...so why aren't you?

Fighting That Thing Called An Excuse

There are certain things in my life over the past five years that I could have used as an excuse for failing at whatever I chose to do...whether it was my career, marriage or my own company.

But I chose (and, I still choose) not to.

Why?

Well...I look at being positive as a challenge. I try to see the 'reason' or lesson behind everything that happens to me.

Yes - even the truly awful things.

To be honest...it's the only way I can be, because otherwise if I sat down for a weekend and just dwelled on how 'unlucky' I have been over the last few years...I would probably be back on anti-depressants.

Yep...I was on them...for two months. Until, that is...I realized that it wasn't my situation that was making me depressed, it was the fact that I never really got around to doing anything about it!

So one day I stopped taking them. That was less than 21 months ago...and, from that day...my entire attitude to life has changed.

I now REFUSE to accept that I am 'unlucky'.
I now REFUSE to accept that I will be limited by my 'talents' (or lack of)
I now REFUSE to take for granted how much more I have (and have had) than a lot of people.

Despite everything...I am not going to give in. I'm going to fight my conditioning that tells me to blame everyone else except myself.

So...what about YOU?

Do You Realize How Wonderful You Really Are?

Do you realize how wonderful you really are?

Now...this isn't meant to be 'twee' or sarcastic...but, do you really think about how special you are compared to everyone else?

You have a unique talent that I guarantee someone, somewhere, would be glad to pay you for!

You might not think that you do...but, if you really think about it...I'm sure you'll find out that you are good at something!

Take me, for example...

What I have done for the last year or so online bears absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to my previous fifteen years of working!

And...I've discovered that I have a talent for communicating with people via the written word that I didn't know that I had!

It all comes down to how much you really want to succeed in your life...

You could be stuck in an admin job - just because it is the 'norm'...but deep down your 'true love' is scriptwriting (funnily enough I used to know someone who was in that exact same position!).

You might have been a fantastic cartoonist in your youth...yet you are now a 'lifer' insurance man (exactly like one of my brothers).

Listen to what 'calls' you.

If it fascinates you...then you almost certainly have a talent for it. And...you can almost certainly use it in your life to be someone different.

This isn't just talk. Many people make a living for doing seemingly 'stupid' things...yet, because they are so original, or so good at it...they become famous for it (and wealthy in the process!)

Remember...it's not what you are that defines how successful you can become...it's how you use what you already know that makes the difference (and YOU different!)

How BIG Thinking Will Help Your Survival

My parents got back last week from a cruise across the Atlantic.

The last time they went on a similar trip about five years ago...it was 'plain sailing' - the weather was fantastic, and the sea was calm all the way.

Not this time!

They were unable to stop at the Azores in the mid-Atlantic because the captain couldn't be sure that the strong winds wouldn't blow the ship too hard against the harbor!

And...whilst they were at sea...they had 18-foot high waves to contend with!

Now...with a cruise liner, waves this high don't really prove that much of a problem...it just means that you are thrown around a lot more on board (and probably end up feeling a lot more seasick because of it).

Now...I wouldn't want to come across waves that high, would you?

But...it made me think...

Waves the size of a house don't cause many problems to a massive ocean liner...but I bet if you were single-handedly rowing across the Atlantic on your own...it would be an absolute nightmare!

It's the same way where your thoughts are concerned.

If your thoughts are focused on the BIG things that you want to achieve...you will stand a much better chance of surviving the odd change in the weather that invariably happens when you are 'all at sea'.

But...if your thoughts focus on lack and poverty...you can be sure that a huge wave will stand a fair chance to engulf you!

So...it's your choice...do you want to be buffetted...or nearly drowned?

The Secret Of Beating 'Action Paralysis'

I currently have eleven projects that I have either started or want to start!

And...this doesn't include the ongoing 'tweaking' of my current sites...and the publication of my ezine.

After writing a couple of days ago that I only had half-a-dozen or so projects...it surprised me that in fact I almost have twice as many!

In my opinion they are all worthy of some effort...and are worth varying degrees of income to me.

As long as I actually 'bring them to market!' lol

The easiest thing with eleven projects lined up on a sheet of paper is to get 'action paralysis'.

You know...that feeling where you have so many different things that you feel that you should be doing that you can't actually sit down and move forward on any of them!

Ever been there?

There IS a cure. Just start SOMETHING!

So...I have decided roughly which priority I should place each project...and then I just make sure that I do at least something of ANY of the top three EVERY day.

Why not just focus on #1? Well...I'm the sort of person who needs some variety...and each of my projects are slightly different in some respects.

So...one day I might be going all-out on my new E-class...the next I'll be updating my new ebook...and the next working on the website for a joint venture I have with my brother.

Remember...just because you FEEL that you should be doing x...it doesn't necessarily mean that you should HAVE to do it if you are not in the right frame of mind to do so.

If you do...then you'll only end up doing a sub-standard job, and hate the project anyway!

So..next time that you feel 'bogged down' with too much work...just try to vary it a little!

A Ninety-One Year Old's Secret To Success

At the grand old age of ninety-one, the much loved British actress Dame Thora Hird passed away yesterday.

She always seemed like a very down-to-earth person...and this came across when the news programmes were doing a review of her long career.

What struck me, however, was what they said that she kept on her bedside table.

On it...she always had this note...

"Don't stop doing things because you're growing old...otherwise you'll grow old because you've stopped doing things."

Now...isn't that a wonderful and positive reminder to have every day before you go to sleep and as you wake up?

Thora Hird had perhaps some of her most widespread successes in film and TV in the years that most of us would gladly want to sit by the fire with our cocoa and slippers!

So...are you growing old before your time because you're not doing things that push you even a little bit?

Makes you think, doesn't it?

A Lesson In How Easy It Is To Let Habits Slip

I'm not proud to say that I've proved myself right!

It's all about habits...

Due to recent events...I had (naturally) not bothered with writing this as I had other more important things to deal with.

Before that...I would even get out of bed and start up my PC to do this if I realized that I hadn't posted an entry!

Well...because I had got out of the habit of doing this...I got into the habit of NOT doing it!

It just goes to show that, without even realizing it...we can easily just let things slip.

I'm almost back into the 'swing' of things...although the house has an eerie 'quietness' about it. It's almost as if little Connor and his medical 'army' had never been around.

But he was (and he is inside my head). Always there to remind me that doing only 'enough' isn't good enough.

Doing only 'enough' won't make me (or you) a millionaire. That little bit more than enough will.

So...let's hope that I at least get back into this habit...and carry on where I left off!

One Hospital Visit...Two Interesting People

I came across two interesting characters in the hospital today...

The first was the nurse who was looking after Connor.

She told me that she was only covering the other nurses as she was on a break from university. Althought she had been a nurse...her real love was physiotherapy...and so she decided to take the 'stop' in salary, and go back to university to pursue her dream of doing something she really loved to do.

Now...do you think that she is following her heart or her wallet? And do you think that she will be happier in the long run because of it? You betcha!

One of the doctors also said something that interested me today.

A young (and eager) man...he is quite a pleasant chap as doctors go.

I was having a joke with him about him being under pressure to get a IV line (via injection) into Connor because I was watching.

He said that he didn't feel pressure...ever? "Why?" I asked him.

"I don't feel under any pressure when someone is watching me because, I know that as long as I do my best...I haven't got anything to worry about!"

What a fantastic attitude that is to have, don't you think?

So...two people in one day have shown me that they are 'in control' to some degree in their lives...and were making something of themselves at the same time!

The Secret Of Slowing Down Time

Ah...the joy of momentum!

I have spent the last 90 minutes squeezing in three hours work!

It's possible, you know!

How do I know? Well...recently I have managed to 'slow' down time on a number of different occasions.

Just by being totally focused on what I need to achieve.

I make sure that I don't check my emails...answer the 'phone...or even stop 'acting' on the relevant task until its completion.

I can't always manage it, but, boy...when it works (like it did tonight)...you get such a fantastic feeling from it.

Sure - I could have just left the work until tomorrow...but I wanted to go with my gut feeling to get the job done.

Now...I'll have a 'fresh' start in the morning...and will therefore allow myself the luxury of a little time where I can just take it easy...as a reward for a 'good job done'.

Try it. Focus solely on a task that would normally take you an hour or so.

You'll be surprised at how much faster you can do it if you devote 100% concentrated effort to it!

If You Want Something Done...Ask A Busy Person To Do It!

My posts have been a little erratic this week (to say the least)...

This is because I am basically at 'full throttle' on finishing the final elements of the marketing on "The Law of Success" ready for its big marketing rollout this week.

There is a saying that goes something like "If you want something done...ask a busy person to do it."

That's probably true...as the more busier I get, the more I seem to take on, and the more I seem to get done.

But...

It's easy to feel overwhelmed when you have at least twenty things that are 'super-urgent' to do.

I find that the best way to prioritize exactly what is the most important is to stop for a while...and take five minutes or so going through each task in turn...and deciding whether it is more important than the last. At least eventually this way...you will have an idea of what the most urgent one is.

I'm one of those people who are excellent of finding new ideas...and starting them...but I always have to seriously work on myself to finish them.

So...don't get action paralysis!

If you have too much to choose from...and you can't decide what the most important task is...just START on ANYTHING...and you'll soon find out which one has the most priority!

The Manic Depressive's Guide To The Worry Habit

Are you a worrier?

The reason why I asked is that Lesley started helping one of my brothers today for the first time...and boy, was she worried!

- She worried if she could 'handle it'.
- She worried if she would like it.
- She worried what she looked like.
- She worried that she might have to answer the 'phone.

In fact...she probably had even more worries other than these that she told me about.

If you look closely...you can see that all of her worries had one thing in common...

They were all in her head...and made up totally by her!

And..guess what?

Once she'd done her four hour's worth of helping my brother's business...she came back smiling!

All of the things she had been worrying about never occurred to her once she just got on with doing something. She even answered the 'phone a few times...without a clue of what she was going to be asked!

So - what's the moral of this story for you?

Well...worrying about something isn't necessarily a bad thing (we all do it)...but, you will find that best cure for killing worry for good is by doing the very same thing you are worrying about.

As the saying goes - "Feel the fear, but do it anyway!"

Are You Thinking Quality?

Ever wondered why some people 'make it' whilst others exactly like them fail?

It's not because of their backgrounds.
It's not because of their education.
It's not because of how 'lucky' they are.

The ONLY distinction between you and anyone else is the quality of your thinking.

Let's take athletes as an example. Sure...there are undoubtedly some physical characteristics that make some people better runners than others etc...

But...

When you come down to the top 100 sprinters in the world - there are literally only 1/10ths of a second between #1 and #100.

So - what's the difference?

The difference is in how they think.

How they force themselves using their willpower to train that little bit harder...and longer.
How they focus their thinking and visualize winning BEFORE they actually race.
How they 'tune out' as they race.

And...there are undoubtedly many more factors that contribute to their success compared to the also-rans.

So...if we look to applying this concept in real life this means that if you want to be a success in your career...you need to :

Push yourself that little bit harder when you feel yourself slowing down.
Practice visualizing yourself carrying out the duties of the position you aspire to,
Learn how to concentrate solely on your current task...and not get distracted easily.

Apply just these three principles...and I guarantee that your career will begin to take off more quickly than you could ever imagine.

Try it for a month and see what happens. What have you got to lose?

Why Success Really Is Timeless

I am currently writing the website copy for my newest project - The Law Of Success in Sixteen Lessons by Napoleon Hill.

It's hard to believe that it was released seventy-five years ago...and I'd guess at least 90% of it is STILL totally relevant today.

I'm going through, chapter by chapter...so that I can pull out the benefits to put on the website. It makes ME want to buy it...just by reading what I've written!

What's the lesson that you can learn here?

Well...(like marketing, for example)...it shows that 'success' - however you define it - is timeless.

The power of the mind is such that, even though it has much more to 'take-in' nowadays...it still requires the same basic processes to enable it to 'generate' success!

What this means is that the answer to more success in your life doesn't necessarily exist in the latest book or tape set - it lies dormant, somewhere inside your head...just waiting to be re-awakened with some serious creativity followed by action.

So - what are you waiting for?

Those Mistakes...And The Korgis

"Everybody's gotta learn sometime..."

If you're sad like me, you'll know that this is a title of a 'one hit wonder' song from the 1980's by a group called The Korgis!

It got me thinking...

The only way that we really learn is from our mistakes.

It makes sense, doesn't it? After all - if everything always went 'according to plan' you would never know what was good or bad, right or wrong, exciting or depressing.

Are you one of those people for whom failure at anything means 'the end of the world'?

It's no shame if you are...I know many people whose lives almost fall apart at the first sign of losing money or because of some mess up.

Failure is temporary. Once it's happened, it's happened!

As long as you learn WHY it didn't work - then there will be no need for you to 'go there' again.

Just because you fail at something doesn't mean that you are a FAILURE!

So - something went wrong. So what! It doesn't mean that you aren't incapable of turning it around the next time is it?

It is difficult to get out of a rut...but only because YOU put yourself there. As the saying goes - "One swallow doesn't make a summer".

And, therefore - one failure doesn't mean disaster...as long as you actually LEARN from it!

Why You Should Focus On What You CAN Do...And Not What You Can't

"It's not who you think you are that holds you back...but what you think you're not."

Apologies to the author of this quote - but I can't remember where I read it recently.

This quote is going to be my 'mantra' for 2003.

Every time I think that I can't do something because.....then I will remind myself of this quote.

YOU have the power.
YOU have the ability.
YOU have control.

All YOU need is to challenge yourself into pushing your boundaries...and expanding your world.

I KNOW that it's not easy...but I know that it's certainly worth it.

Last month I stepped outside of my comfort zone for a few hours. And made $500!

But...more important than the money was the experience...the experience of KNOWING that I can now do something that I feared.

Also - when my mind next tries to put a block on me doing more of the same...it will have a lot less power over me.

So...focus on what you CAN do...and not what you can't. Believe me - it's well worth it!

The 'Ouch That Hurts' Method Of Positive Thinking

At this very moment I have an elastic band around my right wrist.

Why?

Well...I figured that it was about time that I tried to stop ANY negative thought from entering my head.

So - every time I think a thought that isn't positive - I stop myself and twang! - that elastic band!

This isn't a new device - and I am sure that you have heard of it before.

When I got up this morning - I thought that I would try it - just to see what happens. The twangs have become a little less as the day has worn on, that's for sure! (Because they DO hurt! lol)

I went for a walk this morning to get the newspaper (unusually - because I normally drive). It was raining, but not too heavy - so I thought - "Why Not?"

But (and this is the strange thing)...guess what I saw at FIVE different points along my ten minute walk?

Elastic Bands - just lying on the floor!

Now...is that a message or what?

Why Don't You Just Celebrate Being YOU?

Christmas is upon us yet again...

It means so many things to so many people...

It's a positive thing. A negative thing. Stressful. Fun. Happy. Sad. Expensive. Value for Money.

Doesn't that give you some idea of how every single one of us uniquely views what is, in fact, a relatively 'simple' experience?

We all have experienced those Christmases where we have to 'play along' because of the children...or because of the in-laws.

What most of us don't realise is that we 'play along' during the rest of the year as well! We never seem to fulfil our undoubted potential...why?

Society places boundaries, expectations, 'requirements', upon us all. A lot of the time we don't even realise that we are constantly competing with our neighbors or our family...or our peers.

How can you possibly compare yourself against ANYONE else?

You are UNIQUE...that you cannot deny. But...if that is the case...you will never shape up against anyone else in this world.

You will be better than a lot of people at some things...and worse at a lot of things than a lot of people!

Don't compare yourself against anyone or anything...because in your mind you will ALWAYS come off worse!

Christmas is a time for celebration...so celebrate being YOU!

Are You Filling Your Head With Yesterday's News?

What have you read today?

Who are the people that you have spent time with?

"Why?" do you ask?

Well..one of my favorite quotes is from Charlie 'Tremendous' Jones -

"You are the same today as you'll be in five years, except for two things:
The people you meet...and the books you read."

Makes you think doesn't it? (Like the best quotes do!)

So - if you have been filling your head with yesterday's news...or comic books...or even a good 'thriller' - how much impact do you think that that investment of time will have had on your life in the future?

And...if you associate with people who are negative...and even those who aren't 'ahead' of you...then, I ask you...how much do you think that you'll benefit from those relationships?

It may seem harsh...but if you constantly are around negative events and 'down' people - then it won't be long before you catch the negativity 'bug'.

I know...I'm still trying to get out of it myself.

One of my best friends at work was one of the most negative people about his career that you could ever meet. Sure - he WAS a nice guy, don't get me wrong. But...we'd go out for a drink...and all it was was moan moan moan about how the company was bad, how badly his boss treated him, how 'unlucky' he was.

It took me some time before I realised how 'toxic' he was to my own ambitions!

Coupled with reading and watching the news about impending war...or this or that disaster...and my mind was forever filling up with 'bad' input...and pushing out the positive frame of mind that I was spending so much time cultivating!

So...if you do only one thing tomorrow - look at ways you can clear some of the negativity out of your life.

You'll be surprised at how much room you'll make!

Is Your Life Jagged?

Life's funny sometimes...

One minute you are uP...the next minute you are DOwn.

But...that's part of the 'fun' of it!

I can sit here all day long typing words for you to read...but unless you actually 'do' something with that information - you might as well be reading a picture book.

Life is jagged...experiences are ragged...emotions get scrambled.

You will NEVER be able to life a 'perfect' life. Why? Because 'living' gets in the way.

Nope...you can make your life easier...but it will never be simple. We need to experience the downs in order to appreciate the ups.

You can't have it both ways. Sure - you can 'even out' your reactions to those things that happen to you...but you will never remove the negative experiences from your life.

I'm one of the most positive people I know - yet I regularly have 'bad' experiences thrown at me!

So - you can choose to drown or you can choose to surf on the emotional 'waves' of life.

Choosing to 'drown' will make you even more wary next time...whereas choosing to 'surf' will make you look upon each wave as a challenge. Some you will ride...and others will collapse over your head...but you can still benefit from the experience...if YOU choose to.

How will you approach the next wave that is coming your way right now?

Are You A Success Bulimic?

Another December dawns tomorrow...and the madness that is the "Christmas Rush" has started for another year.

It's crazy how everything gets blown all out of proportion, isn't it?

Everything just gets squeezed into less than four weeks in December...then normality once again returns for another year.

Is your life like that?

Are you what I call a "Success Bulimic"?

Do you 'binge' on periods of good intentions and hard personal development 'work' - yet quickly fall back into the old routine when things don't quite go the way you hoped it would?

That's why I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. If you need an excuse to stop doing something - then you're hardly likely to stick to your promise are you?

Take it easy...one step at a time.

It may have taken decades to 'find' your current mindset - so you are hardly going to be able to make drastic changes overnight - no matter what the 'gurus' might say.

The only way you can make lasting improvements to your lifestyle or career...is to work on it...little by little...every single day...every single week...every single month...every year...until you get there.

It's easy to back away from a 'big' thing that is causing you pain because it's such a change - but it is considerably harder to break a little routine that becomes almost part of your daily life.

Try it - it does work!

"Nobody Said It Was Easy..."

That line from a song by the group Coldplay just echoed in my head just before I began to write this.

Could describe life, couldn't it?

Life certainly isn't easy...but then again...it doesn't have to be hard.

Echoing the music theme - here's another line by an eighties group called Talk Talk -

"Life's what you make it!"

And that's certainly true as well!

Whatever situation you find yourself in...whether you are happy or not...all depends on how you inwardly view your 'lot'.

It's easy to moan and complain about how tough or unlucky your life is. Perhaps that's why so many people do exactly that.

I refuse to accept that my life has to be terrible because it looks that way compared to my family and everyone I know.

Lesley and I have more to deal with emotionally and physically than our friends and family. But...everyone else is not as happy as we are!

If I wanted to prove my point - I just have - because we have every right to moan and complain.

But...

Life's like Star Wars.

You can either choose to stay and fight for the 'good side' - or give into the 'dark side'.

With my asthma I may sometimes sound like Darth Vader - but the similarities end there! (Though you haven't seen any recent pictures of me, have you? lol)

If you look upwards - you see the blue sky of opportunity.

If you look downwards - you see the brown sludge of wasted opportunity.

Only you can choose which way you look at you life...but I strongly recommend that you don't spend all of your life looking down at your feet!

Why...When It Should Be What Or How!

Are you too hung on up on the "Why" instead of focusing on the "What" or "How"?

Let me explain...

I have met many people on my online 'travels' who spend all their time asking themselves "Why" questions :

- Why am I here?
- Why do I always mess up?
- Why can't I be more successful?
- Why am I so unlucky?

And...because they are asking themselves those 'unanswerable' type questions - they just get even more depressed and frustrated when they find that they don't have the answers!

Focus instead on the "What" questions...

- What can I do NOW to improve my finances?
- What could I do differently next time?
- What will I focus on doing better today?
- What can I achieve if I really put myself 100% into it?

...and the "How" questions...

- How will I stop myself from reacting the same way next time?
- How will this help achieve my goals?
- How can I make my job more interesting?
- How can I find ways to learn more about myself?

It's all a question of questions!

How and What questions automatically focus you on doing something.

Why questions automatically provide excuses for why you are't soing something!

So - next time you feel that life is treating you badly - or you are wondering "Why them and not me?" - perhaps you should start looking for the How's and the What's to give you some help to get something positive out of the situation.

Why You Have Such Unlimited Potential To Change Your Life

It's true when they say that your 'universe' expands only when you do.

If you had asked me five years ago (six months before Connor's birth) that I would have quit my job of then 11 years, started a new one, quit that, started my own business (this), written two ebooks, learned from scratch enough to make me qualified as a nurse - and become more positive than I ever have been before - I would have laughed at you!

Add to that writing 300+ words every single day - then I would have never believed it unless I was actually doing it!

It's amazing how much you can evolve and grow when you really want (or have) to.

I can honestly say that, if Connor hadn't been born with all of his problems - then I probably would have still been at the same bank - and still be a manager who was never quite contented with his 'lot'.

That's why, when I see (and read of) so many people complaining that they haven't got this, or can't do that, it saddens me.

It saddens me because they don't see what (almost unlimited) potential they have to make more of their lives!

Are you one of those people?

Do you look for the down instead of the up...or the fall after the victory?

Shake yourself out of it! You can do whatever YOU want to do. You can be whoever YOU want to be.

You just have to want it badly enough to make the effort to change what you have been doing so far.

It's certainly not easy - but it is certainly rewarding!

Take a look at where you are today - can you be more than you are - can you do more than you are - can you push yourself harder than you are?

If the answer is yes - then you'd better start trying to find a way to change - otherwise you'll always be who you have always been.

Take it from me - it does work...but only if you try hard and long enough at it!

Do You Do What You Do For Yourself Or For Someone Else?

It's a strange thought...

I know that what I am typing now will not be seen by anybody for a while.

When I write I like to imagine a single person in front of me to whom I write. It stops me from being too impersonal like a lot of stuff I read online.

Ezine publishers tend to forget that, although your list may have 20,000 subscribers - only one person at a time is reading what you write!

What about you, my invisible friend?

Do you do what you do for yourself or for someone else?

- Do you dress the way you do because of what you think other people may say?
- Do you work in a job because you think that it is the 'safest' - but not because you enjoy it?
- Do you very rarely voice your honest opinion because you are frightened of how your comments will be taken?
- Do you hold yourself back because you believe that you won't live up to other peoples' expectations?

Wel...I'll tell you now - and tell you straight.

GET OVER IT!

You owe it to yourself to be yourself!

Do you really want to go through life wondering what it would have been like if you had really pushed yourself - and found out more about your life?

Waiting for other peoples' approval will mean that you are sacrificing YOURSELF because of others.

Life is too short and precious to worry about what other people think about - they're too busy worrying about what you think to notice!

Make the effort to be yourself - and you will certainly be rewarded by the feeling of intense satisfaction that you got from doing it - your way!

How I Know How Successful You Will Be...

It could have been such a frustrating day...

But I wasn't going to let it happen.

My ezine is published every Friday. Period.

I am proud of the fact that, vacation aside, I have managed to 'gear' my entire working week towards its successful completion and delivery.

But not today.

The website that runs my Listserver has been down all day - and that means that I have been unable to do all of the necessary work to enable me to send out this week's issue.

Yet again - I have been let down by a third party - yet it reflects badly on me!

But...life's like that!

Sure - I wouldn't be human if I wasn't disappointed - but instead I used the time to do some other constructive work that I would have had to do anyway.

Don't let a setback paralyze you.

When these sort of things happen to you - just accept that don't have control over the current situation - and just get on and do something else instead.

Shouting and getting stressed about it will not solve the problem. You need to make sure that you just 'get into gear' - and just carry on.

Sometimes life can be frustrating. Sometimes things happen that really bug (for want of a better word! lol) you.

It's not what happens to you that measures how successful you'll be - it's how you react to what happens to you.

So - I've now got to work over the weekend - but at least I've managed to do some work that I had scheduled for Monday - so it's certainly not a bad thing.

Don't get dragged down by defeat - you'll stand a much better chance of succeeding if you fight your way out of the corner!

Why You Should 'Fake It Til You Make It'

I have been awake since 4 a.m. because Connor has been sick again.

Although I could describe myself as tired - I still managed to get an hour's reading in at 5 a.m.!

Doctors are 'none-the-wiser' and over the last 5 weeks or so he has been physically sick for 75% of the time off and on.

It's easy to feel sorry for yourself when you're tired and worried at the same time.

But...

I refuse to feel sorry for myself because I know that it doesn't achieve anything. So - I limit myself to the odd few seconds of short-temper...and then mentally force myself to 'deal with it'.

I could curse my lot and complain to anyone I meet - but I don't. Why? Two reasons:

1) I can deal with whatever comes my way - I know that it's how I think of what happens to me that affects my life - not what actually happens.

2) The world is full of people who feel sorry for themselves (sometimes for no particular reason) - so why would I want to share my 'misery' with other people?

What you say and how you feel is catching. Miserable people end up listening to other miserable people. Gossips end up talking to gossips. Negative people attract other negative people.

So why not be different?

Why not having something positive to say about everything in your life?

If you can't manage that - then fake it!

Yep - that's right - fake it!

Try feeling miserable when you have a smile on your face.
Try feeling angry when all of your muscles are relaxed.

Go on - try it.

Keep it up and eventually your brain won't know any difference between it and the real thing.

Then just watch what sort of people start talking to you :-)

Why Me? Because I'm Totally Responsible...That's Why!

Have you felt that you have been let down lately?

Do you sometimes feel that it seems to be you against 'the World'?

Well - at times this week - it has seemed like that way for me, too.

I have been let down by a key component of my E-course - the autoresponders. I have done (and will have) a lot of manual work and an added extra expense - all because I was let down on the functionality by a third party.

Who's fault is it? Theirs...or was it mine?

Well...there's two answers to that really - the easy one and the hard one.

The easy one is - it's all their fault. "Why did this have to happen to me?", "Why didn't they tell me?"

Then - there's the hard one. It's my fault. "I was the one who made the initial decision to use them", "I was the one who was happy with the testing (see my posts a couple of days ago! lol)

When all is said and done - you have the sole responsibility for anything that affects your life!"

You just have to accept it - like I have had to do. We all make 'mistakes'. If we didn't then we proabably wouldn't learn that much.

You can't go around blaming people for things that you could have control over.

You might blame your boss for not promoting you.
You might blame your wife for your unhappy marriage.
You might blame the stores for offering you the credit in the first place.

Wake up! Start acting like an adult! Accept the responsibility for who, what, where, and how you are!

Playing the blame game is easy - but however you play it - you will never, ever win in the end.

It's surprising how much your life can change just by accepting responsibility and being truthful to yourself. Change can only happen when you absolutely, positively, want it to happen.

So start becoming more responsible today - there's no better time to start than right now!

Belief...That's All You Need

Are you running short of inspiration?

Do you feel as you are 'hitting a brick wall'? It's easy to do. We fight ourselves into such tight corners sometimes that it is easier to stay and take the punches than it is to fight your way out.

We all have those periods where we say to ourselves "Is this all there is?"

Don't worry - things can change. Your life can be turned around - and quicker than you could imagine.

All it takes is belief. Belief in yourself. Belief in your value as a person. Belief in your natural abilities that are unique solely to you.

You must sit yourself down and take stock of what it is about you that makes you who you are.

What are your strengths?
What are you weaknesses?
What challenges you?

A little under two years ago - I faced the same problems. I had a career - but with nowhere to go. So I sat down and asked myself some serious questions just like those and made sure that I was honest with my answers. My life was never the same after that.

I knew that they worked for me - so they might work for you. That's why I compiled them and put them into an inexpensive workbook bundled with a special report. I called it "The Millionaire Mindset" - which is what I now have.

In truth - there is nothing to stop you from working out the questions yourself - they aren't particularly mind-blowing or difficult. Sometimes simple is best. Give it a try for yourself - and if not - you know where to look for the questions that completely changed my attitude to life.

Dr. Seuss Is The Key To Your Success!

"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself.
Any direction you choose.
You're on your own.And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who will decide where to go."

Simple...yet powerful stuff. This paragraph is the opening to one of the greatest personal development books of our time.

Can you guess who wrote it? I warn you - the answer may surprise you.

These words are the opening to "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" by Dr. Seuss!

Now - I don't claim to have 'found' this little gem - I came across a reference to it in an ezine I read the other week, but I tell you what - you should read this book!

I've read it myself. I've made Lesley read it, and I've read it to Katie. You may scoff that it is written for little kids - but the message it gives us is crystal clear.

Even though we may have struggles and problems in life - we will succeed - but only as long as we keep going!

I am constantly aware of finding something to learn from every situation that I come across. I see inspiration where perhaps many would find desolation - but I find the 'good' things in life - because I am always looking for them!

Are YOU?

Whatever your situation - never ignore something because it's not 'normal'. After all - if I hadn't bought a Dr. Seuss book for myself - I certainly would be inspired by it, would I? Learn what you can learn about yourself from wherever and whoever you can.

You may never need to use this information - but its better to know too much about a subject than not enough - even if it does mean buying a children's book!

Which Tactic Are Playing The Game Of Life With?

Are you playing not to lose...or are you playing to win?

This thought crossed my mind as I wandered out of a football (OK - soccer) match last night where my local team (Crystal Palace FC) were once again beaten at home.

It is a well-known 'secret' that our manager would rather our side didn't concede a goal than going out to score ourselves. His philosophy is that - if the other team don't score - we won't lose. Almost every supporter that I have ever talked to would rather it was - unless we score - we're not going to win!

So - with which 'tactic' are you playing this game called Life?

Are you accepting what you have got because you are worried about the consequences of taking a chance...or are you focused on moving your life forward because you know that, unless you make some effort to change, nothing is going happen?

Do you gladly settle for an 'unfulfilled' life because you are too concerned with possibly losing what you have now?

Do you fail to push yourself harder when you know you should - just because you think that you might fail?

Do you avoid challenges because you don't think that you would deserve the 'rewards' from their completion?

Play to win - and whatever happens - you will certainly benefit from trying. If you are happy to plod through life without achieving much then that's fine - if it's what you really want. But...if you want a life that can be both challenging and rewarding - then you must focus your energies on getting those 'goals'.

You will fail on the way - but it's the only way to learn how to win. Go for the 'win' - life is certainly more dull without it!

How To Solve Action Paralysis...

I'll let you into a little secret...

I don't know what I'm going to write about today.

To most people - that would paralyse them. Stop them dead. What can I write about?

There is an easy solution - one that I use all the time. I just start!

I know that just staring at a blank screen will get me nowhere. I also know that the longer I leave starting - the harder it will be...and, once I actually begin the process of writing - I know that the words will come to me. If I don't like them I can just hit the 'delete' key and start again.

The easy option is to go and make myself a coffee - but hard is fun sometimes!

I never used to believe the saying that goes something like "Everyone has got a book inside themselves." I now know that it's true. Up until less than a year ago I hadn't written a single article or ebook - and now I write this every day, an article a week - and (so far) nearly three ebooks and courses!

Don't worry about the finish - worry about not starting. In the same way as "if you don't ask - you don't get" - success at whatever path you choose is entirely dependent on one single thing - whether you start or not!. The biggest difference between where I am now and where I was less than a year ago was that I started something - and stuck with it.

Start something, anything - just so that you can open your eyes to the opportunities that are out there. It can be difficult to stay focused - but, believe me - it's not as hard as you would imagine.

I Have Realized How Lucky I Really Am...

Having just spent three hours in a hospital cubicle made me realise how lucky I really am.

For 9 whole months in 1998/99 both Lesley and I spent practically every single day in hospital with Connor - and even Katie was in a different hospital 20 miles away from Connor for two weeks around Christmas 1998.

So - how can I gripe about spending three hours in one tonight?

Well - I'm tired. But - that's too easy to use as an excuse in my book. After all - I must have been a lot more tired when I was spending a total of 18 hours a day at two different hospitals a few years ago! I'm lucky that I have one healthy daughter - I've seen too many families to mention that have more than one child who is either seriously ill or severely disabled.

Do you count your blessings - or do you dwell on how 'unlucky' you are? I guarantee that, no matter how hard up or unfortunate you are - there is always somebody who is worse off than you! The next time that you begin to feel sorry for yourself - remember how 'lucky' your life really is compared to many other people in this world.

Our next door neighbour lost his life nearly four years ago - and left two young boys and his wife pregnant. I see his cute three year old son every day - but he will never, ever have seen his dad. Now try telling me how 'hard' my life is because I spent just three hours in hospital tonight.Feeling sorry for yourself is the easy way out. - making the best of what you have got may be harder - but, believe me, it's certainly a lot more rewarding.

Waiting...And Waiting...

I've just spent a day waiting in for a delivery of a new PC.

And guess what?

It hasn't arrived. A call to the call centre an hour ago confirmed that it was 'on the lorry' and would "definitely reach you by 6pm".

I'm sure that you've had the same experience many times. It's probably the biggest headache of any business that delivers goods either on- or offline - 'The Last Mile'.

It's easy to get frustrated. It's easy to get angry. I just don't bother wasting my energy - I've got far more important things to worry about. Don't let the petty things in life ruin your day. If you could physically see each little grievance as a brick in front of your path to success - you'd soon realise that it starts to get difficult to hurdle a wall when it's more than four or five bricks high.

Just let the little things wash over you like a wave - instead of being a brick being thrown in your path. I could have had my day ruined by getting upset by the fact that the call centre conveniently closes at 5:30 pm - so you can't complain to anyone until the next day.

But...

Remember that YOU are the one who controls what affects your mood, and therefore YOUR day. The longer that you build that wall - the harder it will be to knock down.

Every Day I See That Fridge Magnet...

Every day I see it. I guarantee that 99% of the time I don't remember seeing it - but I know that my brain takes it in.

It's on my fridge door. A magnet with the words :

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!
Live the life you've imagined."
- Thoreau

Every day I subconsciously get this message. Every day my brain has something positive and dynamic to keep it focused on my goal. The Goal.

The more I fill my head with positive, uplifting, and challenging thoughts - the less room I have for negative thinking. If I was an athlete I would train every day - hard - if I really wanted to reach the top of my chosen sport. I would make sacrifices, go through the pain barrier, and mentally challenge myself to go that extra mile.

Why should it be any different because you're sitting at a desk in an office?

Success revolves around risk and reward. The more you risk 'stepping out of your box' - the more reward you will get. Not now. Not this week. Almost certainly not this month. But over time your payback will come - and only if you make the effort first.

The Focus Of A Six-Year-Old

Having just spent the day at London Zoo with Katie puts me in a reflective mood.

As a parent, it's good to have some quality one-on-one time with your children - spending hours together without the slightest cross word. It's also great to see how a six-year-old's mind works. She's always focused on the current important goal. Her first goal was to see the monkeys - and she kept on and on until we saw them. Then the lions. Then the snails! Then, once she had seen something she wanted to buy in the gift shop - she 'reminded' me about forty times not to forget to go back to buy it!

It's infuriating as hell - but it certainly works. As soon as we were on our journey home - the 'goal' was ice cream!

It's such a shame that we lose that focus as we get older (but not necessarily wiser). How many times have you 'committed' yourself to something only to give up after the first setback? Focus your energies on the most important thing that you can do today - and see it through right to the very end. You'll be glad that you did. I know that Katie is!

Ah...The Joys Of Waiting In Line!

I queued (waited in line) for approximately five minutes at my local bank to pay some money in today.

During that time I heard:

- 3 sighs from the man in front of me
- A "There seems to be more staff walking around than serving" from the old lady behind me
- A young girl moan about wasting her time and walking out!

All in five minutes! The bank wasn't that busy - it was only 10 a.m. - yet I seemed to be the only person that wasn't getting stressed over the amount of time I was waiting. Why wasn't I? Well, I wasn't because there was absolutely nothing I could do about it!. It happens all the time, everywhere. A train is cancelled. A pile-up causes a traffic jam. Someone doesn't so what they're supposed to. SO WHAT?

Letting the little 'niggles' of life get to you just drains your energy. It makes you miserable and wastes valuable 'thinking time'. If you find yourself in a situation that is annoying, but you can't do anything about it - don't let it get to you! Just accept that these things can, and will, happen regularly in our lives and there is no point in letting them 'ruin' your whole day.

Peter Sellers...And What You Can Learn From Him

I watched a fascinating documentary the other night about the late, great comic genius that was Peter Sellers.

If you're too young to remember the Pink Panther films - make sure that you get them on video! He was perhaps one of the most talented character actors ever (in my opinion) - who could play anyone from an American, Indian, or Frenchman - and still be totally believable. He died in 1980 through a heart attack - a life cruelly cut short. (Just after the release of second-to-last, and perhaps my favorite, of his films - Being There - which showed his amazing capacity at playing a non-comic actor as well as anybody else (he narrowly lost out as Best Actor on Oscar night to Dustin Hoffman for Kramer vs Kramer)

What people didn't know was that, behind this amazing comic persona was a man who was seriously insecure and disbelieving of his talents. He would cry himself to sleep at night, and criticise every single facet of what others would call immaculate performances. He struggled to maintain happy relationships - primarily because of his need to be 'loved' at all costs. A flawed genius, maybe - but a great man.

Don't waste your life like he did - worrying about what other people think of you, and focusing on how 'bad' you are at 'everything'. Life is a one-shot game - it's the only one we're going to have. Make the most of it. Enjoy it. Appreciate the part you play in the lives of others and never, ever, undervalue or ignore the values you bring into other people's lives. Cherish your strengths and push aside your weaknesses - and never let anyone tell you that you aren't 'good enough' to achieve whatever you truly desire.

Change Your Mood...Change Your Attitude.

I locked myself away in my office as World War Three was going on downstairs. Mother (age 32) versus daughter (age 6 going on 26) were firing on all cylinders. Doors were being slammed, screeching voices echoed throughout the house. I was better off out of it.

Ten minutes later everybody was happy. In fact, we were all singing and dancing!

So - how did this transformation take place? Simple. Music. Music that had cost me nothing. Music from a CD that had been given away with a newspaper a couple of weeks ago. This CD had a record on that my wife and I use to dance to about ten years ago. So...as my wife was fuming in the garden - I put it on the stereo and within five minutes we were transported back to the times that we thought would last forever.

Never underestimate the power of music in your life. I listen to Baroque music while I work to keep me focused, and I like a good sing-along to some 70s Disco when I feel as if I'm starting to get miserable. Try it - try feeling miserable when you've got Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi thundering from the speakers. Change your mood - change your attitude, it's quite simple, really!

Oh What A Night!

I've just spent a not-so pleasurable night on the sofa. No, yours truly hasn't fallen out with the wife, I decided to spend the night downstairs with Connor so that Lesley could have a night's unbroken sleep. As he sleeps in our bedroom and is always awake by 4.a.m. - this is no small sacrifice on my part!

I managed a total of five hours before Connor's 'sats' machine started to go crazy. This machine monitors Connor's oxygen saturation levels 24 hours a day. We need our blood to be full of oxygen for us to function properly. You and I would usually have a level of around 95%-100% oxygen at any point. Without the constant supply of extra oxygen that Connor has through his tracheostomy tube he hovers around 60%-70%, which would usually mean that he would pass out and stop breathing entirely within a few minutes without it.

Anyway - enough of this medical stuff. The sats machine alarm sounds pretty much like an alarm clock - and is as loud. Can you imagine having to get out of bed, and walk over to 'kill' your alarm buzzer every 10 minutes for three hours? Well, that's what I did in the early hours of this morning. In the end I had to switch the thing of and constantly keep a watch on him just to make sure that he looked OK.

I could look at this experience two ways - I could complain and feel sorry for myself, or I could try to do something positive. Guess what I chose? So inbetween watching Connor and dosing up on Coffee, I read a few chapters of a book that really interested me, and concentrated my thoughts on how I could use the new information I had just learned. I can now look back on that time I had in the early hours as a positive experience and not as something negative. I'm very tired - but so what - I can sleep tonight, can't I?

Remember that there is two sides to every coin. You alone have the power to decide which way it falls in your favor.