Success...One Day At A Time

Shouldn't You Be Doing Less To Achieve More?

One thing has struck me today as I have been working.

The battle with your inner voice is the KEY to your success.

Without question.

You see, working in my home office, I've found that it is easy to get distracted when I'm trying to focus on something, and even easier to find myself interrupted when I am actually focused on something!

Little one-year-old Skye certainly has a habit of going crazy at the times when I'm really concentrating!

Yet - on the days like today, when I've had a lot of time to myself as Lesley has taken the children out - I've found that I'm not taking advantage of the situation!

You see - I'm not perfect after all!

Of course - I haven't completely wasted the day - I wouldn't allow myself to do that.

But...it has reminded me that I 'function' better at different times of the day than others.

Bet you do, too.

I can do great things at 6 a.m.
Can crank out an excellent article at 2 p.m.
And even focus on a little future project at 7 p.m.

Yet - often in the middle of all that - I check stuff, re-read forums, scan emails, and generally don't get as much work 'done' as perhaps you would expect.

Now...that's not to say that I am not motivated.

Nor...am I particularly 'bothered' about it!

I decided some time ago that beating yourself up for being YOU is a road to nowhere, that's for sure.

The more that you try to do what you THINK you should be doing, the less likely you are going to do the stuff that you NEED to be doing to help you towards your future.

That's why I'm not bothered.

An hour at 6 a.m. is worth two or three hours of mid-afternoon sighs!

(Guess why I have started to get up at that time so that I can ACHIEVE something before everyone else in my house gets up?)

Where success is concerned...it's not all about the firing on all cylinders - working your guts out - just to make as much as you can.

Nope.

For YOU - success should be about being able to lie on your bed at night - and actually KNOW that you have done something that has moved you forward towards your goal.

Will YOU be doing that tonight?

I certainly will.

Those Amazing Escorters...

I was reading the newspaper today, and there was a section about women of the year.

Jo Frost, of SuperNanny fame, chose Dr Kathy Hull, the founder of the only children's hospice in the U.S. - The George Mark Children's House.

Kathy had the idea from visiting a children's hospice here in the UK.

Good luck to her - this kind of help is desperately needed by thousands of families, that's for sure.

As you know - children's hospices are close to my heart thanks to the amazing help we had from Demelza House.

I read this quote from Kathy out to Lesley - and she said that it was one of the nicest things she had heard...

"There are lots of people to tell you how to bring a child into the world, but very few who can help you escort one out."

I couldn't agree more...and, believe me, without these sorts of places being available to people who truly deserve all the help they can get - then there would be many more broken families with very ill children.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...It's Your Decision

Change is a wonderful thing.

Just one little step in a different direction can change the outcome of your entire life.

I know...with the benefit of looking back - I've realized that my whole life has spun on an axis of circumstances and quickly-taken 'gut-feeling' decisions.

And...if YOU really examine the path that you took to get to wherever you are today - then you will no doubt find that quite often, what you thought was nothing much at the time, changed the path of your future.

But...that's all well and good, but how will that help you now?

Well...

If your future success (or failure) is usually determined by the 'little things' - then at least you don't have to always aim for BIG changes (no matter what some of the 'gurus' may tell you).

It's easy to get hung up on the fact that you should be x pounds lighter, or y amount better off - but that figure means absolutely nothing in the context of REAL life.

Making the decision to eat that chocolate or buy that 'toy' is all that matters where those particular problems in your life are concerned.

Isn't it easier to make a decision NOT to do something like that ONCE - rather than projecting yourself into your future and trying to convince yourself that you will have to do it every day for the next few years?!!

I don't know about you - but I find it easier to stop myself from eating something I shouldn't by distracting myself, rather than telling myself that I'm bad for wanting to eating it!

Take yesterday, for example...

It was about 11:30am and I was starting to feel a little hungry - and could easily have made myself a sandwich for my lunch.

But...I had something that I needed to do first that couldn't wait - so I made the 'little' decision to postpone my food until I got that job done.

At 2:30pm - long after I had finished that particular project - I realized that I hadn't had my lunch!!!

Because I had distracted my lazy willpower with something else to focus on - I ended up missing a 'snack' that would have undoubtedly passed my lips by then if I had eaten at 11:30am.

Now...that may not sound like much in terms of an achievement, but what if I ended up doing this every couple of days?

I may not actually lose any weight - but I would certainly be at least seven pounds lighter than I WOULD have been come the end of next year!

At the time - these decisions don't have to be huge in terms of the effort you need to take to 'get them done'...but when they're added together - the difference CAN be massive.

That's why continually educating yourself about how to develop you own skills and talents is a fantastic thing to do.

The more that you do something a little better, a little more quickly, a little more enjoyably - the easier your life is going to be compared to where it is now.

Of course it takes time.

The best way of long-term growth always does.

But...when you look back this time next year and see what all these little positive decisions have added up to - you'll realize that it was worth it!

I think that today is a great day to start making those little decisions, don't YOU?

Your Future, My Future, And A Reminder From The Past...

It's been a week of mixed emotions...

On December 4th - it was little Skye's first birthday.

It was also the date of the memorial 'candlelight' service at the childrens' hospice Demelza House for the children who, like my son Connor, aren't with us anymore.

Ever tried celebrating a birthday knowing that later that day you were going to a service for your lost son?

Not easy, I can tell you.

Thrown in the odd heated argument because of the pressure - and you had a recipe for a very interesting Sunday last weekend!

Yesterday (December 8th) was my 36th birthday - which also happened to coincide with Katie's Charity Christmas Carol service - the beneficiary of which was.......Demelza House Children's Hospice!

As I don't believe in coincidence - it's nice to know that little Connor is still reminding us that he can change the outcome of our days - even when he's not here!

The lesson I learned from all of this?

It's easy to forget how 'simple' your current life really is compared to where you have been in the past.

And...it's easy to forget that, although you should never forget, you should always remember that NOW is what matters - both to you and the people close to you.

Letting things get to you is a serious waste of your time. Period.

If you really think about it - most of what you are getting stressed about is based either on something that has already happened (which you now have no control over) - or something that you believe MAY happen in the future (which you also don't have any control over now, either!)

It's like trying to run up a huge sand dune - the faster you try - the deeper you get - and the quicker you slide back down.

Is YOUR life even a little like that?

It's so easy to make life complicated when in fact - it CAN be 'easy' and simple.

And...the more I write about what has made me successful over the last few years - the more I believe that it shouldn't really be that 'difficult' for YOU, either!

You're bombarded literally every day with the latest 'solution' to a problem that you may not even realized that you had!

And...even though I hate to admit it, some of my fellow marketers online are doing YOU a disservice by knowingly selling you stuff that won't work for you - whether you apply it to the letter or not.

I'm a man on a mission in 2006.

I'm going to try to find ways to help YOU achieve more than you ever have done - without costing YOU a fortune in monetary terms - or ME a fortune in TIME cost.

Not easy to do from where I'm sitting at the moment, that's for sure, but don't forget that the first elementary step in this puzzle is here.

In order to make this idea work - I am going to need something from YOU in return.

You're going to have to share more about yourself, your life, your dreams, your failures, and your successes - so that I will be in a position to tailor whatever I come up with in the best way to help you.

So...watch out for a few (confidential) surveys over the coming months.

ONLY if you take part will you be eligible to part of this 'partnership'. I haven't got time for something-for-nothing people, nor people who can't be bothered to take even a small amount of action, or get a little out of their comfort zone.

At the moment - I only have ideas in my head - waiting to get out, but I'm sick of seeing YOU and people like you being promised the earth at a price, when just a leg up will do!

This isn't some pre-sell for a product that is waiting in the wings - at the moment, I'm not sure about what I'm going to do - but I KNOW that it WILL involve YOUR partnership in doing something to make 2006 better than 2005.

Watch this space!

Whose Buddy Are You?

My nine-year-old daughter Katie, came home from school yesterday - full of excitement about the fact that she had been chosen as a 'buddy' to a younger child.

"What's a buddy then?" I asked.

"Well...you look after them and you play with them and you make sure they're alright and Jade is looking after someone but Melissa is not and I don't really like my buddy really but as I'm a buddy I'll look after them and I'm going to get a badge with 'buddy' written on it and..."

"I think I get the idea!"

(She likes to fit in as much as she can when she gets an opportunity to talk!)

"And we had to line up by the buddy sign and I called Jade over because her buddy was waiting for her and I should be getting my buddy badge soon..."

(She has also inherited a family trait passed down from my father to me to her - that of repeating ourselves!)

So...what has Katie being a buddy got to do with YOU?

Well...I was wondering - do YOU have a 'buddy'?

You know, someone you can go to to ask questions, ask for advice, talk through stuff with?

Someone who understands what you're going through?

"Yeh...and Melissa was angry with me because she said that I was showing off about being a buddy because she wasn't, and I said to her..."

(Alright Katie - I think they get the idea already - you can stop now!)

So...

The challenge for you is to find someone whom you can short-cut the learning process.

Someone who can just say "Yeh - just do this..." when you've spent hours trying to work something out.

Someone who can just say "Don't do that - I tried it last year and this happened" when you come up with a new idea.

Someone who can just say "You don't need to know all that - I didn't" when you are faced with what seems like a daunting learning curve.

Can you see where I'm going with this?

You CAN do it all yourself and make your own mistakes (like I did) - or you can take a few months (or even years) off of your learning timeframe by linking up with someone who has been there before.

Bet you're wondering where you can find such a person if you haven't already got someone, aren't you.

Well...

You could pay someone to be your 'coach' or mentor.
- Many of the very top household names do it this way...and even top actors have an acting coach.

You could attend a seminar and meet up with someone who is in the same boat as you.
- Quite often, even if this person isn't an 'expert' - they probably could share some knowledge about what works and what doesn't for them.

You can get an ebook, book, or course on your topic written by an expert.
- The trouble with this is that most of the 'experts' aren't...and, unless you have an implementation mentality, all that new knowledge may be waster by inaction.

You could participate on online forums.
- Not necessarily the best way, but many relationships have been started from answering each other's posts and progressed to email, phone calls etc

You could participate in a 'networking' type online (or offline) club.
- More business-oriented generally, but, if you invest the time to cultivate relationships, can be worthwhile

(I'm thinking about developing a similar type of website to those networking sites - not with a business-building focus - but just to get people like you connected to others with similar ideas, challenges etc.)

It's not always easy to find the right buddy for you - but it is certainly worth the effort in terms of the return you get from your time invested.

Just reading an autobiography from an expert in your area can give you some ideas about how to overcome obstacles or short-cut your learning curve.

There IS someone out there who is a perfect match for helping you get to where you want to go - you just need to make a little effort to find them.

Believe me - it's time well invested if it enables you to chop a few years off of learning stuff that you might not even need to learn!

At the very least - you will be able to talk to someone who understands what you're going through, which is always an excellent thing.

"And you need to help them just in case they are sad or fall over or don't know where they are going or something and..."

Yes, Katie - I think that they get the picture now!