Success...One Day At A Time

Snowdrops and Lucky Reflections

Last Sunday (20th February) was the 2nd anniversary of losing Connor.

We paid a visit (as we always do on his special occasions - like Sunday, his birthday, and Christmas) - to the children's hospice he used to visit - Demelza House.

It is an understatement to say that Demelza House gives amazing help - not only to the special needs children that visit and get one-on-one attention - but also to the families like us - who were able to have some time doing 'normal' stuff whilst knowing that Connor would be well looked after.

Their 'care' AFTER we lost Connor has also been wonderful.

And...as 'luck' would have it - Demelza's annual 'snowdrop planting' to remember those children no longer with us - happened to be this Sunday.

I counted 12 families who were there...drinking tea and coffee, eating cake and biscuits...all provided at no cost by an organization that unfortunately doesn't get a single penny in assistance from our government here in the UK.

I watched as people were laughing, siblings were painting pots...and little groups of people stood silent as we remembered.

It was strange (yet comforting too) to see other families like us whose lives had forever been changed by those special little children who unfortunately didn't make it.

Some were lucky like us to have over four-and-a-half years learning from our special child...others shared just a few short weeks with theirs.

Yet - even though it was an occasion of reflection - those 12 families were laughing, chatting, and generally getting along - despite all the obvious pain and hardship that they had been through - just like us.

These people knew that they were the lucky ones in a way (I know that I certainly feel that way)...to have had the opportunity to experience life in a way that makes you REALLY appreciate how wonderful 'normal' life is.

It's just a shame that I reckon if that room on Sunday had been full of 12 families of career go-getters who lived in nice houses and drove smart cars - I very much doubt that there would have been as much POSITIVE communication taking place.

Wouldn't YOU agree that that's such a shame?

Life certainly isn't as 'bad' as you think when you realize what these (and other people who go through similar trials) go through just to be able to get out of the door in the morning!

It's easy to sit in front of the TV wishing that your lotto numbers come up because life is 'unfair'.

Just try getting up in the morning knowing that you're one gasp away from a blue-faced son who need resuscitation whilst your wife calls an ambulance.

But - even THAT isn't unfair - that's just a thing called life!

Life is all about perspective...don't make yours worse just because you believe that you're unlucky.

You're not - YOU are certainly one of the LUCKY ones - yet you probably don't realize it.

And I'll be the first to raise my hand to say that I was just like you, too...until a special little boy called Connor came along and made me REALLY appreciate how LUCKY I was after all.

Simply Overcoming Fear And A Low Self Image?

Question:

My biggest problem at present is fear...and it doesn't help that I have a very low self image. How do I overcome this?

Answer:

Let's get one thing straight...we ALL suffer from fear, and I've yet to meet anyone, successful or not, who can't find something about themselves that they don't feel confident about.

The key is to what extent you let these doubts, fears, and general lack of self-confidence get in the way of achieving things in life.

It's easy to slip into the blame routine...where you blame your lack of something for you not being able to do the things that you want to do.

Let me ask YOU...what is it that you fear?

Is it fear of failing...or is it a fear of the unknown?

We've all been 'guilty' of both...but sometimes it's the more obvious things that are the real 'excuses' than our fears.

It's crucially important, in my opinion, that you focus firstly on what you EXCEL (or are even good) at before you start to look at what you are not so good at.

You see...the route to the most rewarding times of your life are guided by the very skills and talents that you perhaps might take for granted.

I've said it many times before...but it is SO much easier to get over challenges about your confidence if, deep down, you KNOW that you can 'do this'!

None of us were born skilled public speakers, craftsmen, architects, singers, or even entrepreneurs!

Sure...many professions require SOME natural talent in the first place...but I doubt that you find a success in ANY job who hasn't had to work hard and rise to what may have seemed unsurmountable challenges along the way.

And...there are many more talented sportsmen and women, actors and actresses, singers, and authors who are living mundane lives because they didn't work at improving, and making the most of, the talents that they were born with.

So...to echo an old saying...

"Don't ask yourself why...ask yourself why not?"

Whether you realize it or not...YOU have the seeds to be 'world class' at something.

It may not be something obvious like world chess champion...it might just be that you are able to be the absolute best at dealing with a particular situation at home or at work.

The cornerstone of thinking about the sort of person that you THINK you need to be to acheive your goals starts with making the most of what you've already got...and then working to add new skills and knowledge to that.

Sure...it won't always be easy...but it will be EASIER than 'starting from scratch' by trying to learn skills that you THINK you should have.

NOTE: If you feel that you need a 'kickstart' in the confidence stakes...or perhaps some positive reminders that you ARE talented and should therefore believe in yourself more - Unstoppable Confidence gets my top recommendation as the best confidence-building resource online.