Success...One Day At A Time

Beating The Confidence Trick

Doesn't it sometimes seem that the whole world is laughing whilst you are feeling the opposite?

Does it feel to you that life is sometimes like one big 'confidence trick'...and YOU are the loser?

Sometimes it can be a challenge to be positive when things seem to go against you.

But IT is possible to be confident DESPITE what the 'real world' says.

I am of the firm opinion that part of who we are is defined by how well we deal with the failures in our life.

I know...over the last few years it has seemed that sometimes my life has been going downhill whilst other people were confidently going around without a care in the world!

Until...I realized that MY world (and my place in it, as well as my view of it) was defined by what I did or didn't do when faced with the challenges in my life.

In short...YOU can either 'roll over' and blame the world for your troubles...or you can look at WHY these things are happeing to you.

Believe me...there is ALWAYS a 'big picture' reason why things happen to YOU in YOUR life.

Things happen because the next step in your development is to become the person that is capable with dealing with such a challenge.

Whether you like it or not...you NEED to face up to these 'hits' on your confidence so that you learn - and move up.

Blaming others doesn't allow you to learn from an experience.

Passing the 'buck' is a sure-fire way to remain where you are. Guaranteed.

If you accept that you need these challenges to become the person you REALLY should be, then over time, YOU will be that person to whom OTHERS look towards!

Not only that...once you learn to face the smaller challenges head on...you'll find it SO much easier to deal with the bigger things that life throws you.

The Kite And YOU

This afternoon we took Katie down to the beach to fly her new kite.

Now...even though it was probably the cheapest one we could find...it STILL was capable of coasting, dipping and diving as the wind dictated.

Except when Katie failed to keep its 'nose' up.

Then...it would just come crashing down sending sunbathers scattering...and then embed itself into the pebbles on the beach.

This happened even though the wind was ALWAYS there.

One chink on the string in the wrong direction...and the whole fly-ability of that kite would fall apart in less that half a second.

Are YOU trying to go AGAINST the wind instead of WITH it?

It's easily done, of course.

For example...isn't it so much easier to see what you do wrong than acknowledge what you are great at?

I know...I have that very same problem!

We forget that firstly, we DO have talent...and secondly, that we HAVE made progress (I hope) from this time last year.

Be like that kite when it's facing the wind...go for it for all you're worth!

And...when the wind changes and your nose drops a little...and you feel as if you are crashing down back to where you started, just remember one important thing...

That wind will ALWAYS be there as soon as you get back up there again!

Just Tell It To Shut Up!

I'm not ashamed to say that I get voices inside my head!

Well...OK...perhaps not voices, plural...just a voice, singular.

And you do, too, right?

(Please say yes!)

Now...this voice of mine is constantly directing me towards doing new things (as well as reminding me of things that I perhaps should have done better in the past!)

The trouble is that, most of the time...it is a challenge to get this voice to view things positively!

You know what I mean, don't you?

Do have that self-same problem?

Well...I used to listen to the negative voice a lot more than I do now.

In fact...I just tell it to 'shut up'!

I know that my little voice can be used one of two ways - for good, constructive comments - or for bad, negative ones.

And...I also know that whichever one I hear the most of literally INFECTS the other type for ages after I focus on it.

Sometimes it seems as if there is a 'negative virus' going around inside my head as I battle to see the positive in some situations.

Tell me you've been there too, haven't you?

The trick is to ALWAYS laugh in the face of that voice that tells you why you can't do something.

After all...how could it possibly KNOW that you can't if you have never even attempted it?

You see - that voice is based upon your PREVIOUS experiences up to this very second.

So...it stands to reason that it is BOUND to try to convince that you aren't able to do more than you ever have before...just because it doesn't BELIEVE that YOU can!

Except...I DO believe that I can.

And...YOU should BELIEVE that you CAN, too.

That voice is there to make sure that you have a sense of reality in your life based upon what you KNOW.

Yet...based on my experience...it's what you don't YET know that could be holding you back.

For example...if I personally hadn't challenged that voice over the last couple of years - I would never have learned the completely NEW skills that I found that I had a talent for all along.

I wonder how many 'new' skills YOU have...that you haven't yet come across - just because your voice is telling you that you could never BE the sort of person who has them.

Except now YOU (and not that voice) KNOW different, don't you?

The Best And Worst Of Us...

Having just spent a week in Las Vegas...it's nice to be back home.

Not being a gambler...nor a fan of 'shows'...it certainly isn't my ideal destination!

But...there I went to spend four, 14-hour days stuck on a chair learning more about how successful people 'work'.

I also managed a visit to the Strip...as well as finally getting to see the Grand Canyon up close.

And...just as we drifted a mile down the Colorado river... we suddenly saw a red-tailed hawk swoop across the bow of our boat...and fly into his nest on the protected side of the Canyon.

At the same time...it was eerily silent as the two-minute gap between helicopters taking off and landing left us soaking up the atmosphere before the thud-thud-thud of rotor blades sounded in the distance.

Certainly time for reflection...that was for sure.

Las Vegas to me, seems such a 'hollow' place. Walk just yards off of the strip...and you hit areas that you wouldn't find comfortable walking at night.

Being more aware of my feelings compared to my last visit two years ago...I got an overwhelming feeling of almost desperation spread amongst the squealing of people turned up-side down by roller coasters and rides in the 'theme park' hotels.

Why desperation?

Well...the fact that the hotels have become more lavish and and are adding rooms and shops at an alarming rate told me without speaking who the winners were in this gambling 'haven'.

If I sound a little down...I don't mean to be.

It just saddens me to see tens of thousands of people chasing a 'dream' where the odds are ALWAYS in favor of the house.

For me...Vegas is the best and worst of America.

The amazing Sistine Chapel-like ceiling paintings of the entrance to The Venetian is spoiled by the ding-ding of the slot machines.

Of course...I know that one couldn't possibly exist without the other, but to me, anyway, some of the greatest modern-buildings-replicating-historic-buildings are lost behind the sad faces of people piling their money into a computerized money pit.

Of course...the whole place is MEANT to be one huge 'theme park'...but at least at Disney all you lose is what you pay for.

People just chasing more money with the hope of changing their lives is, to me, just completely the wrong way around.

YOU should be changing YOUR life...with the EXPECTATION of EARNING more money.

That's the way it SHOULD be...and IS for those people who, usually because of some misfortune, realize that they may have their life priorities upside-down.

Even one of the speakers said that it's pointless trying to sell a 'dream' - unless you give people a promise of some financial reward as part of the deal.

It's a shame that just plain being HAPPY and having FUN is clouded by the non-stop chasing of something that gets further away the closer you get to it!

That's why I am glad that I live in MY head...and am happy with my 'lot' - whatever financial rewards it may bring.

What's the point of running after something that you may realize that you don't even want as you chase after it.

Too many lives are wasted chasing after someone elses' version of what YOUR dream should be.

Unless you begin with your thoughts...then you're going to be in a race around a running track with no finishing line.

Take stock of what's REALLY important in your life...and then look at what talents you undoubtedly have already in your possession.

THAT'S where YOUR future lies...not in some competition to win some money that you will undoubtedly lose the next time that you play.

Whether you spend it in front of a slot machine, a TV, the Internet, a book...or watching your child's school play... that time, once used, is FOREVER lost to you.

Never to return.

So...invest wisely in what you want from your future.

The true short-cuts to security are not shown in the faces of the smiling people just like you who just won a car on a slot machine.

No.

Long term prosperity is reflected in huge plasma screens that project ads 24 hours a day.

Those owners are the winners...purely because they know that us humans prefer greed to real lifelong change for the better.

Remember...the things that matter most are the things that money CANNOT buy - however much you win or earn.

And...a dollar bill, a pound coin, or a euro doesn't fit the bill.

'One Size Fits All' Doesn't!

I'm off for a week to Las Vegas to attend an Internet marketing seminar.

I expect that I will see some familiar faces there.

Those people are those who are either...

a) There to constantly develop their knowledge and contacts
b) There because they are 'seminar junkies'

Now...I certainly am in the a) camp as I go to these things - but only if I make sure in some way that I get a 'return' on my investment - whether it's from the application of my new knowledge, or from making new contacts.

Unfortunately...I'll also meet again the 'junkies'...who are attending yet another seminar just to say that they've been...but aren't really any further forward than when I first met them over the last couple of years.

These people...although having good intentions...get sucked in by the actual attending part - and forget that, if they've been to more than a couple of seminars - they should actually be making progress.

It seems to me that they'll STILL looking for the 'next big thing' - instead of working out WHAT they REALLY want from attending.

Of course...it's not always easy to quantify a return from going to these things...but being in exactly the same place six months after attending does not signal success to me!

It's the same with whatever you do.

It's pointless reading something (or even watching, for that matter)...unless you literally TRANSLATE it into a way that COULD work for YOU.

Remember...you'll probably fail if you try to 'copy' exactly what the 'gurus' tell you - as YOU are not THEM.

But...in order for you NOT to be a KNOWLEDGE junkie who is just standing still - then you need to understand that you should aim for the nuggets of information that fit YOU like a glove instead of trying to apply everything and fail.

I could tell you EXACTLY what I do and how I do it...yet, unless you apply it in a way that suits YOU...then it almost certainly won't work for you.

We are ALL different...and therefore isn't it any wonder that 'one size fits all' DOESN'T?

They Do Not Have To Live YOUR life, Do They?

Never underestimate what you can achieve in life!

Are YOU one of those people who truly believe that you couldn't be like someone you really admire?

When all is said and done...it's pointless trying to BE like them.

After all - YOU are NOT them!

But...many 'ordinary' people achieve almost 'extraordinary' things purely because they refused to accept what they were given.

They refused to accept that they COULD do more with their life than the next person.

In short...they refused to believe someone else's 'impossible'!

Are YOU persuaded my OTHER people that you may not be good enough to do what you would REALLY like to?

These 'dream stealers' may truly have your best interests at heart but...

They do not have to live YOUR life, do they?

So...next time you feel inspired to do something that other people may not think that you are qualified or able to do, just stop and think for a little bit.

What if they had NEVER told you that they didn't think that you were capable...wouldn't you STILL be as 'fired up' about really going for it as you were before?

So...live YOUR life on YOUR terms.

After all...it's the ONLY one you've got!

What Would YOU Do If You Could Do It All Over Again?

What would you do differently if you could live your life over again?

What would you do?

Where would you go?

More importantly...how would you THINK?

Do you see yourself as happy...carefree...and enjoying life to the full?

Challenged in a good way...constantly improving as a person?

Well...what would YOU do if you could do it all again?

I bet that there are many things that perhaps you could STILL do - if you REALLY wanted to.

If you stop for a moment and think about what you really want from your life...what little steps could you take TODAY so that you could move that litttle bit closer to it?

We're our own worst enemy when we consider what we are CAPABLE of.

How many times have you silently told yourself that weren't talented enough...or that you would fail if you tried something new?

We are victims of our own self-imposed limitations as to what is possible in our lives.

Sure...you may have responsibilities...commitments - yet I bet that in some small way you COULD improve on where you are right now.

Now...this won't happen overnight! After all - it's probably taken you years to get to where you are now.

But...if you go back and look about what you WOULD do differently - how could you maybe TRY to apply that to what you are doing now?

The only limits in this life are set between your ears.

It's up to YOU to do something DIFFERENTLY. There IS still time.

It's NEVER too late to START. Never.

Stop! Don't Think Your Way To Failure!

It's such a shame that there are so many people just plain angry in this world.

They take pleasure in trying to trip people up...talk down to them...and generally try to upset them.

Over the last couple of days on my UK internet marketing forum - there has been one person who has purposely gone out of their way to insult, belittle, and generally put down other people who geniunely are trying to do something with their lives.

It's a shame that this person doesn't realize that they are their own worst enemy!

If we take it back to the very basic 'trait' of ALL successful people...

"You become what you think about"

...then this person is constantly focusing on the negative side of life...then wonders why there are other people who are more 'fortunate' than they are.

So...in a way, they're constantly focusing on the very things they want to move away from.

The sad thing is that this sort of negative mentality is so widespread.

There are SO many people who don't get that whenever you try to do something to someone else...you're really doing it to yourself in the long run!

The GOOD guys DO win...but because quite often it takes a long time for the circle to close on those negative people...we believe that being 'nice' to other people is not the best way to a successful life.

I KNOW different...but it took me a few years to work out that I COULD be successful in this way.

ANY form of negative thinking...whether directed at OTHER people...or, perhaps even worse...at YOURSELF, is only paving a path to somewhere that you don't really want to go.

And anyway...life's too short to spend it miserable.

Though, I agree that sometimes...it IS a challenge to rise above the seeming majority who believe otherwise!

Go On - Flutter Your Success Wings!

We all change.

In fact...you're probably a different person that you were a few hours ago!

Why?

Well...even over the last few MINUTES - you've made decisions that will shape your life for YEARS to come.

Don't believe me?

Well...it's like the old saying that a butterfly flapping its wings in the Amazon rainforest can affect weather patterns on the other side of the world.

Who knows...but you can't PROVE it! And...just because you can't prove something doesn't mean that you should disregard it!

So...who's to say that going up in one elevator instead of another one this morning at work didn't change the outcome of something else in the future?

By taking that elevator instead of another one, you could...

- Be at your desk 10 seconds earlier
- Say hello to someone that you wouldn't have met
- Replied to an email earlier than you would have done
- Answered your ringing phone instead of missing it

You get the idea. Life's like that film called "Sliding Doors" that starred Gwyneth Paltrow.

Who's to say how different your life COULD have been if you had made a split-second decision that took you on a different path.

Achieving success is like that.

Once you have REALLY decided NEVER to go back to the 'old you'...your world begins to change...because your DECISIONS will be different than before.

And...as EVERY decision that you make undoubtedly impacts on your future...then, once you've fluttered your own success wings - who knows what ELSE you are changing - miles and years away.

It's NEVER too late to start making DIFFERENT decisions.

Every single one that you make will either have a positive or a negative effect on your future...so you'd better make sure that you start making the right ones!

Success Is For Wimps Who Are...

You may have heard the saying...

"Trying to fit a square peg into a round hole"

In other words...trying to make something fit that has absolutely NO chance whatsoever!

My life used to be like that.

I was spending 40 hours a week doing ONE thing...when I desperately wanted ANYTHING else!

I even used to spend my weekends thinking about what I needed to do on Monday morning!

How sad is that?

Sad...but unfortunately true for a lot of people who believe that success is entirely down to how far up the career ladder you go.

Shame, really...because there is a whole other LIFE out there that was MADE for you.

Imagine what it would be like...actually enjoying what you do...and never having that 'Monday morning feeling' EVER again.

Think about it. Wouldn't it be great?

Great...but impossible?

Well...no, not really.

I personally don't have a Monday morning feeling...yet I probably site at my desk in my home office longer than I used to in the bank I used to work in!

And...if you look on a per-hour basis in terms of income...I'm probably worse off!

Yet...I can safely say that I am a thousand times more content with my life.

Not because I work for myself. Not because I have a six second commute. Not because I can go for a walk along the beach a 2pm if I want.

Nope.

I'm happier because I do what I ENJOY doing (generally!).

But...if you LOVE being a banker, salesman, security guard or whatever and all that entails...go for it! But...make sure that you don't forget how important it is to be part of your family.

Father, mother, son, daughter...without our emotional foundations...it would be pointless to be the most successful ANYTHING...because you sure as hell won't enjoy it much on your own!

So...the first step is to try to do more of what you actually enjoy...but also make sure that you look at what you want from your ENTIRE life...both now and in the future.

Success is for wimps who are miserable when they achieve everything that they've ever dreamed of...and wished that they had spent more time with the people they love in the process.

So...always make sure that you leave some 'room' in your life for those people whom you want with you when you 'make it'.

Otherwise...there won't really be much point!

Habit. Habit. Habit.

It's back to basics time.

Unless you DO something differently - then nothing much is going to change.

I know...I did EXACTLY the same for years...and then wondered why my life never got any better.

Sound familiar?

We are all creatures of HABIT...and, the more you use this to your advantage...the better results you will have.

But...you MUST start small...otherwise you will be attempting to climb a mountain without knowing the 'ropes'...and will undoubtedly try and give up at the very first attempt.

Or maybe after the second or third if you really try to stick at it!

So...

- If you want to lose weight...just begin by eating one 'treat' less than you usually do.
- If you want a new job...just start by getting out your old CV and re-writing it.
- If you're looking to earning a second income...just write a couple of hundreds words about WHY you want to do it!
- If you want a promotion at work...start noting down what impresses you most about the people who are successful where you work.

Sure...they may be LITTLE things...but nevertheless very IMPORTANT little things!

And...once you've given up ONE treat every day for two weeks...then it will certainly be easier to give up another one!

The ONLY way things are going to CHANGE for good is if you change your HABITS!

One little baby step at a time.

Sure...it takes longer this way...but I guarantee that it is certainly that much HARDER to fall 'off the wagon' when you are taking it one step at a time.

Not only that...it's a hell of a lot more difficult to 'go back' to the OLD you when you have replaced your bad habits with good ones!

The Rise Of The Poverty Bandits

Are YOU one of THEM?

We all know someone like it.

They go around constantly complaining about why this doesn't work...or how unlucky there are.

Even worse...they're constantly harping on about how their neighbor or friend doesn't deserve to have what they've got - and that they themselves 'wish' they could have everything fall into place like them!

This 'passing the buck' sort of attitude, quite frankly, depresses me.

If these people spent HALF of the time they spend on gossiping and moaning on doing something POSITIVE and CONSTRUCTIVE then their world would be completely different.

I know...because I USED to be one of THEM!

I was always jealous of the person who go the promotion when I didn't...always angry and bitter that things seemed to work for one friend...and yet never quite came off for me.

Then I began to realize that, because I was constantly focusing on this LACK mentality - I was just turning into a POVERTY BANDIT!

Stealing the bad luck from other people purely because I focused on it so much!

What about YOU?

Are YOU turning into a Poverty Bandit?

Are you blaming everyone else for where YOU are...instead of looking at WHY you may not be as 'fortunate' as them?

Too many people spend all their lives complaining, whinging...and handing over responsibility for where they are to EVERYBODY else.

Shame that they don't realize that they're making true their worst fears by consistently focusing on the 'bad' stuff.

So...don't YOU turn into a lifetime Poverty Bandit...because, believe me...the more you 'steal'...the harder it is to go 'straight'!

Six Years Today...My Life Changed

It would have been Connor's sixth birthday today.

It seems like so much more than 15 months ago that we lost him.

Yet...for me...he's still there - making sure that coincidences come our way...and STILL shaping the lives of my close family.

Take today, for example.

Every 'anniversary' (and a few other occasions, too) we visit the rememberance garden at his old children's hospice - Demelza House.

Quite often our parents come too...but today, unfortunately, my mother couldn't come along because she had a medical appointment that could only be arranged for today.

Fair enough...but the place she had to go for this appointment was none other than the site of Connor's pre-school...a place where he always used to laugh and smile as soon as he was pushed through the doors.

We didn't know that they dealt with patients other than children...until today.

Not only that...apart from Demelza House - this place is the ONLY other place that we could possibly associate with Connor.

Lesley still gets goosebumps every time we drive by.

Now...you may be thinking that this is a coincidence.

But we KNOW otherwise!

In my opinion...coincidences are sent to us as reminders that something (or someone) is important.

And...I can't think of a more important reminder than this one today!

The Ladder...And The BIG Goal

I've come to realize a very important thing the more I learn about how I 'work'.

Each rung of the ladder to success is made up of FOCUS.

What do I mean by this?

Well...

If you look at some of the most successful people...both past and present...they ALL were focused on ONE overriding objective (ie the TOP of their respective ladder).

- Bill Gates - a pc in every house
- NASA in 1962 - Get man on the moon by the end of the decade
- Arnold Schwarzenegger - become Mr Universe...become a top actor...(and more)

Three completely different situations...but, whether you actually LIKE the people involved...they ALL either succeeded in achieving their goal (I reckon Bill Gates will get there eventually!).

In order to reach the top of the ladder...you need to take each step - one at a time.

And...every SINGLE step needs to contribute to your climb...otherwise you either don't move up at all...or just take a step downwards.

The way to make sure that you are CONSISTENTLY moving UP the ladder to YOUR success is to make sure that EVERY single step is FOCUSED on CONTRIBUTING to the achievment of the one that FOLLOWS!

In many cases...the NEXT step might actually take you AWAY from where you THINK that you want to go...but it is NECESSARY for you to take it because it is a step you MUST take if you want to get to the TOP.

It's not easy to visualize EVERY step on that ladder that you need to focus on...so the BEST thing to do is make a good guess - then just GO FOR IT!

The very fact that you are attempting the climb will mean that you are actually ON the ladder to YOUR own success...when so many other people just write off their chances - and don't make that first step!

So...pick a BIG goal...and just FOCUS on the FIRST thing that you can do that will somehow take you TOWARDS it!

You never know where that ladder will take you...but it will certainly take you higher than if you don't even bother.

So...what are YOU waiting for?