“A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he … stops trying.”
-- John Burroughs, 1926-, 1837-1921, American Naturalist, Author
I just realized this morning that many “success coaches” make success TOO MUCH of an “all or nothing” proposition. And in doing so, they actually overburden people rather than setting them free. I have one particular example of this in mind. I participated recently in a discussion group whose purpose was to share insights that would help us achieve greater success. In pursuit of that noble purpose, one person committed that unpardonable sin by saying he was “trying” to work on an area of his life where he was having a personal struggle. Now made vulnerable by this disclosure, the poor man was much more chastened for his use of the word “try” than he was commended for his efforts. I have to admit that I actually supported their chastening at the time, not realizing that I was putting a burden on both that individual and myself that no human being should EVER have to bear – the burden of being the god of outcomes.
Webster’s Dictionary defines “try” as “to make an attempt”. Now I ask you, what is wrong with making an attempt at something worthwhile? Or, for that matter, with making a series of failed attempts, while continually making progress? Many misinformed, but devout “success achievers” will tell you that the word “try” is self defeating and should be removed from your vocabulary, because it implies either lack of commitment or presumption of failure. To put it bluntly, that is utter nonsense, and they are not only DEAD WRONG despite their good intentions; they are selling you a sure-fire formula for needlessly multiplying the distress in your life! You can be fanatically committed, but you can’t escape the necessity of “making an attempt” if you want to accomplish something! And any attempt carries with it the unavoidable possibility of failure!
To illustrate, our extraordinary advances in weaponry have become common knowledge. This was dramatized during the Gulf War, when the media let us look through the video camera “eyes” of our missiles as they homed in with pinpoint accuracy on their targets. Did you know that these missiles are actually off course a good deal of the time? They arrive at their targets with deadly precision because they have extremely sophisticated systems built into them that continually adjust their course until their objective is reached. In other words, they continually try, fail, and adapt in flight with a specific goal, or target, in “mind”.
So clearly, as the opening quotation says, it is not in trying that we fail. It is in giving up! Instead, the first REAL issue is whether or not our objective is worthwhile. As Robert Schuller said, “I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed.” The second REAL issue is whether or not we can achieve it. Both of these are judgment calls for each individual based on their values and beliefs. Like Robert Schuller, I strongly recommend aiming as high as possible (or even higher), but with the knowledge that the more worthy the goal, the greater our commitment must be to achieve it.
And whether or not the “success achievers” approve of my use of the “F-word”, it is a fact of life that we are going to FAIL. That is as certain as the law of gravity. There will always be factors beyond our control or ability to anticipate, and when those occur, we will fail. We needn’t lose heart but for the moment. And we needn’t give up if our cause is worthy. Life doesn’t always play fair, and accepting that fact, even embracing the ultimate wisdom of it, gives us the serenity and dignity to rise from the dust of that failure and press on.
When we fail for our own lack of commitment, knowledge, skill or focus, let’s not punish ourselves for “trying”! It is also unwise either to waste our time on regret or close the door on our past. Instead, let’s “try, fail and adapt in flight”. Let’s learn and grow through our mistakes, and use our experience to help others along the way.
So go ahead and TRY! Break the shackles of perfectionism that say you must either “do it” or be a failure. Pick something really important to you – something great and worthy of your wholehearted commitment. Then go after it, knowing and accepting that you will fail along the way, but KEEP TRYING! As long as you’re still trying, failing and adapting, you ARE a success! You are a guided missile!
I Appreciate You,
Craig Lunde
President
EnviroMark, Inc.
909-427-1165
clunde@adelphia.net
Create Abundance in Your Life...Watching Movies!
GO TO: www.smashthemold.com
"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way."
-- "Babe" Ruth
Posted by lundec
