 Teaching A Pig To Sing |
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Never try to teach a pig to sing. The subtitle of this article could be “trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” I mean no disrespect to pigs, either. I am, in fact, a pig advocate here. I believe in leaving the pig to be a pig, even if living with it is driving you crazy. What I am getting at here is the futility of trying to change people. It is impossible for you and frustrating for the object of your attempts. Everyone is entitled to be who they are, even if who they are is negative, abusive, mean or dysfunctional. The only issue that should be going on with you is whether or not you want the pig in your house. One of the most useless occupations in the universe is trying to change another person. It means that we don’t accept them and we think we know better than they do what is good for them. It makes us want to control the other person. We attempt to become the arbiters of what is right and wrong. I feel that this also applies to children. Children are born with personalities. As they grow, they develop their own wants, goals and desires. Just because you always wanted a doctor in the family is no reason to force a child who is, say, a musician to do what you want. Of course you are going to guide them, and teach them your values. But they are not miniatures of you! Allow them their own goals. Trying to force them into your desired patterns will only hurt you both. I know, from first-hand experience, it is painful to see someone you care about on a destructive path. However, I also know that you can’t alter the path for them. They are making their own decisions and will continue to do so irregardless of how you feel about it. You can only be supportive, or not; you can only tell them how you feel about what they are doing, or not. All the nagging, screaming, crying and interference you can muster will not alter another person if they have made up their minds. I know, from first-hand experience, it is painful to be in love with someone who is disrespectful, abusive and a cheater. I also know that you can’t stop them. They are making their own decisions and will continue to treat you this way irregardless of how you feel about it. The only thing you can do is to learn to respect yourself and move on. Wishing and hoping and praying they will change is a fruitless endeavor. They are who they are, even if who they are is hurtful. Get strong and move on. The only person you can change is yourself. Put your effort into that and reap the rewards. In the end, a pig is going to be a pig, and no amount of work on your part is going to turn a pig into a dog. Consider how many years of effort you care to put into the impossible, while you are making the pig and yourself miserable. Life is too short! Ditch the pig or learn to live with it just as it is. You and the pig will be a lot happier. Posted by mclendons
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